Guardian Angels ✔

57 - Roommates

Alex had no idea how long they were sitting like this. Exhausted, she leaned against Juice. Her throat felt sore, her eyes were stinging because of the many tears. But she had done it – she had pushed away all reserve, had broken completely and now she felt weak and nauseous. After a long time she turned towards Juice. In silence he studied her face, as if he wanted to judge if she had cried enough. 

"You brought up Kip's funeral on purpose, huh?"

Guilt-ridden, he looked at her, nodding. "I had the feeling you needed a little push in the right direction."

She sighed. If it had really been the right direction, remained to be seen. Even though her throat still felt painful and the skin on her cheeks was heated, she laid a hand against his jaw and kissed him softly – more tender than she had ever done before. Usually their kisses were passionate, making her forget about everything; this one however was fragile and she was very aware of her pain. It felt like a way to make him feel what she was feeling; some new form of intimacy. 

That it was more than her imagination alone, became clear when a tear fell on her thumb. Hesitating, she looked up. Across his cheekbone was a glistening trail that the tear had left behind. There was only one, and she didn't know what the reason was. Maybe he found it hard to see her so fragile, or he might be emotional because she finally dared to connect with him on this level – or maybe it was because of Piney's dead and all the other shit that was going on.

With her thumb she wiped away the trail, then she closed her eyes and found his lips again. They were vibrating – both of their lips were, like they were in between two emotions, between their pain and their happiness. In the end Juice raised himself and lifted her up. In his eyes she read a silent question, and hers gave him a silent answer. He carried her inside, easily, despite the fact that she was taller than he. In the bedroom he laid her down on the bed, and slowly their pieces of clothes glided down. He kissed her from top to toe; not hungrily, but with a precision as if he didn't want to skip a single inch. Although she was usually very impatient, she closed her eyes this time, fully concentrating on his fingertips and lips climbing up her legs, continuing across her stomach, her breasts, until they finally moistened a part that made her wring her hands in the blankets. 

She did nothing herself – she let it all just come over her, knowing that was what he wanted right now. A shaky sigh slipped her lips as he lowered himself on top of her. His fingers entwined with the little bit of hair she had, his brown eyes looking into hers. They expressed so much emotion that she was inclined to look away, but she didn't.

Slowly he entered her. Just a little bit, then he pulled back and did it again. Her muscles were tensing. She felt a bit uncomfortable with the slow pace; it gave her an unknown tension. Although they were usually joking around, this all felt very serious. 

When he glided deeper inside her, she noticed that she was holding her breath – as was he. A little confused she looked at him, not knowing what they were doing right now, why it was so different from all the other times they had sex. 

"I love you Alex." His voice sounded deeper than usual, she felt how he was trying really hard to keep his pace low. 

His thumb stroked her cheek, his eyes still holding hers. Usually they would be kissing each other's necks or he would aim his attention to her breasts, but the only body part that was moving now were his hips, with which he pushed himself deeper inside her and took distance again. 

It surely had its impact. In her lower regions something was building up, something that was impatiently awaiting every movement. Her mouth felt dry. She restrained the urge to bury her nails in his flesh, although she did bent her knees a little more so he could slide deeper.