Guardian Angels ✔

4 - Feelings

Alex breathed in and out heavily. Anger and powerlessness raged through her, and this time she could no longer hold it in. She was sick of the constant cheap shots from Miles. She stood up and clenched her fists. For a moment she caught a glimpse of his sneering grin, then she grabbed the back of his head and slammed his face right into his pizza.

"Shut your fucking mouth, asshole. Don't you ever insult my girl again," she snarled, pushing his head deeper into the pizza on the table. "Don't take it out on me that your kutte is the only reason girls wanna fuck you, how does it feel knowing that you're their last choice now the others are back."

The others were grinning. She didn't know which they found funnier, that Miles' stupid face was pressed straight into his dinner, or Alex making a fool of herself by overreacting so much. She felt red patches creeping up her neck and she didn't know what to do next. Before she could make a decision, Miles jammed his elbow into her midriff; Alex doubled over as pain laced its way through her stomach. Chair legs scraped across the floor and the next moment Miles was around the table, storming towards her with a fist flying to her face. Just before he was able to make the connection she warded him off with her forearm; following through by landing a punch herself; blood splattering out of his lip when her clenched fingers met his mouth.

Almost savagely, she breathed out, looking at the dazed look on Miles' face as he stared at her. Seeing his confusion filled her with a sense of triumph. She had clearly benefited from the boxing practice she had done hours and hours together with her brother who had trained at a high level.

Miles however wasn't ready to give up. He puffed out his chest and gave her a hateful glare. Alex squinted her eyes. She wasn't impressed by his stature. They were practically the same height and even though he had a more masculine build, he was a joke in comparison to someone like Happy.

Before they could be at each other's throat again, Chibs intervened.

"Enough. If the two of ye wanna fight, ye be doin' that in the ring and not in the middle of a restaurant."

Miles sniffed. With a wild gesture, he wiped his mouth, leaving behind a bloody trail on his hand.

Alex bowed her head in agreement and sat down again. She hated herself for letting Miles get to her that way, even though she secretly felt happy she'd given him a real good punch in the face and had managed to get away from that nasty conversation.

She ate the last slice of pizza and washed it down with some water. A quick look at the clock told her it was six o'clock.

"It's almost time for the wedding," she said to her sponsor. "Can I leave?"

"To do what?" Miles taunted. "Paint your nails?"

To avoid you, or I'm gonna punch you in your shitty face again. She swallowed the anger that bubbled up again and didn't even bother to look over her shoulder.

Kozik gave her a nod. "Be at the clubhouse within an hour."

Alex nodded back. "Enjoy your pizza," she said, briefly looking at the others. She couldn't help but sound mocking. For a moment her eyes rested on Miles. She tapped her cheek. "Got something there."

Shit, that sounded so bitchy, Alex realized.

She was about to cry, she needed to leave. Now.

She tried to hold it together, but she still turned away from them in a rush and walked away with a little too large steps. Tears were burning in her eyes. She was fucking this up. All because of that arrogant asshole.

. . .

When Alex got home, she dropped down on the couch. What a nightmare. What a fucking nightmare.

"You don't look very happy," a voice called from the dinner table.

She had been so lost in thoughts she hadn't even noticed Mila; even the smell of her friend's mac n' cheese had escaped her attention.

"Today was a fucking disaster," she muttered, staring at the ceiling. "And I still have all evening to go."

"I'm surprised you came home. My place is a mess, so decided to I flee to yours."

Alex wasn't surprised at all. Mila's house had been under construction for ages and it was such a painfully slow process that Alex had the feeling her friend was leaving one brush stroke on the walls each day.

"I didn't plan to. But I needed a break."

Mila sat down on the couch facing Alex, her legs folded beneath her and mac n' cheese resting on her lap. "Doesn't sound good. What happened?"

"Pretty much all the bad things you could imagine," she muttered. "Miles was such a pain in the ass and I lost it; slammed his head into his pizza and then I punched him in his face."

Mila chuckled softly. "Would have loved to see that."

With a sigh, Alex sat up straighter. "I lost control." Alex stressed, "I've been a complete idiot today. The others are still at Cavura eating their pizzas, I bet they're making fun of me now."

"Whatever. We make fun of them all the time."

"Only Miles."

Mila put her spoon in her mouth and watched her. "What about your new brothers? They're jerks too?"

"I barely got the chance to talk to them," she muttered. "The only thing they were talking about, were the girls they'd fucked since they've been out, they tried to get me to join the conversation as well. I wanted to get out of there so badly."

"Then leave. Just stay away." Mila shrugged her shoulders.

"No. I'm not ready yet."

Mila looked at her in silence but didn't push the topic. Not anymore. Fortunately. It was a conversation they'd had a hundred times before.

Alex thought of Juice and heaved an even deeper sigh. "You know how I get with nice guys, huh?"

"You mean how you're a disaster..."

"Yeah." She gave her friend a meaningful look.

Mila sat up straighter and pushed her glasses higher on her nose. Her eyes went wide. "Oh come on! Don't tell me you like one of your new brothers. I can't handle that drama."

Alex said nothing. Which was an answer itself.

"Shit, Lex! You haven't looked twice at a man since you broke up with Oliver and that was like six years ago! And of all the times you...?" She shook her head, her shoulder-length brown hair waving. "How bad is it?"

Alex fell back on the couch again. "Bad."

She knew herself. It had been ages since someone had made her feel something and that wouldn't just go away. If anything, it would probably get only worse.