Who Falls

The Golf War

Dipper Pines and Waddles are sitting on the couch watching television and eating cereal. Clara was out for the day.

The Doctor is on the table sipping tea with avid thoughts of not-so-long-ago "adventures" with the Pines Family: adopting a candy monster, Dipper's unwittingly attempts to get both Doc and Stan to reveal the past, the so-called "ominous mailbox", twins' experiences with dealing accidental secrets, a giant monster in the lake, some things from the past in the woods, advice on dating, fun with stickers, fashion, blinding Stan with color-that took awhile to help him, artistic stuff with felines, fixing stuff with Soos-twice, rescuing Wendy from "trouble", busting in to watch movies, and freed a mutant cow.

The Doctor sighs. He wonders.

How much time must pass before Stan reveals the secret, or will the one-eyed fiend take an advantage one of them? ...Did Soos fix the computer nice and neat yet?

Stan enters with a pan with a pancake, "Who wants Stan-cakes? They're like pancakes, but they probably have some of my hair in 'em."

"Pass!" Dipper exclaims.

Mabel bursts through the door giddily with a newspaper in hand, "It's here!"

The Doctor chuckles, "Whoa! Mabel! Settle in for awhile, what's here?" He jovially adds.

"Aaah! Oh, it's here! It's here, it's here! I've been waiting all morning and it's finally here! The Gravity Falls Gossiper accepted my article about summer fashion tips for squirrels. My picture is gonna be in the newspaper! Check it!"

The Doctor questioningly reads, "Ms. Northwest declares v-neck the look of the season?" as he quirks an eyebrow familiarly.

"Woah, woah, WHAT?!" as Mabel looks at the newspaper.

The newspaper reads "GREATEST THING OF THE SUMMER!", and shows a portrait of Pacifica Northwest, with the caption "PACIFICA NORTHWEST."

Dipper looks at the newspaper, "Looks like someone bought their way to the front page."

Stan funnily asks at the newspaper, "Is it legal for a child to wear that much make-up?"

Mabel groans, "Ugh, Pacifica! She always ruins everything!"

"Aw, cheer up Mabel! I mean, no one even reads newspapers anymore." Dipper adding in as he tries to help.

Soos walks in. "Dudes! V-neck season is upon us! Who wants to help me get ahead of the fashion curve? I'm taking it one step further." As he holds up a pair of scissors and a marker. "With a w-neck!"

Soos draws a construction line for a "w" and cuts along the lines, "Must... follow... newspaper..."

Mabel glumly runs over to the nearby table and furiously pours herself a glass of orange juice, which she gulps down. "Aack! I need something to get my mind off this."

The Doctor scratches his head-then remembers something about this town...

"Looking for a distraction from your horrible life?" The Doctor asks pouting Mabel.

"Why yes!"

The Doctor then somewhat struts upon the table, "Victory, honor, destiny, mutton! These old-timey sounding words are alive and well at the "Gravity Falls Royal Discount Putt Hutt" with an exclamation point! Although there are no mutton available at the snack shop!" He then waved.

As he flays his arms at amazed Mabel, he accidentally dropped his note cards; with a statement saying he got it from the TV earlier.

Dipper then brightens, "Hey, Mabel! You love mini-golf!" As he pulls out Mabel's scrapbook with a picture of Mabel winning a trophy at a minor league gold competition with the caption "AGE 9".