January 31st
9:59 am
"I apologize for not telling you earlier." I tell Camila sincerely. "No. It's ok, I understand if you couldn't." She stood in front of me. Still sitting in the same spot were I had been since visiting hours ended and begun, I waited for Dinah to regain consciousness.
"Is she sleeping or unconscious? Not like there's a difference between the two when it comes to her." Camila poorly attempts to make a joke, quickly realizing I didn't find it funny. Well at least could bring myself to. "Unconscious, I believe."
Camila gives me an apologetic look, "Have you eaten or slept?" "How could I?" I sigh heavily and cover my face, "When I had to leave I couldn't stop thinking about whether or not she'll wake up and be alone or... I'd lose her..." My voice cracks interrupting me.
I feel Camila embrace me in a comforting hug. I don't like to be seen like this, but like most times, I don't care about myself. My complete and utter focus is on my girlfriend who is being kept alive by machinery.
I try to hold myself together and speak again, "she may regain consciousness in a 2 or 4 days... something like that." There's nothing more than I want to say but I love you... and I'm sorry. For some unknown reason I feel as if this is my fault. Like I could've stopped this from happening to her and I sure as hell believe it.
"Lauren you know this isn't your fault, right?" Camila takes me by complete surprise. I stay silent not knowing what to say. "That's a yes or no question, it really isn't that hard." She states blatantly. "F*ck off, Camila."
"Ok, but I don't want you hurting yourself because Dinah can't do anything about it." What? "Why do you assume I'm going to hurt myself." As much as I wanted to deny it... I've already gone back. "Because Dinah told me..." I felt myself getting slightly annoyed, but Camila spoke again before I could say anything, "She had a good reason to, she said if anything bad ever happened to her, she would count on me to keep you from doing anything you would regret."
I turned my head to watch the youngest. Trying to find the strength within myself to do the best I could quickly diminishing. I hate myself. I don't think I can change that. I feel guilty for not only the situation she's in, but for me not being strong enough. I nod shortly after realizing Camila was still there.
"I want you to know I'm here for you though. I have to go now." Camila leaves the room leaving Dinah, me, and my horrible thoughts.
To be continued...
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Air 🎈 Head EXTREMES ( Laurinah Fanfic)
Fanfiction"You being at the wrong place at the wrong time should've only been enough for you to physically change, but please, don't change who you are on the inside because I love you for you."
