I'm violently lost.
Not normally lost in the thought of the night sky.
I'm lost in the thoughts I have been forced to bear in an over-world filled with discontent.
But I am alone.
Never to be seen.
Never to be remembered.
Like each night I shuffle this deck of choices and pick out the most random to have the magician known as life pull out another card and force it into my destiny.
But
I
Am
Fulfilled.
I am apparently stuck at a fault once again.
The deck was reshuffled and pulled, yet again, another card for me to finally be free and yet
I
Am
Not.
But oh please can you shuffle the deck to where I can fully be seen as who I can truly be?
No.
He tells me
No.
The man breaks my will once again and over and over as if I'm lost deeper than before.
Holy night seems like an unholy desire to finally be fulfilled.
It's a wild goose chase to find the right tarot cards that will finally give me the freedom to look the magician in the eyes and say
Go
Away.
But I can't seem to find this mysterious Gypsy.
Someone
Help
Me.
Once again I'm violently lost in an array of emotions that I can't seem to forget as if I'm constantly fighting to end up in the same place I'm trying to leave.
I'm stuck.
Staring blindly into the stars and looking for the card that leads me back to you or at least another safe place that isn't cast away.
I'm sorry.
Not for being so deep or trying to escape my demons but for being the one to pay the magician to make it harder to push me in your direction.
I'm the demon in my dreams and the opposing fate that seems to be breaking through the walls of my mind and forcing me to hate the life I'm brought to desire.
I must ask you one thing.
Can you shuffle these cards one last time?
Not to give me another chance but to finally be in control of a life that isn't meant to be alive and yet
I am.
أنت تقرأ
Dreams Over Reality
الشعرA compliation of poems and skits. The skits are no longer being continued. Most poems are about me and the events around me. Read my story This is my story.
