Every time you make a move

Kintsugi-part 1

She babbled as she started arranging the building blocks.

Twenty minutes dragged on, and throughout that time Freddie longingly glanced towards his piano, thinking about how he could make better use of his time.

He murmured, "Tell daddy how many building blocks you're holding."

She looked at the fistfuls of blocks in her hand and hesitantly counted, "...Won... tewww... fweeeeee..."

"How many, darling?" he repeated. "Show daddy your counting."

"Faw... an' fiiiive!"

He giggled and clapped as she smiled proudly.

"You building something?"  He shuffled a little closer, asking for the purpose of sitting cross legged and watching her go back and forth.

She nodded, handing him the soft lion toy.

"You building lion a house?" He asked.

She nodded, "Pheebs plays the lion."

"Oh he does, does he?" He rubbed his eyes tiredly, craving another nicotine fix, before he sighed and collected more pieces to help his daughter assemble the lion's den.

He was saved by the ring of the telephone...for now.

He sighed and got up, "Keep on playing, love. That's probably mummy."

"Ma!" She got up.

"No no, you stay... someone has to keep building the house, alright?" he signalled her not to move, and she obediently sat back down as he made his way to the nearest phone.

He went out to the hall and picked the headpiece up, "hello?"

"Hey, it's me" Monica's voice sounded on the other end.

"Monica? Oh dear, how was it?"

"All is well, doctor says we there's no need to come back. It has finally fully healed and now I have the cast cut in half and ready to take home for the memory box."

"Oh, thank god!" he sighed in relief.

"He's going to need a few physio sessions to walk on it again because he is limping, but that shouldn't be an issue."

Freddie thought he'd heard footsteps, but then returned to the receiver, "So what are you going to do now then?"

"I'm stopping off at the shop on the way back, want anything?"

"Come to think of it," he smiled to himself. "Why don't you get us all a little treat to celebrate tonight-"

He was interrupted when he heard a brief shatter in the other room.

He froze and dropped the phone, watching the cat that Roshni was previously chasing around the house rush out of the doorway into the sitting room.

"Freddie? Hello? Did you want anything?!" Monica asked on the other end.

But Freddie was already making his way over to inspect the scene.

He was met with the sight of his 19th century Meiji period vase that he'd spent a fortune bidding on at an auction in Tokyo in the late 1970s, in smithereens beside its toppled-over stand, and he felt his blood bubbling.

His chilling eyes instantly darted to the culprit, timidly standing away from her spot on the play mat and next to the mess.

"YOU BROKE MY VASE!" He marched over and roared, bending down and gathering up the pieces. "I TOLD YOU TO STAY PUT!"

Roshni's lips trembled and her eyes began to fill with tears.

"The only fucking valuable thing in this whole room and you had to break it..." he muttered, ignoring her and gingerly collecting the fragments.

It wasn't until she started wailing immediately after that the remorse hit.

"Oh fuck..." he thought, dropping what was in his hands.

"Oh Roshni, I'm-I... Daddy didn't mean to..." he blubbered, crawling over to her.

She let out a deafening scream and backed away from him, absolutely distraught and petrified.

"Roshni!" he helplessly pleaded in a hushed tone as he felt his throat tighten, his arms reaching out to her. "Please come to-"

"Noohhh! Noooo!" She sobbed as she curled up tighter in the corner, her small hands protectively on her head. He found her red, wet face scrunched up in despair and covered by her little fingers, terrified whimpers and the way she frantically shuffled further and further away from him an excruciating sight.

She sobbed and slithered underneath the settee for closure. He wanted to fish her out, but instead he turned away and slowly stood back up as tears of regret streamed down his cheeks. He didn't want to look into those fearful, hurt blue eyes any longer. He wanted to make her stop crying but she wasn't letting him an inch closer, screaming in a hysterical panic and shielding her head with her elbows.

"Oh fuck... you selfish fool... you monster," he thought to himself as his eyes grew blurry, storming through the hall. "You're always going to be hopeless at this father business."

He rushed out the door and into the garden for some fresh, icy air, wiping tears off his face as he paced back and forth at an absolute loss.

To be continued...