Washed Away (Pretty Much FanFic)

Chapter 31: Second Time

Zion's Pov

"After that I needed a break and I needed to get away from everything." I said feeling guilty for the shit that I caused, "I wasn't the one who would help you get better,"

"So you were scared? The reason why everyone of our friends got into deeper shit was, because you were scared?!" she exclaimed as she looked off and shook her head in disappointment.

"Yes,I was scared to take the responsibility of taking care of you. I was scared of making mistakes, and you leaving, leaving me, leaving everyone." I mumbled the last parts.

She grabbed my hands, while still looking off. "I know that feeling, it was how I felt when I first started liking you. I've never liked anyone as much as I liked you," she paused and let go of my hands. "I was scared, but I had faith. To be able to trust you I had to have faith in what we were, I guess you didn't." she looked down as i couldn't think of what else to say.

After a while of silence I spoke up.

"I had faith in you, in us, but not in myself to be able to take care of you. I was scared of how your future would be if you ended up with me-"

"Without you it ended up worse than it would have with you in it. I never asked you to take care of me, all I wanted was a friend at least," She paused and stood up, "I would've rather you tell me all of this instead of you running away, and leaving us all in the dark. Do you know how much that hurt us? Hurt me?"

"I never meant to hurt you!" I exclaimed, as I stood up in front of her, and grabbed her shoulders, "That's why I'm sorry for everything that I've done up till now. That's why I am doing everything I can to make it up to you all, and to make it up to you out of everyone else, because I know that it was hard, what you had to go through,"

"Thanks?" She scoffed out and she shook my grip off of her shoulders, "Should I be thanking you for trying to make it up to me now? Well then, fuck, thanks for trying to fix the mess that you left. Thanks for trying to mend this, but it won't ever be fixed until we all find something that won't keep pushing us away from each other." She stood up and left.

And it just let her go, again, I would have let her go, for the second time in my life. And for the second time I feel as hopeless as if all of this wouldn't have ever made a difference, if it was not uttered at all.