worlds pass by | dear evan hansen

Chapter 22

As soon as Kasey stepped off the stage after the final scene, Bill pulled her aside. His eyes had a strange look to them. Something was off.

"I need to speak to you, in private," he said. "There's something you need to know.Come with me."

He led her into one of the quick-change areas, Jennifer joining them a few seconds later. 

Bill swallowed, his eyes fixed on the ground. He finally met Kasey's gaze after a few seconds of tense silence. "I think you might want to sit down."

Kasey obediently sat, hands clasped together, her heart sinking with each passing second that Bill and Jennifer were quiet. Bill and Jennifer's faces were somber. 

She knew what had happened a split second before Bill opened his mouth. She recognized that 'look', she knew the pitying glance. But she didn't want it to be true. She didn't want Bill to talk, she didn't want to hear what she knew he would say. 

"In the middle of act two, we got a phone call from the Christy Altomare. There's no good way for me to tell you this, but... Jace committed suicide this afternoon."

Kasey inhaled sharply, shaking her head. "No."

"I am so, so, sorry."

Kasey covered her face with her hands, tears forming in her eyes. "He wouldn't."

Jennifer wrapped her arms around Kasey's shoulders, pulling Kasey closer. "Come here, sweetie."

She buried her face in Jennifer's chest. "Jace wouldn't. It's impossible."

"I know, I know," Jennifer murmured. 

Vaguely Kasey registered Bill's footsteps leaving the room, but she registered nothing. " He promised," she insisted, voice muffled by Jennifer's shirt. She refused to let her tears fall. She refused to believe that Jace would ever do something like this. He loved her, he'd promised that he would stay.

"Oh, Kasey," Jennifer whispered, tears rolling down her cheeks.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Just like that, everything in her life changed. 

It was hard to imagine that the day before, she'd been happily planning her wedding with Jace. They'd just sat down at the kitchen table and written their vows. They hadn't shared them, but they'd written them together. It had felt nice to have him by her side as she wrote them, knowing that this was what the rest of her life would be like, too.

That's what she thought. Until today. 

They spent about five minutes in the quick-change room after Bill left. Then, Kasey pulled herself out of Jennifer's grasp and wiped the moisture from her eyes.

Jennifer watched Kasey carefully. "What do you need me to do? What do you want to do?"

"I want to know if it's true, that he's really gone," Kasey said, her voice steady. "I need to see him."

"Alright. We'll go."

"No, you stay. You need to see the fans. They'll be disappointed if no one stage doors. And you don't need to go with me. You don't need to put yourself through this."

"I'm not going to leave you by yourself," Jennifer insisted.

"I'll call Carleigh. Someone. I'll be okay," Kasey said, her voice softening just a little bit. "I need to deal with this. It's not your burden to bear, Jen." 

"Call Carleigh right now. I need to watch you do it, and I'll wait with you until she gets here. You're not going to be alone. Not tonight, understand?"

Kasey dipped her head. "Okay," she agreed softly. 

Jennifer watched her call Carleigh. She knew how close the two were. The strange thing about Kasey was how quickly she seemed to have processed and internalized Jace's death. Anyone else would have been a mess, but Kasey was oddly calm and composed. Even as she spoke to Carleigh, her voice almost never wavered. 

"Carleigh, I need you to come to the theatre. Something's happened to Jace," Kasey said, pacing around the room as she talked. "Just... come as soon as you can, okay? I need you here."

The two exchanged a few more words before Kasey hung up. She turned to Jennifer. "Carleigh's coming. I'm going to change. Bring her up when she gets here."

Jennifer nodded slowly. "I will."

They waited for what seemed like an eternity, in silence. Jennifer kept glancing over at Kasey, who was oddly calm.

Carleigh stepped in the door of the dressing room not ten minutes after Kasey called. Her friend's face was filled with worry. 

"You can go now, Jen," Kasey spoke up. 

Jennifer swallowed and stood, touching Carleigh's arm as she walked out.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kasey watched Jennifer go, then turned to her best friend.

"What is it?" Carleigh asked, taking in Kasey's expression. Her dark eyes were filled with concern.

"It's Jace."