worlds pass by | dear evan hansen

Chapter 15

"I haven't been completely honest with you," Jace admitted, looking down at the ground. "I just didn't want to say anything, because I didn't want you to worry."

"Worry about what?" Kasey asked, her voice almost deadly calm.

"About Spongebob, and how bad everything's been getting. My cast members... they hate me," Jace said, sitting down on the couch beside Kasey. "I- I don't know what to do."

Kasey turned to face her fiancee. "That's still going on?!" she exclaimed. "I thought it died down, I thought you told someone."

"I didn't. I don't need them judging me even more than they already are. I'm just... I need to stay. I'm not going to let them run me out of the show. That's what they want. They want me to leave. I won't give in to them."

"Jace, if it's hurting you, you can leave!" Kasey insisted. "Please, don't put yourself through that. There are other shows out there. You'd find something else, with better people. I'm begging you. Don't do this do yourself."

"I should be the one supporting you. I'm supposed to be the strong one, I'm supposed to provide for you, so that you don't have to worry about anything. This should be the happiest time of your life. I don't want you spending it worrying about me."

"The whole point of a marriage is to trust each other and tell each other things, Jace," Kasey said, putting a hand on his knee. "I'm not angry, I just don't understand why you didn't say something sooner."

"You deserved so much more than listening to me complain all the time," Jace told her impatiently. "You don't need that. I shouldn't be another burden. You deserve someone better, someone who can provide for you, not the other way around. Maybe I don't deserve you."

Kasey stood up. "Don't ever talk like that again, Jace. You mean everything to me. We'll do something about Spongebob, and-"

"Kasey, no. We're not doing anything about Spongebob. I didn't tell you this so you could freak yourself out about my job when you're about to start a new one. I'll take care of it. You focus on DEH, and I'll worry about this."

"Jace-"

"No. I won't let you take care of everything. Just... just let me do this, alright?"

"Do you not trust me?"

Jace paused. "I do trust you, Kase, I just... I just don't want you to think about it, okay? I don't want to ruin your perfect idea of Broadway. Not now. You deserve so much more than that."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Before Kasey knew it, all of her preparations to replace Laura came to a close. The final put-in rehearsal, the final music run through, Kasey's first sitzprobe...

And now, the time had finally come. 

Laura was leaving Dear Evan Hansen today, and Kasey was replacing her the day after. 

She went down to the Music Box Theatre to sit in the show one last time, to see Laura's final performance. She couldn't help but think that this would be the last time that she'd watch the show as a spectator, and not as a performer. 

It was harder than Kasey had expected, to watch one of her closest friends perform for the final time in a role she'd originated. And it was admittedly weird to be on the other end, and be stepping into a role that already had so many expectations behind it.

Even though she was thrilled to have gotten the role, Zoe Murphy frightened Kasey. The idea that she'd be replacing a beloved actress in such a heartfelt role stressed her out. There were so many connotations behind being in DEH. Kasey was prepared for it- she'd gone to the sessions and gotten the speeches. She knew what it meant to advocate for mental health, and she knew what the show meant to people with mental health issues. 

Each of the shows she'd been in before had been extremely significant for different reasons- Hamilton, for its revolutionary interpretation; and Frozen, because of the appeal to younger audiences. 

But for Kasey, Dear Evan Hansen hit the closest to home.

That was why it felt all the more important to be perfect, to reach the high bar that Laura had already set. It was why the show was so much more intimidating. 

Kasey suddenly had a lot of sympathy for the people like Madelyn, who'd replaced her in Frozen. Now she knew what it was like. Laura was going to be a tough act to follow.

She exhaled as Laura stepped forward to take her final bow.

It would be her turn next.