Moving In || l.r.h

• 23 •

I was falling, hard and fast. From where I didn't know and where the floor was I couldn't tell, but I knew that I was gaining speed and soon I was going to hit the floor. I screamed and thrashed around, trying to find something to hold onto but there was nothing. The ground came into view. Well I thought it was the ground.

A hand grabbed mine and I viciously shook to a stop. I looked up and saw Ashton standing there looking down at me. Why he had just saved me I didn't know but all I wanted to do is hug him tight and apologize. I didn't care about what happened or didn't between us. My other hand suddenly got gripped by a different unfamiliar hand, I turned and saw Luke holding it with all his strength. I looked between the two boys, my arms slowly dropping and my body slipping. I had to chose one before I fell. I looked between the two of them, both begging me with their eyes to hold onto them, obviously not seeing each other in the darkness of the hole I had been falling down. My fingers slipped and I fell. Falling was better than choosing right? Wrong. On the way down I heard both of their cries and pleas.

I bolted up straight, panting and out of breath. I had a layer of swear over me and I heard screaming in my ear, silently begging for it to stop before I realized that it was me that was screaming. I shut my mouth and it stopped. I looked around and saw my familiar bedroom.

Slowly I got my breath back and stood up. I walked over to the mirror and my hair was in a mess. That night Luke had come back home with me to make sure that I was okay and wouldn't do anything. We watched a few films in my bed before I fell asleep and I was guessing he left as I could no longer see the blonde boy.

Obviously I had forgotten to take off my makeup, I had black all underneath my eyes where I had been crying whilst awake and asleep.

I walked into my bathroom, and switched my shower on. My phone was on the side so I pressed play on the music before striping and slowly climbing into my shower. The water was boiling but I slowly let my body get used to it. Getting consumed by the tiny drops of water pounding down on me.

For the first time, I properly looked down at what I had done to myself and I felt sick. My wrist was practically covered. I hated myself for what I did but at the same time all I wanted to do was do it again, and again and again. Maybe next time you won't wake up. The more I thought about it the more I wanted it but I quickly got snapped out of it when my favorite song came on.

Paint You Wings by All Time Low. Every time I heard it I just wanted to stop myself and most of the time I did.

"BUT THERE'S A MONSTER STANDING WHERE YOU SHOULD BE!" I shouted the lyrics, picking up my shampoo and singing into it. I couldn't help but smile when singing the song. When it finished another few All Time Low songs came on. I finished in the shower and wrapped the towel around me. The songs weren't finished so I carried the phone out with me. 

I belly flopped onto my bed smiling. I still couldn't wrap my head around Luke and the kiss but whenever I thought of his lips on mine - even if it was for less than a second - I couldn't stop smirking.

I sung along to the shuffled playlist as I got changed and couldn't stop smiling. That was until Greenday got cut off by my phone ringing. Stupidly I didn't check the caller ID as I thought it would be Kaela.

"Yello!" I sung elongating the 'e'.

"Hollie?" My heart stopped. It wasn't Kaela. It was the furthest from Kaela there could be. The Australian accent gave it away.

"A-Ashton?" I stuttered choking on my own words. Why was he calling me? Why now?

"Hi..." he mumbled.

"D-did you call for a reason? Or just to say hi?" I meant for it to be a joke but my nervousness made it sound like bad sarcasm. The lowest form of wit. My dad used to always say to me. I thought it was funny. But not now. Not when I was talking to Ashton after almost a week.