RE-UNITED: The New Chapter

You Wanted to Talk? Then Let's Talk

Dani's POV

I am not ready to die right now.

Literally, I regret it. I regret why did I write about everything in my frickin journal? But I can't go back and blame myself either. I have no one to share about my problems, that is why I keep writing in my journals. Pouring all of my feelings into it. I need to let my emotions out, and the journals are the only way. I can't talk about all of my problems to Lauren or Amy, because I know that they're already have their owns issues. So why would I want to add another burden on their shoulders? No way.

I never had any single thought that my sisters would find out about my issues. I never had any single thought that my sisters will be reading all of my journals. And I never had any thought that they will talk about it with me. I am not ready for this. If its Amy or Lisa, it's okay. I still could makes reasons up, and they will understand. They will not giving me pressure about it. but when it comes to Kath or Christina. I know that it will never have a happy ending. And I couldn't lie to them. Katherine might be a smiley one and the most wise person in our family, but there's something in her that makes me feel like I have no guts. Believe me, I can fight about everything with her, but once she put her serious expression, and don't accept no, then it's something that I can't argue on.

I still have huge respects to my older sisters, mostly Christina and Katherine. This rebelious side of me will just disappear whenever I have huge problems and they found out about it. this is the worst part. Like I don't have any excuses to shielding all of my issues. Like I can't say anything to them to defend myself when I know that I'm wrong.

Now is the time when I know that the end of me is coming. If Katherine is already know about my wrist and stuff, then Chris must have know about it too, or she's about to know about it. I am officially dead if Christina want to talk to me later. Believe me, Christina is way more scary than anyone in this earth.

"Danielle!" I jumped when Kath is yelling out my name. "Huh?" I said with confused face. I wasn't paying attention to whatever she said before she brought me back to reality.

"I called you four times. What happened back there?" she asked, looking at me through the mirror. I could tell you that she's a bit worry. "Uhm, nothing. My mind just flew away."

Katherine is sighing, and then I look at Amy. She still have wet tears on her cheeks. She's looking at me with worried look. She knows that my turn is about to come. And I do know it too. I give her a smile, try to tell her that I'm okay, even when I know she won't buy it. Amy is the first person who found out about the cuts. So she knows about whats gonna happen.

"I want to talk about your journals, Dan." Kath said with a strong voice. A very different tone between when she asked Amy and now asking me. "Yeah, I know." I said, squeaking. I look at the sky, through the window. I'm playing with my fingers, a sign that I'm feeling so scared and nervous right now. My biggest secret is going to be exposed.

"What happened to you? I had never read something that makes me feel hurt so bad more than your journals." She said, but theres something different in her voice. No, its not like soft, but it was more like sad, upset, worried, and mad. "What happened, Danielle? I know that you're wounded. I know that you did it by yourself. But, why? What makes you did that?"

Now I could hear her sob. "Is it because those kids? or mom and dad? Or anything else?"

I feel tears on my cheeks right now. I don't even feel them came out of my eyes. I feel like I used to feel the pain until I didn't realize that my tears are out of my eyes. This is so painful. I really don't want to talk about this, but I know that there is no way I could get away from this conversation. "You don't understand, Kath." I said with a straight voice. I didn't believe either that my voice were not sounds like breaking. "It's because of everything. This is so painful for me."

For a couple minutes, the car is going in silent. Theres no one talking. Then without I realizing it, I begin to speak. "It's because of everything. It started when Christina left. Then you joined her. And then Lisa was left too. My heart was already broken at that time. I almost certain that my heart is way too broken until I feel like there was no other huge pieces to get broken anymore. But then I was wrong. Mom and dad started to beating Lauren and Amy up. At first, I don't know what am I supposed to do. But I did my best to protect them anyway, and unfortunately, it didn't make mom and dad stopped. They started to beat me and my other two older sisters up."

I wiped out my tears, then looking straight to the mirror, to meet Katherine's eyes. "You know, Kath? almost everynight I'm hoping that one of you will come and take us out from that house. But it was only hope. You were never come back, and I lost hope either. To be honest, I hate all of you. You left me, Lauren, and Amy with scars in every single day. Once I lost hope, I lost all of my respect to all of you. It's okay if you want to say that I don't understand, because the truth is I really don't. What do you expect from a 13 year old girl who knows nothing, then suddenly her beloved and respected three oldest sisters left her without saying their reasons or even a nice goodbye?"

Remember when I said that I'm not ready? Forget it. I will tell her about all of my feelings right now, right here. Even if this will take the entire journey to Sacramento. I don't care. She wanted to talk about this, so then let's talk.

HELLOOO GUUUYSS WHATS UPPPPPPP!!!!! Its been a long frickin time since the last update hahah, or not that long, but i still feel like its a long time ago smhh

and tell me what do you think abou this chapter okaaaay! i need ur opinions plssss

and i might be publishing another story soon, you will find outt hahahhh!!! and im so excited about it!

also, the girls cover of thank u, next is wooooow. tbh i dont really like that song, but its cimorelli. their covers are always beautiful. this happened when u love the artist, u will love every song they sang lmao.

TELL ME WDYT OKK AND REP TOUR IS COMING, AND LAUREN'S SONG TITLED RUNNING IS COOMINGGG OMMGGGGGG LIKE THIS YEAR IS COULDNT GET ANY BETTER!!!!!!!!!!1 IM SO FRICKIN EXCITEEED U GUYS OMG UNBELIEVEABLE!!!!

see ya later duds!