Making it Another Day <3 (A Louis Tomlinson FanFic)

Connections <3 (Chapter 14)

Ahhhhhh! Don't cry when you read this!

Thank you for all your tremendous support! :)

Chapter 14- Connections

            Christa-
           

            It was never an easy feat, waking up, knowing that another day had passed and that I was still alone here in KureBeach. I still hadn't found a really close friend here; and of course, the friends I thought I'd had we're long gone.
            I had Kendra. I had Holden and Emma, and of course my mother. But what good was a phone call to them, when I couldn't see their smiling faces? When I couldn't hug them in sorrow or kiss them in excitement?
            I slung my legs over the side of the bed and yawned, my vision adjusting to the bright morning light coming through the bedroom windows. Another day, another dollar, I thought. I'll need to be in a chipper mood for work, regardless of how I really feel inside.
            Before standing up from my bed, I remembered to pray and thank God for another day of breath. Never mind how I felt about it, God had me placed here for a reason. I needed to thank Him for his simple blessing of life itself. 
            Dear Lord, I prayed. Thank you for this day, and thank you for all you've done for me. Please help me to have peace and safety today and work, and help my troubled heart. In Jesus' name, Amen.
            Feeling His peace wash over me, I grabbed my bright red suit and stepped into the shower quickly, knowing that a long shower would only give me more time to think. I knew now that time to myself only led to sad thoughts for me, so I'd been avoiding quiet time as much as possible.
            After my refreshing shower, I snagged my beach bag from the counter and left the house for work, foregoing breakfast for today.
            I dreaded the walk to the beach... It was that thinking time which had driven me crazy recently.
            I wasn't sure how to describe my feelings about the last two days. At times I felt I was moving against a current. In other moments I was just empty, unfeeling. But all the while my anger shined from inside me; I knew it when I spoke to Kendra. I knew it when my bitterness would threaten me with the slightest mishap. I knew it fully as I sat at home alone at night, with the TV on as an attempt to forget Louis. I told myself that if I pretended that he didn't exist, things would dissipate and I could move on with my vacation. 
            I was headed to college at Western soon, anyway. I figured the hurt I'd experienced would ebb away as soon as I could get my mind to focus on other things. I wasn't counting on that, however. If my feelings now were any indication, Louis would still be on my mind for quite some time.
            Being sheltered as a youngster had taught me little about what the real world was like. In the real world, you could go for years doing good and never be recognized; yet, the second you slipped up, your name would be plastered everywhere. In the real world, you could be lied to, cheated, stolen from, cursed, mocked, and even heartbroken. Most importantly, in the real world, you could be made to believe you were in love with a person, when in reality you knew so little about them.
            Only now, when faced with that ridicule and those lies, could I really see the world as it was.
            I couldn't help the bitterness toward my parents for letting me think that my vacation would be easy. They had led me to believe that living in the real world was a piece of cake. By keeping me home instead of letting me see the world's ways, I'd never truly seen the effects of a negative lifestyle. At least, that was the case until I'd found a young British lad in an alleyway only a month or two ago. 
            Sometimes I felt that too much sheltering as a young girl was what gave me an inability to fight sin now. And again, I tried to blame that on my parents. One example: if I'd only been able to see some of the harsh affects of drinking, and brought up to know the negative affects of it, I would be less likely to make the decision to drink. 
            I was angry suddenly. The fact that God had let me vacation here, only to let Louis, Harry, and Niall lie to me for weeks on end... Where was the justice in that? I'd had my little taste of freedom, and it had only broken me in pieces.
            The Lord's words stopped me in my tracks. 
            For I know the thoughts that I think towards you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you an expected end.
            It was Jeremiah 29:11- a verse of scripture that my mom had always quoted to me as a child. "God knows where you're gonna end up," she would always say. "You don't need to worry about a thing."
            God knows. He knows why the sun shines and why the oceans move. He knows the number of hairs on my head, the number of fish in the sea, even the birds in the air. He knows who will accept Him and who will reject Jesus Christ. 
            Again, that perfect peace washed over me. What if Louis and I were put together for a specific reason? It could be to reach him... To reach his friends. Who knows? But I knew that if one person was changed from it, it would be worth it in God's eyes. 
            Another place in scripture made its way to my heart. ...There is joy in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner that repenteth. I couldn't remember the exact reference for the verse, but it was in the book of Luke, when Jesus was talking about the prodigal son and his father's rejoicing at his repentance. 
            I understood this now: God was working something in someone's heart. I just didn't know who or when things would unfold. But I knew that His plan would unfold somehow, eventually. I just had to learn to trust in Him.
            I remembered songs that I used to sing in my youth choir back in Lenoir. "All heaven's rejoicing... That's the value of one..." I sang the words to my favorite youth song quietly as I took the trek down the hot sand to get ready for work. 
            With God's peace on my mind, I shed my shirt and shorts, leaving just my red bathing suit on. I lay my bag and cover up next to the lifeguard stand and climbed the small ladder to sit and guard the people.
            Much like any other day here, it was uneventful in the morning hours. I found myself watching a game of volleyball that some teenagers had started, wishing I could join in with them. Dig after dig, the dominant team crushed their opponent, and I heard protest when they were to start another game. One of the guys on the losing team wanted to switch all the teammates up.
            I smiled to myself. Of course, no one ever wants to lose. But there's a lot to learn from being defeated, and I was only just now realizing it. With God's help, I could pick myself up and brush off, and keep going on, forgetting the hurt I'd been caused.
            I stayed tuned into the game, still aware of the other beach goers. Before I knew it, it was my lunch break. My replacement took the lifeguard stand as I hopped down and headed out to eat lunch. Fast food was always an option for me, so I jogged to the nearest McDonald's and quickly ordered my meal.
            I checked my phone once I arrived at my booth. I had a message from Beth.