Disconsolate| LS

27

This chapter is mainly gonna be focused on Harry and the next one will be focused on Louis. Just so you guys have a central idea of how they are both doing
✨
It had been six months since Louis had left Harry.

Six. Bloody. Months. Harry was worse than he has ever been. Worse than when he would cheat on Louis. Worse than when he'd drink until god knows when in the morning.

His apartment was a hell hole. He got semi-permanently fired from his job until he could get his shit together. Words of wisdom from his boss.

He wasn't being paid for it though. He was just waiting for the numbers in his bank account to drop until deciding to go back. Let him tell you though, it ain't hard for that to happen. Especially when you don't know how to cook with home made ingredients.

Harry woke up with a permanent frown etched into his face. Today was the six month mark of Louis leaving. It felt like 2 years. That amount of time spent away is easy to feel 2 years long when you spend every single day with the person.

He pulled back the warmth of the covers and swung his legs over the edge of the bed. Ah, 11:59 am. What a surprise...not.

He checked his phone. Nothing except a message from Zayn checking in on him. Again, not surprising.

His phone was on 15% battery. He must've forgot to plug it in. Not that it matter anyways. He had nothing to do on it and no one bothered speaking to him except Zayn. No one that mattered anyway. Definitely not Louis.

Stop it. Harry focused his tired brain on something other than Louis. Louis shredded his heart with his bare fingers. His longing was starting to turn into hatred now. He deleted all their pictures. He took them down in the flat. The walls were bare. The white paint never seemed more blank. The only thing that remained hanging was a wooden painted plank that said "home" in white letters. He was thinking about taking that down too. It just mocked him whenever he walked inside. This place was far from home. His home took his stuff and left. That's not what a home is supposed to do. A home is supposed to provide comfort and safety.

Now he was alone and numb. The silence had never truly been louder.

He finally got out of bed and dragged his big feet to his bathroom. He opened the glass door of his shower and grabbed ahold of the handle to turn on the water. Without a thought he turned the knob all the way to the right. Then he stripped off his boxers and socks. He glanced at the mirror, staring into the eyes of someone unrecognizable. He stood there for a moment. The goosebumps started to raise on his limbs and torso. He turned his head and stepped into the steaming shower. The heat of the water failed to burn him with the numbness coursing through his veins. Harry brought his fingers through his hair, down his neck and paused, feeling the hot water paint his back with red.

Louis hurt him more than this. He sighed and began to wash his hair with the black- half empty shampoo bottle on the rack. It smelled of something musky. Harry never really cared what scent his shampoo was. Louis was the one with preferences. He liked anything fruity smelling. He mostly used Dove.

Not that it mattered anymore anyways. Harry threw out the bottles of Louis' that were left. He put whatever clothing he didn't take with him in the guest room and he never went in there. Harry was just trying to erase the thing that caused him the most pain. As much as he never wanted to see Louis' face again, he would give up everything just to have him back.

Harry stepped out of the shower and wrapped a white fuzzy towel around his waist after dabbing at the water droplets down his chest and back. He brushed his teeth and shook out the water in his hair.

When he turned his body halfway around he could see the pink skin of his back from where the water was beating down on him. Going to his bedroom, he opened his drawer and grabbed some clothes. He grabbed a white shirt that had a smiley face with the tongue sticking out with holes in it. Then he threw on a snap back to hide his unruly hair. He really needed to cut it. (Outfit)