30-Day Plan

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Tin knocked on Can's door.

"Can, breakfast is ready."

There was no response so he tried turning the door knob to see if it was open.

Fortunately, it was.

Can's curled up figure on the bed was the first thing he saw as soon as he opened the door. He slowly closed it, careful not to wake up the sleeping teen.

He crouched down near Can's bed to watch Can sleeping while hugging Charmander. It was as if Can cried himself to sleep.

After leaving Can on the beach last night, Tin immediately isolated himself in his room to finally let out his emotions of sadness and despair.

Was his 30-day plan a wrong decision after all?

"I love you so much that I am afraid."

He remembered Can's fear of loving him. He cannot understand how he could not notice Can's insecurities and obstacle of having to deal of what people thought.

He knew Can as a person who never cared what other people might think.

"I am scared! I am scared, okay?"

Why could he not see Can struggling before? Was he so blind that he did not see Can was struggling?

He did notice.

But he believed Can when he said that everything is okay.

"This is my first time falling in love and I am so scared. I am scared of not being enough. I am scared of my feelings. I am scared of being selfish. I am scared that I might mess up everything. I am scared of myself."

He did not look past the smile that tried to hide the fear and insecurity.

He reached out his hand to ruffle Can's hair as usual but it was as if cold water was poured to him that made him stop.

"Please let me fix myself and have a time alone and just think things through."

Is Tin not an easy person to love?

He only receives rejection. A rejection from the person that mattered most is the most painful.

It might seem that he held on to Can because he was afraid of being alone.

He might be afraid of being alone but that wasn't the reason. He truly loved Can despite all the flaws that Can was insecured about.

He did not look past Can's flaws. But rather he looked at his flaws and still find Can the most precious person for him.

"I want to fix myself, Tin."

Despite how Can cried last night, there was a shine of hidden determination among the pain and sadness in Can's eyes.

The person he loves wants to be better for Tin's sake. Somehow, he was able to influence and affect Can.

This shows that he mattered to Can. He is that important to him that the love Can had for him is enough for him to let Tin go.

"I promised to protect you. And if staying away from you is the only way to do that, then I will."

"I don't want the best if it's not you," Tin said softly at the sleeping Can.

"I was never like this until I met you. For the first time in my life, I want to be the best. I want to be better and not stay mediocre."

He leaned his head on the edge of Can's bed as he squats down the floor.