Air 🎈 Head EXTREMES ( Laurinah Fanfic)

Chapter 10

Same day
9:58 am

I ended up falling back asleep and now my bladder is screaming to be relieved. I squirm out of the older girls arms and scurry to the bathroom. I relieve myself of those bOdiLy fLuiDs, washed my hands and brushed my teeth.

Wow. I found someone who probably sleeps as much as I do. You know, even though she called me three times at 4 until I finally picked up for her to ask me if she could come over cause she has separation anxiety and Ally went out of town with Austin and she couldn't sleep and I was her savior. Oof, that sentence was runnier then my eggs.

I leave the bathroom and she's just waking up. "Sleep well?" I ask. She nods rubbing her eyes. That's adorable. "That's good..."

I look at the time and feel a wave of sadness come over me, I have to go to work in a little and I don't want to leave this sleeping beauty. Wait, I have a question, "Are you working?"

She shakes her head sitting up. "Well, kinda. I'm making money, but from investments and the stock industry's, live trading, all that sweet stuff." She smiles. "So you get money from doing nothing?"

"No, I have to work on my computer, see when the stocks active and get involved. So I kinda do." "That's lit." I crawl over to her and wrap my arms around her. "What are you doing today?" I ask. She shrugs in response. "Well you wanna go out and have breakfast, you can choose where."

"That sounds nice, but I don't have a particular place in mind." She pouts. Aw don't do that. "That's alright, let's just let Siri choose." I say cupping her face with one hand while the other's still wrapped around her waist. "Ok." She says happily.

She moves over to the dresser next to my bed to get her phone and scoots back to me. "Hey Siri, what are good breakfast places near by?" While she asks this I notice something I've never seen before. Something I'm so surprised I haven't seen.

I immediately grab her arm and pull down her sleeve. She keeps her gaze on her phone as Siri responds. And my fears are confirmed. Not one. Not two. Not even three. A valley of scars.

"Lauren?" I whimper, barely audible. She pulls her arm away from me, "I'm fine, please, don't ask."

I didn't know how to feel in that moment. It was to much to wrap my head around, someone so amazing, so sweet, who would hurt her?! Did anyone even hurt her? How has she seemed perfectly fine, great in fact, but is suffering so much that she has to physically hurt herself.

"Well Siri says Revive Cafe is good..." Lauren says getting up. "I'm going to go to my place so I can get changed." My still shook self nods without realizing that I don't want to leave her alone, but of course I don't think about that till she leaves.

10:53 am

We sat eating our breakfasts and it's been awfully quiet, more like awkwardly quiet. Mostly because I'm awkward in situations like this and I just don't know how to start a simple conversation.

"So... Are you... enjoying your food?" I make an attempt at interaction. Lauren only nods and continues eating. I just don't get how one fact can make things so different in between us. It was going perfectly fine before I found out she cuts. Now I can't even start a conversation without it leading up to me asking why she does it.

What can I ask? I can't ask if she's alright, I don't know how to put that in different words. Wait, I gotz thiz, "I think you're really beautiful..."

She smiles and mutters a small thank you. "Inside and out... and the more I get to know you the more I grow attached to you. I care about you... and if this is something you're used to hearing, I don't care. Cause I'll tell you again, you matter and I seriously care about you. I haven't known you for long, but I love you. I do." I tell, our eyes never leaving one another.

"I don't hear that often. This is actually the first not coming from my parents or Ally..." She laughs softly, as much as it hurts to hear that. "And... I love you too, Dinah."

I've defined the reoccurring look in her eyes. That only seems to come around when we're truly honest, happy, and overall satisfied with each other's presence. I'll call it, boarder line intimacy. With just one look can speak a thousand words. I'm still learning, but I know we have a long way ahead of us.

I love her, I really do.
And I hope she does too.

3:26 pm

"Does it really matter how I cope with my emotions?" Lauren fumed. "It does, Lauren. There are more options, better options." I state for the 14th time. At this point she was breaking. I knew this, but continued to push. BECAUSE, hear me out now, you don't always know what's behind the walls we put up and there is nothing wrong with finding out. Right? Right? Ya.

"Ally already tried to make me stop, Dinah. I'm not dead, I have not been hospitalized. I'm doing perfectly fine for... Almost 9 months already!"

"Lauren, have you ever heard of that saying that says you can't love anyone if you don't even love yourself?"

She thought to herself for a moment, "No, I have not."

"I love you and it would hurt if the love I have for you isn't mutual."

"It is... It might not be ya know, I might love you more and that saying is bullsh*t."

"Well, Lauren, I'm happy the feelings near mutual, but listen to this, if I love you and you love me, I'd care for you and your wants and needs and you'd do the same for me. I nearly want you to stop if it's so difficult for you, but I need for you to take care of yourself."

Lauren lets out a sigh, "I'm sorry, it's hard. I can't assure that I'll get better. I love you, I really do, I can try, but I doubt that I can even go a 3 days clean. I don't know what else to do, Dinah. I just can't stop, you don't know what I went through, I have no choice. It is either I die from keeping my sanity or I die from going insane. Which would you prefer." She cried.

Sh*t, I did it. I broke her. I sigh seeing the poor girl cry for the second time, but this time it's different. It's because of me.

I pull her into me and hold her close, "It's ok, baby. It's ok." I let her cry it out. I mean, this is what I wanted right?

No... Not quite yet.