ONISM (rewriting)

chap 38

● R I Y A ●

Blood Red.

It was all I could see.

The colour on my hands portrayed the colour of tears my heart was shedding; and the colour of my rukhsatti dress portrayed the death of my soul.

For any girl this day is a memorable one. They get jittery and tingling feelings; they do bridal showers; thier friend tease them and what not.

I remember well, the beaming face of Kanwal's been flashing in front of me since last night. Her joyfulness screamed how happy she was to marry the guy she was in love with.

Perhaps I would have been the same if I were getting married to Yawar.

I shook my head, an oblivious guilt washing over me.

Saying his name even in my mind, felt wrong for I was going to be someone else's wife by evening. How could I engrave some other man's name on my heart?

My eyes lingered on my henna-laden hands, a very unfamiliar name resting at the root of my thumb. حنبل - this was never the name I wanted to have written next to mine.

Whacking my hand in anger, I looked away and this time my eyes laid at my own reflection. I was a bride. Wearing red and all dolled up for the guy who had defamed me.

***

"Nikkah Mubarak, baiti." A woman had said to me but I was too tired to life my eyes and see who it was.

The mere acceptance, the speech of saying 'I do' three times had drained me mentally and physically. So now I just sat feeling nothing. The stimulus of marrying Hambal to my brain was still been sent but now my brain was too fatigued to response.

So I just sat in an air of numbness.

Meanwhile, a lady handed some candies to me and asked me to put that in my purse for if I ever feel hypoglycemic I should intake one or two of these to balance my sugar level.

I nodded at her and placed them in my clutch. I looked up through my veil to thank her but she was gone.

I looked down again, this room was isolated now. It was just me, I heaved a breath and loosened my posture a little.

There was a slight knock on the door to gain my attention.

I have waited for her throughout the whole wedding and even before than that, and now that Kanwal was here. I didn't feel like talking to her.

I turned my face away as my heart got heavy, a wave of fresh tears pooling my eyes.

Kanwal had deceived me and left me alone when I needed her the most. No strings of friendship seemed to pull me towards her anymore. My hold on the clutch tightened, as she came closer and sat down next to me.

"Riya, Nikkah Mubarak."

I nodded, "shukriya."

"Riya, I know your heart isn't compelled but trust me you have taken an accurate decision. Don't mind me but no one else would have married you after what Hambal did. He told everyone that you had called him to your room. Which I know he is lying but I am sorry I couldn't do anything for you, Riya."