Disconsolate| LS

27

He let it get too far out of hand. Not like he was trying to take care of himself anyway.

Harry grabbed his keys and decided to go get some breakfast. He hopped in the car and turned it on. Waiting for the engine to run for a little bit, he opened the mirror and took a look. On his forehead to the upper right corner sat a small pimple. He was breaking out again. He hasn't had break outs for years. Maybe the stress was finally catching up with him. He shook his head and shut the mirror then stepped on the break and shifted into reverse.

Once he pulled out of the driveway he sped down the road towards a cafe him and Louis went to a few times. Harry recalls bringing Louis there for their second date.

It was a brunch date sort of. It was nice. Harry felt his eyes sting as he parked the car in front of the place. "Don't cry, don't cry, don't cry," He muttered to himself. He willed the tears away then got out of the car and headed in the place. The older lady Margaret who worked there immediately recognized Harry and broke out into a smile.

"Harry! How are you?!" She rushes around the counter with her short legs and pulled Harry into a warm embrace.

"I'm alright Margaret," he sort of lied, "how are you?"

"Great, great!"

"The place looks great!" Harry complimented. Although the building was older she kept it in good shape.

"How's Louis? That little darling! Haven't seen him in ages," She laughed lightly. Harry stiffened at the name. He knew this was bound to be brought up the moment he saw her.

"Uh- um yeah he's uh- he's fine." He didn't feel like explaining it, and lying was easier than talking about shit he didn't want to talk about.

"Good! He's always been my favorite of yours."

She was referring to Harry's relationships. Even before he began dating Louis he had been with 3 other people. They didn't last long but Margaret was there for every single one.

"Yeah..mine too."

She ushered him to the bar stools and told him
she'd make him a tea on the house. He tapped his fingers on the counter mindlessly. The time was now 2:06 pm. He had gotten a late start. Not that he had anywhere to be anyways.

"Can I have a bacon, egg and cheese on an English muffin?" Harry asked one of the workers who was wiping down the bar top.

The woman nodded and started to make Harry a breakfast sandwich. He was reaching his hand into his pocket to find his phone when he realized he left it at home. He grumbled then slouched and lent his head onto his hand.

"Here's your tea Harry, dear." Margaret set a cup of piping hot tea. The smell sent nostalgic feelings to Harry. He hadn't had a good cup of tea since Louis walked out and left.

He hadn't done a lot since Louis left. Now that he was pondering about the subject.. he wondered how Louis was doing. If he missed him. If he was happier. If he was a mess.

"Thank you," He replies a couple seconds late. She furrowed her brows at him.

"Is something wrong Harry?" She asked concerned.

"No.. everything is fine," His voice went more flat. He tried his best to mask his emotions. It seemed that whenever someone asked him if he was okay his body immediately wanted to break down. It's too late to be crying about it. It's over now, get over it. He told himself.

"You know I'll always be here for you. I have no room for judgement when I've lead a life of mistakes. We are both human here Harry," she said softly. Her old wrinkled fingers caressed the bend of his arm.

"I know Marg. I just don't feel like talking about it," He replied shortly. He knew she was trying to help, but he was sick of talking about his life. He was sick of thinking that Louis was done with him and moved on. He was fucking sick to his stomach.

He didn't want to think about it anymore. He wanted to forget. He wanted to do better. He wanted to get his job back. But he couldn't. He was stuck.

He was depressed, and anxious, and broken. Each day was just a challenge in itself. Could he get out of bed tomorrow morning? What about the day after? Was he gonna ignore Zayn again tomorrow? What about the days after. He was just digging to rock bottom and he couldn't put down the shovel.

When he was done with his brunch he left Margaret a tip and the other woman who made his breakfast that he didn't know the name of.

He drove home and fell onto the couch. He flicked through the channels and settled on the cooking one. Then, he passed out for the next couple of hours.
-

There's a glimpse into the mind of Harry.

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