The Grim Lost

Despair

When Death had renamed me, I felt lighter. No longer burdened by needing to take care of everyone around me. Though there was power in this freedom, I still preferred my original name. I would always be Ruin. And Rath, well, he figured out how to forgive quickly after realizing he had no idea how to raise that child. As brother and sister, we began to take care of the little infant. I swore that Noodle (my name for the baby) was too much like his father. A little troublemaker. Skotadi actually did heal from her wounds but she became more of a ghost in the house, trailing from room to room. I wasn't sure why Death was being so kind but I refused to dwell on it.

While Rath and I were mates; we were not each other's true mates. And since we hadn't mated yet, I remained pure. Skotadi was Rath's first mate. Something she seemed to forget. I had yet to find my true mate. Noodle's piercing cry woke me from my reverie. I looked over at Rath, who was crashed on the couch.

"It's your turn," came his muffled response to my gaze. I rolled my eyes and got up. The Matron and Patron gave us the house next to theirs to raise Noodle. As I entered his room, I saw Skotadi cradling him. I stepped forward warily. If she's holding him, it must be one of her awake days. She's been having a lot of those recently. Skotadi looked up, raising a finger to her lips. Noodle's cries had been silenced. I could still hear his heartbeat and breathing so I didn't panic as I normally would.

"Despair is here," she murmured. I stiffened. Despair was Rath's little brother. Last we talked, we didn't like each other very much. Needless to say, I knew nothing about him.

"Where?" I breathed. If he was in the house, I needed to leave. Skotadi stayed silent, rocking Noodle as if the world wasn't about to come down on top of us. Focusing on my hearing, I heard Rath go answer the front door. I sped out the back, hiding in the tall oak tree.

"I need to see Ruin," Despair's voice came out clear as day. No, no, no. I wouldn't meet his gaze. He was a manipulative thing. Before I knew what was happening, he was on the bough in front of me. My head stayed down, not wanting to see him. His hand came under my chin and forced me to look at him. His dark eyes met mine as he smiled. Everything in me screamed, "Mate!" I shook my head, not wanting to believe it.

Despair kissed me, gently pulling me onto his lap and coaxing my arms around his shoulders. His hands clutched me to him like I was a life preserver in this lonely ocean. Sparks ignited in my abdomen. The kiss deepened briefly. Then he pulled back.

"Mine," his tone was a low growl. I shuddered and felt him move his mouth to the left side of my neck. Was he going to mark me? Now trembling with anticipation, I waited. First it was nipping, then it got harder. When his fangs pierced my neck, an explosion of pleasure errupted throughout my entire body. He kissed the mark, once more causing me to shiver. We got out of the tree, his fingers intertwined in mine. Rath smirked from his perch in the back doorway. He wasn't going to let us through without a fight.

"Going somewhere?" Was his smartass question.

Without missing a beat, Despair replied, "Yep, your room." I giggled as he picked me up and literally climbed the rose lattice along the wall. Like some sort of spider monkey. He deposited me on the windowsill and looked back down at Rath, who was gaping at us. Despair looked back at me, "Well, this was fun. Bye!"

He jumped down and walked away. What remained of my heart after all these years turned to dust and blew away on the next breeze. My surroundings became momentarily blurry and I was aware of something hard hitting my back. I blacked out.

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"Dammit, Ruin! Wake up!" Something slammed into my chest. My eyes shot open. There was a plastic tube in my throat, impairing my ability to breathe. My gaze focused on who was talking. "Oh my god! Ruin! You're okay!"

I glared at Skotadi, unable to answer. My thoughts, however, decided they were going to project onto the nearest screen, which happened to be Despair's phone. I didn't even notice him there until he held it up.

Yes, Skotadi, because broken hearted and clueless on a hospital bed with a tube in my throat is the definition of 'okay.'

"I... I just meant..." she tried to explain. I shook my head slightly. Rath was on the side opposite of Despair and Skotadi. They were on my...right? That meant he was on my left. Death was also in the room, not looking too happy at being there in the first place.

"I was hoping your soul wasn't one I would have to pick up today," he said. Chaos came into view, arms crossed over her chest.

"You're an idiot." She stated, blowing some hair out of her face. My gaze wandered back to Despair, wondering what he was doing there. His dark eyes held mine intensely. When he flinched, I looked over at Rath. He had hit the back of Despair's head.

"So is he," Rath sighed. Not even that comment was enough to make me smile. He whined, laying his ears back. Just like a puppy. I scanned the room, noticing that Noodle was nowhere to be seen. Chaos saw my concern.

"Don't worry, he's in the nursery daycare," she said. I sighed. Despair took my hand in his, making my heartbeat quicken.

"Ruin... I..." he started. Death and Rath dragged him away from me, allowing Chaos and Skotadi to attempt to calm me down.

"Despair," Rath scolded. "You scarred her. You have no claim to her anymore. Any claim you might have had is gone. You sacrificed it. And for what? Now you're left with literally nothing."

"I love her and I need her. I can't lose her," Despair whispered strongly. My heartbeats overloaded the monitor. It sparked and blew. Everyone turned to me as I ripped the wires out, leaving the tube for last.

"Then you shouldn't have walked away like I was nothing," my voice was hoarse but the tone was the freezing temperature I intended it to be. "You should have fought a little harder. Instead of using your stupid silvertongue. I hope whoever you end up with can see through your bullshit because I hereby reject you as a mate."

The expression on his face shattered. It was heartbreaking because I could feel his mark fading quickly from my neck. Rath was there in an instant to stabilize me. Death smirked, holding his scythe against Despair's neck.

"No." I growled. "Leave him be." I summoned my own scythe to my hands, using it to help me stand. "I may have rejected him but everyone in this room is under my protection. So is my godchild."

Death nodded respectfully, rescinding his hold on my ex-mate. His eyes were empathetic so I knew he was eavesdropping on my emotions. I held strong, pointing my scythe at Despair. My intentions were clear. I didn't want to see him. He was allowed near for the sake of Rath and Noodle. That was it. 

"Think this through, Ruin. You rejected him, yet you're still protecting him?" Chaos asked.

I nodded, "Because you never stop being important to someone who had that strong of a connection to you. You snap back to it every time you try to sever it. So yes, I've thought this through. I'm done fighting the fates."