The Substitute Teacher

Part 67 ~ Breaking Your Own Heart

Finally home . . 

I throw my jacket on the couch . .

The glass doors are open? . . why are they open? it's too late for Ariana to be sitting out there. I look down the hallway and a strange feeling suddenly comes over me . . there's no one there but I feel like something isn't quite right here . . . The light in our bedroom is on, so I guess Ariana is reading or something. I check on little Ricky and make sure everything's ok with him . . he's sleeping peacefully, holding his little superman doll. 

Huh? . . what is that noise? 

I walk out to the livingroom . . Carli? what is Carli doing here?? she literally pushes me out of her way, crying. . . Ok? . . . what the hell was that all about?! She storms out, slamming the door. What the heck? why is she so mad? what is going on here? . . I walk out to the patio . . empty champagne bottles . . looks like the girls had a little party here . .

I walk into our bedroom . . Ariana is sitting on the bed, looking out the window.

"Hi babe . . . Is everything ok?" 

She lets out a scream. "Oh my god Michael, you scared me to death!!"

"Ummm . . are you alright? you seem a little stressed. ."

She gets up and almost falls. . . I think I know what's going on here . . Carli's and Ariana's girl's night ended in a fight . . they had too much champangne and now they're angry at each other for whatever reason . . and they're drunk, too . . . which explains why Carli stormed out of here crying . .

"Carli just left, huh? . . did you two get into a fight?"

"No . . . I mean . . yes . . ."

"Yes or no? . . . look at me, babe . . do you wanna talk to me about it?"


~ Ariana's point of view ~ 

Oh my god . . I can't believe this . .

Michael is looking at me with these tired, gorgeous brown eyes that I love so much . . seeing his face feels amazing right now . . but I don't feel amazing at all . . I feel like a piece of crap . . . what have I done?

Cameron . . Carli . . it all happened so fast! . . I remember going to the bathroom and checking on little Ricky . . and then there was Cameron . . and I . . us together in the hallway! . . I feel sick . . Cameron was in this bedroom with me . . on this bed . . while Carli was sitting alone out on the patio, waiting . . how did Cameron and I end up in this bedroom? . . I don't remember . . . it all happened so fast . . . we kissed and touched . . .

What have I done? 

What the hell got into me? how could I have let this happen?? . . Carli walked in on us . . she walked in on Cameron on top of me!! . . and I'm glad she did . . who knows what else could've happened between us . . . I stopped him right away and told him to leave . . Carli went back out on the patio and cried her eyes out. . . 

After Cameron left, I tried to explain to Carli that I had no control over what I was doing . . that it wasn't my intention to do anything with Cameron . . it just happened . . and she threw all kinds of words at me . . . words you don't wanna hear from your best friend. . 

I ended up sitting alone in the bedroom while she was out on the patio texting me all kinds of things . . . she didn't call me a whore or anything . . she just kept texting me how disappointed she is in me and how I have betrayed her . . all that stuff. I texted her back and told her that I'm sorry . . . I didn't mean to do it . . I feel terrible about it!! . . of course I do . . . I'm MARRIED. . . I f*cking cheated on my husband . .

She sent me one last text message saying that she's leaving . . and a few seconds later, I heard the door slamming. . . I feel terrible . . . I can't believe I let Cameron kiss me like that . . why didn't I just push him away? why couldn't I have just . . ugh . . I hate myself!. This could be the end of our relationship. . the end of our marriage . . how am I ever going to explain this to Michael? . . . I simply can't.
______________

It's 3:40am . . I'm still wide awake thinking about what happened. I can't sleep. I turn on my bedside lamp and look at my ring. . . . I love Michael . . I love him to pieces . . . what have I done?

"Ariana? . . what are you still doing up? . . please go to sleep, it's late"

"I can't . . . I can't sleep . . i need to take a walk or somehting. ."

"A walk? it's 4am . . . make yourself a hot chocolate or something. ."

"Yea . . good idea . . . I'll do that . . sorry for waking you up, baby . . ."

I need someone to talk to . . someone other than Michael. . but the person I need to talk to the most hates my guts right now. . I enjoy a hot chocolate and drift off to sleep on the couch in the livingroom. I couldn't sleep next to Michael right now . . . my conscience is ripping me apart.


~ Michael's point of view ~ 
NEXT DAY . . .

I just took a shower and made myself a cup of coffee. Ariana fell asleep on the couch last night . . she never came back to bed . . she must be really upset about the fight with Carli . . I understand, I mean, she's her best friend . . . I hope this fight will be over soon . . I don't want her to feel so down, I hate looking at her sad face . . my girl looks so much prettier when she's smiling.

"Your mommy is coming back today, are you excited, Ricky?"

"Yaaay!! I'm very excited!! I can't wait! I'm going to make her a drawing!! can I make her a drawing, uncle Michael?"

"Of course you can . . that's a great idea! your mommy is gonna be so happy!"

I'm preparing breakfast for all of us . . Ariana locked herself in the bathroom just now . . she never does that. I hope she's ok . . . maybe I should get her something nice from the mall . . a little chocolate cake or flowers . . something to cheer her up a little.

"Uncle Michael?"

"Yes Ricky?"

"Who was that man yesterday? and what was he doing here?"

"What man, Ricky?"

"The man on the patio with Ariana . . they were laughing so loud, I woke up and couldn't go back to sleep. . the window was open, I wanted to close it but I couldn't reach it"

"Wait a minute, Ricky . . . a man was here yesterday? . . at night?"

"Yes . . he was very tall :)"

"Are you sure this really happened or did you have a dream?"

"No . . my spiderman doll and I were wide awake"

"What did this man look like? . . do you remember?"

"No I don't remember. . . . I need to go pee"

Ricky puts the crayon on the paper and rushes to the bathroom . . someone else was here yesterday night? . . a man? . . a tall man? . . does Carli have a boyfriend? . . or did Ariana and Carli invite some dude over here while I was gone?

I sit down at the kitchen counter and think about yesterday night . . . I did have a lot to drink but I do remember Ariana calling me and telling me to enjoy my night . . . she said she'll be asleep by the time I get home . . . but she wasn't . . . I remember our phone conversation . . she said something like: 

". . . stay out as long as you like. . this is your night with the guys . . I want you to enjoy it to the fullest, alright? don't worry about me, I'll be dead asleep by the time you get home. . ."

She said something like that . .

I'm a little confused here. I need to talk to her. 


~ Ariana's point of view ~ 

I'm bending over the toilet, throwing up like crazy . . I feel so horrible . . It's my conscience! I know it is! or is it the alcohol in my system? I have no idea . . . all I know is, keeping this from Michael makes me feel sick to my stomach . . 

(knock on the door)

"Ariana? . . are you still in here?"

". . . yea. . . I'm gonna need another minute . . "

"Please open the door, I wanna talk to you"

"Honey, I can't . . . I really can't right now . . ."

"Ariana. . I wanna know everything that happened yesterday night here in this house! . . I heard something and I wanna know from you if it's true . ."

OH MY GOD . . . Did Carli call here and tell Michael about last night? . . wow . . I can't believe her! she has every right to be mad at me but really?!! how can she do that to me? how can she tell Michael?? I get down on my knees and start crying . . this is it . . I f*cked up.

Michael keeps knocking . . . "Please open the door!"

I open the door with tears streaming down my face. .

"Honey . . please let me explain! . . please . . it's not what you think!!"

". . . What?"

"I didn't mean to do it! ok? . . I love you . . I love you more than anything on this planet!! you must believe me that I didn't want to invite him at first . . . but Carli made me! . . she really did! she wanted to see him so bad, so I caved in and invited him after all . . . . I had too much to drink and I . . it just . . it just happened and I . . he said he wasn't interested in her, he said he felt a connection between me and him . . I told him no and everything . . but . . it happened somehow . . he told me he was more interested in me . . . I had no control, didn't know what to do, I was so drunk . . I'm so sorry honey . . I should've told you yesterday, I know, but I couldn't . . . I swear to you, Cameron and I didn't have sex . . . I swear to god . ."



~ to be continued ~