A Mistake | Minjoon/Nammin

Goodbye Youth

I patiently waited for Namjoon at a cafe.

I begged my mom to let me drive back to school to see my friends "one last time" before I started school.

Truth was I came back so I could have a word with Namjoon.

I simply texted him:

Meet me at La Rosa Cafe.

I wasn't waiting for rejection. I knew Namjoon couldn't say no. He just couldn't.

So I sat and waited for him to get out of school since I had yet to start attending the my new school.

-
It's been an hour and I'm still here.

But it's okay because it's Namjoon.

-
It's been an other hour making two hours of waiting for Namjoon.

-

Are you okay?

Sorry to keep you waiting, I'm just nervous I'll be there soon.

I threw my phone on the table and drank my 2nd coffee. I don't even like coffee that much yet here I am.

"H-hey..." I looked up and saw a sweaty Namjoon. "S-sit." I gestured my hand over to the chair. "So what is it?" Namjoon asked fidgeting in his seat. "Do y-you have somewhere t-to be?"

Namjoon shook his head, "I just don't want to regret what I'm going to do."

"W-well I just wanted to a-ask..." I pulled out our rings. "W-why haven't we d-dated yet?" He sighed rubbed his head. "Because I'm a mess Jimin, I'm not the best for you."

"B-but you are." I said while getting riled up. "Jimin, why can't you see what I see? We're not making each other better."

"Y-Yes we have our i-issues but..." I bit my lip. "But what? You love me? What do you want me to do? Stay? I can't do that."

"W-why?"

"You need to be selfish Jimin, you need to think about yourself please. All this time I've been selfish, so please just this once you be selfish..." Namjoon said while giving me a look a plead.

"N-no." Namjoon looked away and breathed in heavily.

"What's with that stupid stutter huh?" I felt my lips quiver. "N-Namjoon-"

"I heard you tried to hook up with Dean, yet you say you love me so what the fuck is up with that?

"L-let me e-explain-"

"Well since we're hooking up with people..." Namjoon bit his lip almost like he was holding back. "I has sex with Jennie."

"No, J-jungkook told me that y-you o-only stuck b-by her to h-hide that she l-likes g-girls..." Namjoon laughed, "You believe someone who kidnapped you? How fucking pathetic are you?"

I began to cry.

"Y-you're being m-mean to push m-me away", I said in between my sobs. "Park Jimin, how do you always see right through me." Namjoon held my hand and wiped my tears with the other.

"Jimin, we should stop talking."

"W-WHY!"

"Let's wait until we meet again, maybe after college?"

"I-is that what y-you want?"

"Yes."

I cried out more, I wanted Namjoon now.

"O-okay I u-understand." I let go of his hand wishing I could hold onto it until the end of time.

"B-bye."

I was selfish for once.

It was a small step.

Because instead of me watching Namjoon leave, Namjoon had to see me walk away.

Namjoon's P.O.V.

"There he goes..." I felt my eyes finally release the pain within my heart.

For once he was the one walking away.

But this is what I asked for.

I watched him until he became a small dot that eventually disappeared.

It's okay I know what I'm doing.

I told him four years knowing he'd put the pieces together himself.

That I would want to focus on myself. Yet that's not true at all.

I'm hoping in these four years he finds someone who actually loves him, and benefits him.

I'm hoping in these four years he forgets me.

I'm hoping we never meet again.