Hitman |n.h|

27

We drove,and drove,until I thought there would possibly be no more road left.

I was so sleepy,I still couldn't bag any sleep last night-only an hour or two the most.

Niall's chain hung perfectly around my neck,as it was hidden under a loose fitted band shirt.

I laid my head on the window as the scenery wizzed past in abnormal speed.

Niall and I haven't had any meaningful conversation since last night.

Of course,we were both hardheaded and stubborn,so the making-up part isn't going too well.

And as I laid in my little space last night,unable to sleep,another thought struck me.

I can't kill anyone.

I couldn't live with myself if I had.

And that was the point where I made my plan absolute.

I wouldn't be going any farther with Niall and the crew.

I would tell him at our next pit stop,and I'll be heading home.

My real home,in Sacramento.

To my family and friends,who think I'm dead.

As if sensing my nausea,Niall speaks;

"Ye should've gotten some sleep,last night."

I shrug.

"Couldn't."

Then it's back to silence.

It was so uncomfortable,it was choking me and making me feel lightheaded.

My head was spinning with all of my thoughts and possible outcomes to situations that I sat up and closed my eyes trying to steady my breathing.

Everything was so fast paced and I felt restricted,my chest felt like it was being squeezed to a point of no return and I screamed so loud,Niall slammed on the breaks,making us jerk forward unnaturally.

Tires screeched behind us and I fumbled out of the car and gasped for air.

I was indeed having a panic attack.

I let myself slide down to the ground to sit and rest,my vision hazy.

Everyone then came bustling over to me.

"What's wrong?-"

"Are you okay?"

"Ohmygod,Amber you're extremely pale,-"

"Get her water-!"

Everything was moving fast again and I wanted it to all stop,so I grabbed my head,as if it would all slow if I shut them out.

Then in front of me,with panic struck eyes,Niall grabbed my hands away from my face and ran his calloused hands over my face,speaking words I couldn't make out clearly.

Then someone gave him a water bottle,and he tried to give me some,but I refused it.

That's when I started to feel sleepy again,and my eyes felt so droopy.

Then,out of surprise,Niall splashed the whole bottle in my face and on my head.

I finally felt a shock my cold run through my body,and my eyes shot open widely.

"Are you alright?" Liam asks clearly now and I hold myself.

I push hands away as I try to get up and stand on my own.

I swallow and turn to my friends,all with worried faces.

"What happened?" Amy asks slowly and I close my eyes,turning away from them.

"I was having a panic attack." I say quietly and a pin drop could be heard.

"Are you okay now?" Zayn asks cautiously.

I shake my head,and turn again to them.

"No."

Niall shakes his head.

"Get in the car," he states and opens my side of the car door,motioning me to go inside.

I watch him.

"No." I repeat and the guys walk in a circle with their heads down and Amy looks on with sad eyes.

"I won't repeat myself," he seethes and I walk over to him and slam the door shut.

"I won't either."

He shoots me such a dark look,I turn away.

"I'm not going on with you guys."

They all stop and stare at me.

"What do you mean?" Liam asks surprised.

"I won't be going to New York with you guys.Im sorry."

"Stop it," Niall spits angrily and pounds on the car door.

"Get in the car right now." He seethes and I don't look at him and his outburst.

"I'm sorry for everything.That I've put you guys through,"

"Amber-" Niall shouts and I finally turn to him.

"Stop right now."

I shake my head.

"Let me go,just let me go." I say sadly and he shakes his head.

"No matter what you say,you know I can't do that.Get in the damn car-"

"Thank you for all you've done for me.I appreciate it fully and hope everything works out for you,but this isn't me.This is my stop." I say and hold back the tears.

"Don't make me do something I will regret," he says and his eyes are glassy.

"You'll always be with me,remember?" I choke and hold the pendant between my fingers,showing him.

I kiss it and let it fall to my chest in a airy fashion.

Something in him changed,the whole mood shifted.

He moved away from the car and put his hands in his pocket,and he turned without another word,walking away from us down the long,winding road.

"Niall," Zayn shouts and then follows after him.

I look at the rest of my friends and give a tight smile.

"I'll be okay," I sob and Louis runs over,embracing me.

"Don't leave this,love.Don't leave us..."

"I have to." I say and wipe my eyes.

I look at Amy and Liam.

"Tell him that I love him." I say and they hold back the building tears in their eyes,and Liam turns just in time before the water fell from his eyes.

Amy nods.

"Stay safe." She whispers warmly and I nod.

I pull away from Louis and get into the car,shifting in gear and start my drive back to Sacramento.

And I left half of my life behind me.

***

A/N

I'm emotional rn dont touch me omg

But the picture on the sidebar makes it worse ugh

Comment,share and vote my loves!

Muah xx ♡