Dreams Over Reality

2/5 - Close To Home

Hey
How ya been?
I been playing shit close to the heart and protected from the wind
But
We both know there's no reason to play pretend.
You got what you asked for
A broken heart and no reason for an encore
Right?
My life don't mean shit to you
Stop lying
All the overthinking really came true
Stop trying.
I know you didn't want that future with me
And yet you're the one who told me it was meant to be, right?
So now my life's on a timer and it's counting down every second of the day
But fuck it
I know there really ain't much to say
It's a ruckus.
You can't care anymore
I see you're doing well for yourself and you don't need me anymore
So stop having one foot stuck between the door.
You're either here or you're not
And I know you're not.
I still find a picture in my photos of you even thought I got them all
And it fucking sucks because all it makes me want to do is call.
But I can't do it because you don't want me around and yet you keep telling me you do
But I know it's all just lies that you and I both knew.
So why try keeping me around when you know you don't want me there
Told me you were mine and I was yours and never intended to share
But I see you cuddled up in another lair
And sends a pit in my stomach and glides my heart into despair.
I guess it's what I deserve
It's like I'm the one with the nerve
But all I ever wanted to do was serve
You and yet somehow you and I both suddenly had to turn
Into strangers.
I'm better off dead, I know
One bullet in the head, a show
To let the world really know
That I'm not okay and I'm not gonna beg to stay no more.
I'm done with sharing how I feel and turning all relationships and friendships to shit
I'm tired of it
Tired of making myself fall into a pit
Of darkness.
This darkness I can't escape this time so I'm not coming back
I'm derailing from the track
Hanging my body from the ceiling of the shack
And my life finally drains from my body so I can no longer lack
The need to stay alive.
I'm leaving and though I promised, maybe we should say goodbye
Though I can't tell you directly and I don't wanna tell you why
So don't try
I guess you could say I'm shy.
But there's no prying in the world that could get me to tell you what happens at the end of the year
It brings me a tear
But the end is near
The chapter is closing for you and you gotta leave it in the rear.
Have a good life.