worlds pass by | dear evan hansen

Chapter 34

The audience had the couple minutes during Jess Clarke's 'Tomorrow Is' to collect themselves. Lin hadn't expected to be this emotional this quickly during the funeral.

Jordan's speech... it made Lin stop and think about all the people he'd never thanked. All the things he'd waited to tell people.

Alaina nudged him. "Don't cry," she whispered.

"I'll try not to," Lin told her with a little laugh. 

Christy Altomare looked tiny on the stage, dressed in pale pink, as she stepped up to the microphone.

"I have to say, at first I wasn't sure what I was going to say, when Kasey asked me to talk," Christy said. "I don't know him the way some of you do. Jace and I never worked together. We never went to high school together. We never sang together, we never drank together.

"Our first encounter was by chance, on the streets near both of our theaters, right after the evening show. It was one of those nights that feels like it could last forever. He was sitting on the wall. I don't remember where. I do remember walking toward him. I think we'd both heard of each other before, but we hadn't officially met. He seemed so lonely. If it had been any other night, I probably wouldn't have stopped. But I'm glad I did."

"We talked, probably more honestly than I've ever talked in my life. We both figured things out about ourselves that I think we hadn't before. I don't know what Jace thinks about that night. But I know that I needed that honesty more than I realized," Christy continued, gazing into the audience without really seeming to see it. 

"There were a few more nights, maybe six or seven, where we stopped on the street, just to talk. Just helping another person get through life. I came to realize just the man that Jace was. He was a gentleman, he was considerate. He is so passionate and yet so thoughtful. He cares more deeply than I thought possible."

"I didn't know Jace from school, or from work. I didn't know him as a brother, fiancee, or costar. I knew Jace from the dark streets of New York, in some rare moments of vulnerability. And even though I don't know much at all about other sides of Jace... I can say one thing."

"I'm glad that I talked to him, because the few minutes I spent with him taught me more about humanity, love, and compassion than I will ever learn from anyone else." 

Lin was crying, by this point. He didn't think he would be a wreck until Kasey started talking- but Christy's reflection had been beautiful. 

He hadn't known Jace as well as he would have wanted to. They'd talked a handful of times- each time, Lin had been struck by Jace's intelligence and integrity. He could tell that Jace was a great man, and a wonderful fit for Kasey. 

After Christy sat down, the Tangled orchestra played a medley of songs from Tangled, Lin assumed, as they filled the theater with gorgeous sound. 

Andrew Reynolds then got up to the microphone. He read a few lines from scripture, and then looked up from his notes.

"Jace was a bright man, a talented singer, but an even better son. I don't know what to say about him being gone. I don't know how to close this. But... as I looked through some of Jace's things, I found something that really struck me. His senior quote, from college. He chose this to be his last impression on his class. Perhaps it's fitting to end this reading with it, too."

"How lucky I am, to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard."

Andrew paused. "By Winnie the Pooh."

Lin couldn't help but chuckle a little. 

There was a tangible shift in the air as Kasey walked up to the microphone. He clasped hands with Vanessa. Alaina and Pippa were also holding hands- unsurprisingly, Pippa was already sniffling. 

"I'll keep this as short as I can," Kasey said, looking out over the audience, her head held high, almost defiant. "I know that this is probably a longer service than you'd like."

"I feel like you learn a lot about someone after they've died. It's almost strange how death can make you free," she continued. "Many people have approached me these past few weeks and days with wonderful stories and memories of their time with Jace. While it's been enlightening, I cannot deny that it hasn't been easy to hear everything people have to say about him and about his death."

She glanced down at her hands, clasped on the podium. "When you're about to marry someone, you think you know everything. You hope you know everything about that person, because you don't want something stupid to get in the way of your relationship. I knew that Jace was protective, I knew he was selfless. But I never understood just how selfless he was until he was gone."

"Things weren't easy for him these past few months. He'd been struggling with coming to terms with a lot of things about his life that he didn't like. But he kept it from me, and I was stupid enough not to notice how much he was suffering."

Kasey looked up again, her eyes narrowed. "Never underestimate your own power. You will never understand how your actions can affect the lives of the people around you. You may not ever see the results of what you do."

"In the same way, I didn't know what was going on with Jace because he was hiding it from me. It wasn't until after his death that I realized the lengths that he went to, to hide his pain from me. He did it to protect me," she said. 

"He felt defined by all the negative things people told him. I'm begging all of you to not let that happen to anyone else in your life."

She paused, looking out at the audience. "Hold your people close and tell them that you love them every chance you get. Leave no regrets, no matter what kind of regret they may be."

"After all, who knows how much time you have left?"