Moving In || l.r.h

• 14 •

I made sure that Kaela wasn't worrying about me before driving off back home for the night. I had calmed down from earlier once I had spoken to Kaela some more. Luckily Luke was off as well so English was a lot easier. But no matter what I tried to do the question was always at the back of my head. Did Ashton not want to be with me because he was with Milly?

"Mum I'm going out!" I yelled as I stepped through the door. I didn't know where I was going but I didn't want to stay stuck in the house for another day.

"Is Kaela with you?" She shouted back. She wasn't as strict on the 'grounding' they had given me but she didn't want me going and having fun.

"No! She's out with other friends I just want some air I'll be back later!" I replied walking up into my room. I got changed into a pair of shorts, as it had got hotter during the day, and a vest on, with a light cardigan over the top.

"Be back before 10 or you won't be able to see Kaela all weekend!" She loved to punish me by using Kaela. Grounding didn't really bother me because I would go out anyway and I didn't like people, but Kaela I couldn't live without and she knew that.

"Mum!" I groaned walking back down the stairs grabbing my bag on the way.

"I don't care what you say back before 10 young lady or there's no Kaela! And I'll tell her mum so she knows as well!" She was not in a good mood and I didn't want to test her so I walked out of the house without another word. I wouldn't be back before 10 but she'd be asleep by then anyway.

I walked over to my car and got in. I didn't know where I was going and I didn't care, I just needed to get out. I needed to clear my head and this is the only way I could. The engine roared into motion and I backed out of the drive. I drove, not even paying attention to the road. My thoughts took over my mind and all I could focus on was how stupid I was. I was stupid for thinking Ashton actually cared for me, I was stupid for trusting him, I was stupid for letting anyone in but most of all I was stupid for thinking my life had got better.

Suddenly my wrists started to itch and I rolled up my sleeves. Looking down at them I swore the old scars and bruises from the last time my life had got bad and I shook back the tears that we're spilling. I looked at the damaged skin and my eyes poured. I wasn't worth anything. I had promised Kaela that I was better and the truth was I was. Until now. Somehow no matter what Milly knew how to get under my skin. She knew how to piss me off and how to make me feel like nothing. And for some reason the last time she did it wasn't enough. Seeing me broken and damaged wasn't enough. She needed to see me lying on the floor in agony, shattered and blind. And the way it was going she was going to get what she wanted.

The tears wouldn't stop now. They were clouding my vision and when I finally brought my eyes back to the road I was driving straight towards a truck. Half of my mind wanted to speed up and drive into it but the other half got the better of me. One thing I hated more than anything was letting Kaela down, and hurting others. That man in the truck had done nothing wrong.

At the last moment I swerved, earning a long hard stare and beep from the driver. I wiped my tears out of my face and drove a little longer before pulling up into an abandoned parking lot.

Stepping out I looked around. No one was there and it didn't look like anyone had been in a while. I walked over a few rocks and steps and found myself on the edge of a cliff. A small cliff but still one. I looked over the town that was now below me and I noticed how small everything was. Nothing that happened in my life mattered to anyone but me, it didn't effect the world, my problems were nothing, I was nothing. I laughed at how insignificant even my biggest problems were. But that didn't stop them from hurting.

I must have sat at the edge of the cliff for hours because when I finally snapped out of my thoughts it was getting dark and the sun was about to set. It was still warm so I decided to didn't need to leave yet. I went over to my car and got out a blanket I always kept inside and pulled it out so I could lie down and not get muddy. Lying down on it was surprisingly comfortable and within minutes I felt my eyes getting heavier. My phone buzzed and I checked it quickly.