worlds pass by | dear evan hansen

Chapter 28

Life slowly started to return back to normal- well, as normal as it could get. Without Jace, Kasey's life seemed empty. She never really realized how much they were around each other, and how much he'd changed her life, until he was gone.

His funeral loomed over all of the decisions she had to make. But she wouldn't make them alone- Moira, Andrew, and Jordan stayed in New York City for a few weeks so that they could all talk about it together. 

It seemed impossible that only two weeks ago, they were looking forward to their wedding. 

Strange that it took Jace's death to bring Kasey and Andrew closer together- but it had. She wished Andrew's acceptance had come under any other circumstances. Their unspoken appreciation was possibly the only good thing that came from Jace's suicide.

One day, Kasey received a phone call from Elizabeth Gray. 

"I realize this might be... too soon. But do you have time to talk?" Elizabeth asked cautiously.

"Don't worry about it," Kasey said immediately. "What do you need?"

"The cast and the crew were talking... and we want to do something. As a Frozen cast. For Jace. We think that it's really important, what happened."

Kasey was silent, too caught off guard to answer. 

"I completely understand if you don't want us to, I realize that it may be a hard thing to consider. I'll tell them-"

"Stop, stop," Kasey interrupted. She took a deep breath. "I think it would be good. For people to start talking about it. Whatever you want to do, you have my permission."

"You really don't have to agree if you don't want to. I don't want you to feel pressured or anything. Take as much time as you need."

"No, I do agree. I think that it deserves to be addressed. Just, don't ruin him, please?"

"Of course not," Elizabeth said emphatically. "I'll run whatever we decide to do by you. And, just as a heads up, I think a lot of casts will be approaching you."

Kasey exhaled. "Thank you for telling me, and for asking permission."

"Kasey?"

"Yeah?"

"I really am very sorry. You seemed so happy with him, and I know how much he meant to you. I wish things had turned out differently."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Elizabeth was right- many casts called Kasey over the next few weeks following Jace's death. She tried not to let Moira and Andrew hear the many phone calls, not knowing what they would think, not wanting them to be bothered. 

She had only known Jace for three years. They'd known him his whole life. 

They were knee-deep in funeral preparations. It was impossible for Kasey to understand what Jace was thinking in the days and hours leading up to his death. 

Only left a few things could reveal anything. There was his will, which he had amended before the wedding. And then there was the phone call. It puzzled Kasey that his last words had been sent, not to her, but to Christy Altomare.

Hearing that message was one of the hardest things about his death. His voice seemed weighed down by desperation, and yet he sounded resigned, too. Like he'd accepted what he was about to do.

Christy had given the message to Kasey in person, and confirmed that the copy Kasey had was the only copy. No media outlet or fan would get their hands on the call. Maybe Kasey was paranoid, because of Dear Evan Hansen, but the call felt too personal for anyone else but family to hear.

Kasey had yet to really talk to Christy about that night, about what had happened. They'd had maybe an hour alone before Kasey was swept up in the aftermath.

She listened to it once, but then refused to listen to it again. It was too much to hear.

Her phone had become a necessity- people were always calling her, or texting her. It rang as she was walking down the street toward the Music Box Theatre.

"Hello?"

"Have I reached Kasey Winslow?"

"Yes, that's me."

"I am Jace's lawyer. I was calling to see if there was a time that you were available to go over the contents of his will."

Kasey inhaled sharply, unable to speak for a few seconds. "I can meet you Wednesday, around 6:00."

"That sounds perfect. I'll see you then. I'm sorry for your loss."

I'm sorry for your loss. Those words were ones Kasey never wanted to hear again.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Wednesday came sooner than Kasey wanted it to. She dreaded hearing the contents of Jace's will. She didn't want to hear it. These were Jace's last official words, they were what he wanted to leave behind.

Jace's lawyer offered her a seat as soon as she stepped inside the office. "First of all, Jace's parents, Moira and Andrew, have already gone over the contents of this with me. He specifically asked that I review this with you, so that you are aware of his estate and what has been left to you."

The lawyer flipped open the manila folder on his desk and pulled out a sheet of paper, passing it to Kasey. "This is his will, all of it that may pertain to you."

"Firstly. 'I, Jace Christopher Reynolds, residing in New York City, revise my last will and testament on January 18, 2018. Any and all debts I have accumulated over the course of my lifetime will repaid upon my death. To my parents; Moira May Reynolds and Andrew Edward Reynolds; I leave all items that can be found in my childhood room. To my brother, Jordan Oliver Reynolds, I leave my clothing, my bicycle, and books, to do with what he wishes. I transfer my apartment and the contents of it to the sole possession and ownership of Kasey Elizabeth Winslow, in addition to half of the contents of my personal accounts after debts are repaid. Twenty-five percent of the remaining finances are to be split between Moira and Andrew Reynolds and Jordan Reynolds. The other twenty-five percent should be given as a donation to the Broadway theatre institutions. If those mentioned above have already passed, then I ask that whatever they have been entitled to is donated to the Trevor Project fund in my name.'"

"'I ask that upon my death, a simple ceremony honoring my life should be performed as a celebration. I ask those dear to me to attend, and request that my ashes may be spread somewhere meaningful, in nature.'"

"'To Kasey: I love you with all my heart. I cannot imagine my life without you in it, and I never want to. You are an angel. Live a beautiful life, my darling. It's okay to go on. You deserve every moment of happiness. Always yours, Jace.'"

The lawyer set down the paper. 

Kasey took a shaking breath, swallowing a lump in her throat.

"Once the paperwork is processed, you will inherit what Jace requested in this will. You will own the apartment and the items inside, save for what he left to his brother, Jordan. You can do with it what you wish."

She nodded, not trusting herself to speak.

"I am deeply sorry, and I extend my condolences. Jace seemed like a great guy."

"He was."