The Grim Lost

Shadow

(Despair's P.O.V.)

The contractions were getting closer together and my hand was losing circulation. I knew Ruin didn't mean too but I was pretty sure she had already broken it. She wouldn't let go long enough for me to find out. Death attempted to get her to push but that wasn't working so well. Her words were getting jumbled up to the point where I thought she was speaking Latin. From the look on Death's face, she might've been. 

"Ruin, if you don't try, it won't trigger the numbing agent," he said. She grimaced and released my hand, instead holding on to the table beneath her. I flexed my palm, pressing my thumb into my palm to check for breakage. As soon as I knew there was none, I took Ruin's head into my lap. 

She looked up at me, "Do you love me?"

I widened my eyes, meeting her questioning gaze. It vanished with the next contraction and Death telling us that Shadow was crowning. The next hours were a blur of cutting the umbilical cord and cleaning him off. Ruin was once again being overprotective and not letting anyone but Twilight and I anywhere near her and Shadow. Even Chaos wasn't allowed. I knew once everything calmed down I'd be able to fully answer her question. When I proposed to her, she hadn't given me an answer. At least, not a straight one. Ruin pulled me down next to her, handing me our son.

"Ruin... I have something to tell you..." I started. Her eyes softened, portraying how scared she was. I tucked Shadow into the crook of one elbow while wrapping the opposite arm around her. She seemed to try to fight it. I sighed, "It's nothing bad, please calm down."

"Oh...kay..." she whispered.

"Yes. I love you more than anything. You are the light to my dark. The Yin to my Yang. I love you more than words can say and more than emotions can portray. You are the one who makes me want to face the day. I love you more than the stars in the sky, the drops of water on the planet, and the grains of dirt and sand. The hard times ahead of us are nothing to compared to what I'm willing to go through to make sure you're happy. Will you do me the honors of being my amazing wife?" I said. Tears welled up in the corners of her eyes and slowly slid down her cheeks. 

"Yes!" She squealed. I smiled, setting Shadow on his blanket in his crib. Ruin tackled me to the floor. That kiss was unlike any other we've shared before. I brought my arms up around her. High pitched giggles made their way to my ears.  Twilight belly flopped onto Ruin's back. I grunted from the force of it. I rolled my shoulders back and extended my hold to include her. Slowly standing up, I carried them both to the bed. Twilight, like the spider-monkey she is, climbed over her mother and clung to my shoulders, wrenching backward to try to make me fall. 

I landed sideways. Suddenly I felt something in me snap. Why was I with her? Why did I tell her I loved her? Since I've been here, it's only been to make her happy. Not me. I sat up and looked at Ruin. She looked so happy and upbeat. I sighed. I proposed. I made plans. But now... I'm wondering what I was thinking. I wasn't happy in the house.

"Ruin, I've got to go. But you have to promise me that you won't hurt yourself and you'll take care of the kids. Because I'm leaving you."

Her smile shattered. I was concerned for her well-being but I still needed to go.

"Let's not argue about this, okay? We can stay friends. Nothing more. I'll see you around." I spun on my heel and let the black mist transport me somewhere else. When I opened my eyes, I was standing outside the gates of Hell. Alright, if it was where I was supposed to be, I had no qualms. 

"Do you know what you've just done?" Dusk hissed at me. I nodded. He came out from behind a rock, his arms crossed against his chest. "She accepted your rejection."

My heart skipped a beat, but I sighed, "Good."

"Good?! You only get one true mate. And you just lost and gave up on her," he shouted. I glared at him and walked away. Slightly surprised it wasn't Rath yelling at me. Or Chaos. Whatever happened from that point on was going to happen. 

(Ruin's P.O.V.) 

It hurt. But not too much. I locked myself in the room with the kids. I didn't want to stand in the way of his happiness. After he left, I looked down at Twilight. She seemed content, like she didn't mind her father walked out on her and Shadow. I was going to be fine. Rath tried yelling through the door but I told him to go away and leave it be. Death had yet to say anything. Despair's absence did not go unnoticed. The second he vanished, everyone was asking questions. He was gone. End of story. 

"Mama, why did daddy leave?" Twilight asked.

I froze, "He went to find his own happiness."

"That's very mature of you to say," the Wanderer said, appearing on the desk chair. "Why do you deny yourself your own emotions?"

I glared at him, standing in between him and the kids, "Because my emotions are nothing but trouble. They cause destruction and I'm tired of fighting a hopeless war."

"But he was your true mate."

I bit my lip, "As if that mattered at all. He left because he wasn't happy being with me. I accept that. I'm okay."

"Don't lie. Especially to someone who can see through them. Ruin, as one who is only seen when I want to be... I understand what you're going through."

I shook my head, pressing my wrists against my temples. I was done. Things were going to have to change for the better.