Here it is.
An ending to something that I desperately tried to have.
Why me?
Why was I cursed to have this unending pain and sadness?
Even today on my birthday I can't seem to escape this pain.
Like there's this deep thing inside of my body that persistently tells me to cry.
I'm not sure I understand why things are the way that they are, but I know that this is not a way to live.
I used to want to walk the earth as a white prophet when I realized that people work to make profit.
Nobody wants a reality that bends to our will and so it only makes sense I'm depressed because of it.
I'm like the black sheep of the white herd where nobody cares to be heard except when someone dies or they feel obligated to sit at the front of the bus.
I have this failure to be happy because nobody really cares about how I truly feel.
They assume I'm this perfect guy with a perfect smile, when I learned how to put on this mask to hide the true feelings that reside.
I wonder if my failure is your success.
Maybe the more I fail, the more you progress.
I still think too much about what could have been, especially with the past couple of years.
I should have been put away, I should have actually killed myself and yet here I am.
It's so strange to recognize my failure as a human being, and yet I still consider myself human.
Maybe I don't deserve that.
Just like I don't deserve to be happy.
YOU ARE READING
Dreams Over Reality
PoetryA compliation of poems and skits. The skits are no longer being continued. Most poems are about me and the events around me. Read my story This is my story.
