worlds pass by | dear evan hansen

Chapter 31

Kasey didn't know how she'd ended up sitting at the Reynolds's kitchen table with Jace's family, planning his funeral.

She wouldn't have believed anyone if they'd told her that this was where she'd be two months ago. It would have seemed impossible.

But now, her entire life had become a nightmare that she'd never imagined. 

"I was thinking that we'd have the funeral in the Lunt-Fontanne," Moira told Andrew, Kasey and Jordan emphatically. "We can invite everyone from his casts. Spongebob, Tangled..."

Kasey clenched her fists under the table. Jordan seemed to notice- he cast Kasey a concerned look before turning back to Moira. 

"It would also be nice if some of his fans could be there. I think he would like that. We can have music," Moira continued, a far-off look in her eyes. "Maybe Jessica can sing."

"Shouldn't we keep the guest list to a minimum?" Kasey asked tentatively. "A lot of these people that you're thinking of... they didn't know Jace. Not the way that others did."

"He touched so many lives. I think it's only fair that they get the chance to honor him the way that they want. And I think it would be lovely, to see everyone that he's known," Moira said, clasping Kasey's hand in hers. "I just think it would be so beautiful, to see everyone who loves him in the same place."

There was no good way to argue against that. But Kasey could tell that Jordan, and even Andrew, were also having reservations about the immense scale of the funeral that Moira had in mind. 

"Maybe it would be best to keep the guest list to a minimum," Andrew told his wife. "After all, not many people know-"

"Not many people know what happened," Jordan finished. "We don't want people who aren't close to him to intrude on a private service."

"Jace was always the people's guy. He won all those awards, after all," Moira insisted. "It's only fair to them that they get to... to say goodbye."

"Moira-"

"Please. It would mean so much to me," Moira begged. "I just want to see everyone that loves Jace the way that I do."

Kasey swallowed. 

That would be impossible, since Moira planned on inviting the entirety of the Spongebob cast. Including the people that drove Jace over the edge.

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Parts of the funeral planning weren't as hard as Kasey thought they would be. Moira seemed to already have it thought out in her mind- the flowers, the decorations, the dress code- she'd practically thought of everything before Kasey joined them for planning.

She received a phone call just after her evening show. 

"Hello?"

"Kasey, this is Jordan."

"Hi, Jordan. Is everything okay?" Kasey asked instantly. 

"Yeah. Everything's fine, everyone's okay. We're still planning... um, my mom wants to ask you for two people that you want to speak. At the funeral."

Kasey exhaled. "Who does she have in mind already?" she asked, correctly assuming that Moira had already thought of a list.

"Our whole family- my dad, me, you... I think she's going to speak. Ethan Slater and Gavin Lee... Jess Clarke and Araella Marquis."

"Ethan Slater?"

"What's wrong with that?"

She hadn't told Jordan about what she'd found out from Cole Gilbert. 

"There's a lot of things I haven't told you, Jordan, but I think you should know..."

It took twenty minutes for her to explain what had happened during Spongebob. The entire time, Jordan was silent on the other end. He only spoke when she stopped to make sure that he was still on the line.

When she'd finished, there was silence again. A long, gaping silence. 

"Jordan?"

"I'm still here."

"I'm so, so sorry. If I had just payed more attention, if I had been more observant, maybe this wouldn't have happened."

"You're not to blame, Kasey," Jordan told her finally. "They're the ones to blame. They're the ones who did this to Jace. I'm not going to let it happen to anyone ever again. And I'm definitely not letting Ethan or Gavin into the funeral. He doesn't deserve it. None of them do."

"Don't blame the entire cast. The ensemble had it just as rough as he did-"

"I'm not. The ensemble is free to join us. But I'll make sure that Ethan and the others aren't on the guest list. They have no right to be. I'll find someone who actually took the time to get to know Jace to speak."

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you earlier."

"I get why you didn't. I don't know how I'm going to tell my mom..." Jordan said. He cleared his throat. "In the meantime... is there anyone you want to speak at the funeral?"

Kasey mentally paged through everyone she knew Jace had been close to- most of them were either already on the invite list, or were already speakers... except...

"I'll think about it."

"Alright. Text or call me if there's anything you need. A friend, dinner, whatever. I can have Rachel and Ally come over, if you want."

"Thank you. I'll let you know when I have someone in mind."

Kasey hung up. 

She didn't need more time to come up with a name- she already had one in mind.