Chapter Forty-Seven

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My eyes sprung open.

'waaaaah, waaaaah' I heard Barbra crying on the baby monitor.

'Justin. Baby. Now' I groaned.

He didn't even stir. I looked at the clock, 3 am. Yay.

'Urrrgh' I dragged my ass out of bed and walked along to Barbara’s room.

'Hey, you beautiful yet ear splittingly loud piece of plastic' I said softly as I picked her up and walked down stairs bouncing her up and down. She just got louder.

I put her down on the changing table. hesitantly I peeled the Diaper back.

I stepped back, 'Barbra! How can so much fake shit, come out of such a little piece of plastic?!' I groaned quietly as I changed he and dressed her in a little dress, legging and booties.

Not once did she stop crying. 'Barbra Bieber-Fraser you will be the death of me' I hissed as I put formula in a bottle and fed her it. She stopped crying long enough to drink it and throw up a little all over me, but then she was straight back to crying. I spent 2 hours pacing the apartment with her in my arms before checking the 'baby book' known to sane people as the baby manual. I flicked through to crying as I rocked Barbie in her little swing chair.

I read through it. I tried tickling her tummy, rubbing her back, singing to her, give her a dummy I even did the stupid yoga routine! But nothing. I read that last paragraph as I wiped more baby sick from her dress.

'If your baby is still crying after trying all of these methods it is most likely that it has Collic. This is caused by not feeding the baby a diet of both solids and formula, and results in a 24 period of near constant crying and spontaneous throwing up. Enjoy Mommy'

I almost ripped the manual in half. What plank programmes that into a doll! A doll which I so stupidly vowed not to turn off for a week. I looked down at her crying face, weirdly I felt sorry for her. I left her swinging in her chair and ran over to heat up a jar of strained peaches.

I tried to feed it to her but she got it all over the place. Weirdly I found it funny that she wouldn't eat it and that it ended up all over me.

'Barbra, look at Mommy' I smiled and tasted the food. It was actually pretty good. I ended up finishing the Jar.

'Molly... What you doing eating the baby food?' Justin tilted his Head and asked me slowly, shouting a little over the siren that was our daughter.

'It's actually pretty good!' I laughed, picking up Barbra and shaking her a little.

'You look terrible! He shouted over her, oh god she was reaching full volume again.

'Love you too honey!' I shouted back sarcastically as I bounced her up and down.

'What is wrong with her?!' he shouted taking her from me and bouncing her up and down.

'collic' I shouted back, taking a wet wipe. 'she's been up since 3 with it!' I looked at the clock it was now 10 am, I had been up with her for 7 hours.

'collic? What's that?!' he shouted, doing the shaking from side to side thing.

'It basically means she'll cry a lot, loudly, for 24 hours' I grinned sarcastically.

'No wa-' he was cut off as Barbra threw up all over him. And we're not just talking a little, we're talking little baby fountain of sick.

'Oh yeah, she'll do that too!' I shouted as she finished throwing up. 'look I bought some rusks, the manual says if we just feed her on them today, it should help' I sighed walking up the stairs.

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