ONISM (rewriting)

Chap 18

           
•Riya•

It had been two hours since we have returned home from Kanwal's Walima and now I just sat there in balcony with particularly nothing in my brain. I was tired i could feel it. That heavy dress I wore had drained me and my calves pained. But I leisurely sat in balcony. I knew the moment I hit the bed I would be asleep and I didn't want that. I wanted to wonder.

I knew where will I find answers but I wasn't sure. I stood up and wrapped the same familiar shawl around me, forcing my feet to climb up the stairs.

I pushed open the rusted doors of terrace and stepped up the last stair, pitch black greeting me.

I stood there against the same railing, breathing in the same air Yawar had breath with me last night.

Never knew Hambal's words would effect me this bad that it would snatch away my sleep. Whatever he said I didn't believe it. I knew he wanted to grow a dispute among us.

If there had been anything like that, he wouldn't have succumb to the engagement with me. But the thoughts crashed my mind from months ago when Grandmother wanted us to get engaged but he wasn't agreeing. What was the reason behind his disagreement? I never asked.

But once I told my father that it was a 'yes' from my side, he approved it too.

I sighed. Why didn't i myself ask him? What if he had actually loved someone else? Which was why he took so many days before accepting grandmother's decision.

These last thoughts broke me. These somehow made me feel so restless and insecure. But what about his behaviour these days, he acted different. He acted as if he had known me for days and those adorable smiles he flashed rarely my way.

I shook my head.

It was absurd, totally absurd to think about Yawar like that because of a stranger's words---a stranger he had asked me to stay away from.

I closed the decaying door that had withstood my harsh weathers. Descending down the stairs, i grabbed my clutch that i had matched with my walima dress and took out my phone. I wrote a message to Yawar.

Hey you up?   ~R

I placed it on the bed upside down and started to comb my hair out of frustration.

My phone buzzed, making me forget everything and throw myself on bed with my hair sprawled on my pillow.

I thought I was the only Night owl.   ~Y

I chuckled.

I don't know i couldn't sleep. What about you? Why are you up?    ~R

I was thinking about someone.    ~Y

My stomach swelled in worry and i sat up. It was as if my doubts were coming true.

Who?   ~R

No one special. Just a person from the past.   ~Y

That's confusing!   ~R

Riya, I have so many questions unanswered and these keep me awake at nights.   ~Y

What sort of questions are these? I wanna help.   ~R

Forget it. These won't do anything good by being remembered at such a beautiful time when I am talking to you.    ~Y