Moving In || l.r.h

• 25 •

I woke up and Luke was gone, for the second time. I started freaking out. He couldn't be gone. He wouldn't leave.

"Luke?" I whispered, not knowing who was in the house and not wanting to get caught.

There was no reply and I started freaking out. I got up and walked over to my bathroom, nothing. I went out into the hall, nothing. I tiptoed downstairs, knowing if I woke anyone up I would be dead.

"Luke?" I asked again peering into all the rooms. I sighed, feeling the inevitable tears well up. It wouldn't be long before I was bawling. I could feel it like a tsunami.

Part of me was happy Luke had left, so I didn't have to figure out the awkwardness. But most of me just wanted him to be there when I woke up, to hug me and tell me it was okay. I could feel myself getting slowly more attached to Luke but I didn't really care. Right now I just wanted a hug, I wanted someone next to me telling me that I was alright, that this happened to everyone.

Selfish, that's what I was being but I really didn't care. I did want someone to tell me it would be okay. That's all I wanted. I wanted someone, anyone, to tell me that for once I would wake up and my parents would care, for once I'd wake up and I wouldn't get comments and looks as I walked down the hall, I wouldn't be constantly criticised by Milly and her tribe. And most of all, tell me that even at the end of the day, during my worst moments, I would finally have someone there, with open arms ready to talk to.

Kaela. I needed to call Kaela. She would be here in moments and we could do anything I wanted or she wanted or nothing at all. Quickly dialling her number I pulled my phone up to my ear.

"Are you alright?" She asked me.

"No Kae, I need you here. Something happened with Luke, I honestly don't know what, it just happened and I wanted him to be here in the morning when I woke up but he wasn't, no one was. Yet again I was left and I just want someone here who will care. Please, I just kind of broke when I was alone, you know me and loneliness don't mix... Kaela... I think I'm going to do something stupid," I stuttered, I was scared. I felt like some weight was on my shoulders and it was slowly crushing me, more and more being adde as I went on in life. I was scared. Of myself.

"Hollie it's okay," she whispered down the phone, I could tell she was out and didn't want to make a scene but I needed her right now before something did happen.

"It's not Kaela, I needed him here, I needed my parents when I broke down, I needed Ashton when I was treated like shit, I needed you when Milly was tearing my life apart. But I never get it and I just, I can't anymore. My life is in ruins. I thought, for a moment, that it was getting better. I thought it was, I honestly did, but it's not and now I just need to, I need to get out okay?" I cried. I didn't know if she could hear me but I think she did.

It was true. Waking up without Luke next to me had hurt like a bitch. It had proved no one wanted to deal with that, I thought he did but he didn't. I wanted to cry out in frustration as I walked back up the stairs, ignoring the hunger that was eating away at my stomach. I couldn't eat right now. Not unless I wanted it all to come up.

"I'll be over in two minutes," Kaela said down the phone before hanging up. I knew she wouldn't be joking, no matter what she was doing she would drop it. Things like that made me want to smile until I couldn't anymore but then I remembered everything else and I sunk back into the pit of nothingness that consumed me constantly.

Grabbing the ice cream out of my freezer, I went and sat down on the sofa. I switched on the TV and flicked through channels as I shovelled the delicious chocolate into my mouth.

My programme got interrupted as the door bell rang. Confused I got up and walked over, usually Kaela would just walk straight in and announce her arrival to me.

There stood my brunette friend, but she wasn't alone. I looked up and she had a boy either side of her. One was brown haired and brown eyed and the other... blonde hair and blue eyed, the exact boy I had wished I had seen in the morning and wished wasn't here right now.

"K-Kael-" I couldn't carry on. Looking up at Luke was like a stab to the chest. Or to the wrist. I grabbed it instantly and started itching as I looked up at both the taller figures. Kaela's eyes instantly fluttered to my activity and her face grew panicked.

"Let me explain Hollie." She was trying but I could barely hear her over my heavy breathing and uneven heart beat. "I was with these two when you phoned me and they saw that I was coming to see you and I couldn't say no," She pathetically lied. I was beginning to think she cared more for these boys now.

"Yes you could have. No. Look I just did, you knew I wasn't happy so you brought two people I don't like?" I snapped. I saw Luke flinch visibly from the corner of my eye but I didn't care. I didn't care what I felt for him the night before, or this morning. Right now I was so upset that I was angry.

"Hollie don't say that, I know you like them!" She wasn't annoyed she was frustrated and worried, I could tell. Every two seconds I knew her eyes were on my wrist but I didn't care.

"Kaela I just wanted a day with you, I wanted to talk about things and just mess around. Everything we do now involves them and I don't know how that happened but I don't like it, I miss us, I need us." I know I seemed to do a lot of needing recently but I don't care. It was true. I felt like the relationship between us had become more distant and I missed our random days out or in, talking and doing nothing.

"I'm sorry," she said finally getting where I was coming from. She turned to face both boys, who were now behind her, and gave them a look which I knew they understood as they both nodded at the smaller figure and walked away like it was their job.

I sighed as she finally entered my house, alone.

"I'm honestly so sorry they wouldn't leave me! I was trying to make an escape but they insisted they came to make sure you were okay, you have two boys at your feet Hollie," she said referring to the two that had left.

"Well that's funny because me and Luke spent the night together, not doing anything but watching films and just doing nothing and he said he wouldn't leave and I wouldn't kick him out, but when I woke up he was gone again. What a way to show he cares! Do you know how much that hurts? When you realise you have no one? I looked for him, praying he actually cared enough to stay but he didn't and then you bring him over here like everything is okay when actually everything is shit right now and I know I'm probably making a mountain out of a mole hill but I don't care because this feels like a mountain to me. And not just any mountain, fucking Mount Everest. He can't waltz over here like he cares with you because he feels like it then leave me when I actually need him! I just can't wait around and hope and pray he's in the right mood for me! I knew I had made a mistake opening up to him. Well you know what, no, I'm fed up, I'm done. I'm not putting up with this shit and getting hurt again. No matter who it is, whoever I end up trusting always seems to be the wrong person. He can piss off back to Milly, he was probably only doing this for her amusement anyway. God I hate myself!"

"No Hollie don't! He does ca-"

"No Kaela, he really doesn't and I'm done. I'm done with them all. If he thinks he can toy around with me he's wrong. I was getting over this, I was stronger before they started moving in. And I was happy, if I just act like they didn't move in, and ignore them, then everything will be fine. No more drama. I just need peace for a while Kaela, before I completely shatter again, I'm too close to cracking. I know what I have to do." She looked at me and I knew she was concerned.

"Don't do anything you'll regret Hol," She warned. I sighed knowing that was impossible in this situation and I think she knew that too.

"I'll try," I smiled weakly before walking up to my room with Kaela following me slowly.

A/N: Sorry I know this is awful and you're probably getting fed up with her mood swings but I just felt that it being all happy wasn't enough and there should be a little plot twist or whatever you want to call it.

Love you guys heappsss and please let me know what you think of the updateeeee :-) xx