From My Enemy To My Love (boyxboy) ✔

Chapter 20

Chet Watakeekul

I couldn't let Vincent go in that condition. When he unlocked his car, I immediately got into the passenger side as he got into the driver's side.

"Get out," he heaved between labored breaths. His voice sounded strange as if he was choking. One large hand was placed over his chest. Beads of sweat dotted his forehead and yet I could clearly see the goosebumps on his neck and forearms.

"No," I said.

The light by the rearview mirror slowly dimmed and went out completely. We were cascaded in darkness.

"Out!" he demanded.

"No!" I replied.

"Please." He said softly. There was so much pain in his voice. I wondered if he had ever let anyone see this side of him. My eyes quickly adjusted to the darkness.

"I can't," I said quietly.

His breathing got worse. Everytime he gasped for breath there was a slight whistle to it. "Why?" he gasped.

"Because you are clearly not okay. You weren't before with Mateo, and you especially aren't after that phone call. Who was it? What did they say to you?"

He wheezed and rubbed his trembling hand over his chest.

"Someone has been lying to you and I hate lies more than anything," I said. "Someone has been telling you for a long time that you can't trust people and they are wrong. Is that what the person on the phone told you? That people are just out to use you? That they are just out for your money? What did they say to you to put you in this state?"

His eyelids pinched closed. "It's all wrong," his voice cracked. "I'm wrong. It's disgusting. Everything. Disgusting." The way he said disgusting - the intonation and inflections - it didn't sound like him. He had said it before, but now I knew it wasn't him. It sounded like he was repeating it the exact way someone else said it. "People use and are used. Nothing is real. I shouldn't be here. I shouldn't exist."

His hands were visibly shaking. The one was still pressed over his heart. His other hand practically vibrated as he brought it up to cover his closed eyes. A tear trickled down beyond his hand and down his cheek. It clinged to his chin for a moment before it fell onto his shirt.

I grabbed both of his wrists and pulled them away from his body. His eyes flashed open. Gold pooled with liquid. He tried to pull his wrists away, but in this moment he was weak and I wouldn't let him.

My gaze held his. "Whoever told you this is a liar," I said. He started to shake his head in protest to my words. "They are lying. Not every person in the world wants to use you and you definitely should exist."

He shook his head. He didn't believe me. I dropped his wrists and wrapped my arms around him in a hug.

"I give this to you just as a human being to another human being," I said quietly. "I don't want anything in return. I just want to give you my warmth, my sincerity in this moment that I want only good things for you with nothing in return."

His entire body trembled in my arms. His chest expanded and contracted with every labored breath. He put his forehead on the top of my shoulder and I could feel the wetness as his tears fell onto my shirt.

We stayed that way - his forehead on the top of my shoulder, my arms around him - for a long time. I stroked his hair like my mom did for me whenever I was upset. His frantic breathing slowed. His trembling body stilled. I thought it might be time for me to pull away now that he was calm, but Vincent surprised me. His long arms slowly wrapped around me. I hadn't expected this. I hadn't expected to get warmth for warmth. I couldn't pull away now. I held him tighter.