Moving In || l.r.h

• 15 •

"Hey," he said looking at his feet. Just his voice made me shiver. How was it possible to like someone but at the same time hate them for what they could've done? I just couldn't be completely mad at him.

"Hi," I replied. His hands were in his pockets and you could see sand on the ends of his feet from where he was kicking the sand.

"So are you gonna tell me why you literally disappeared off the face of the earth and scared everyone for a week?" he asked not waiting for this to get anymore awkward. I looked around and tried to think of some logical explanation, anything other than the full story, I just wasn't ready for him to know. Not yet.

"After you tell me why Milly was on your phone," I said back. I didn't want to start an argument but I needed to know and I wasn't going to delicately dance around the subject.

"She wasn't there for me, her and Luke bunked the day together because he wasn't feeling good and then they came back to the house. I was in the kitchen and my phone was obviously on the table because when I turned to get it she had grabbed it and was answering for me. She handed it to me but you were already gone. I tried to call you back and explain..." he stopped slowly knowing I didn't want to hear him moan about how I was the one in the wrong. He needed to tell me and he didn't, I reacted badly but she was the one person I hated more than anyone. More than Michael, more than Calum and even more than Luke. She made my life a living hell and he was letting her answer his phone when I was ringing him after a week.

"I just... it hurt and you didn't even try to explain," I spoke slowly looking at my own hands. My first thoughts we're why Milly was spending time with Luke and when they had become close but I didn't dare ask him.

"I know I just, I didn't think you'd want to talk to me after a week." He was right. The last thing I wanted was to talk to anyone after but at the same time I hadn't ever needed him as much, I had never wanted him to be there reassuring me more. And I was scared, because I knew a friendship like this, or whatever it was, would not end well. And I had a pretty good idea on who was getting hurt at the end of it all.

"I didn't, but I still needed you Ash, recently I haven't wanted anyone near me but that's because that's who I am and when I try to finally come back you don't do anything, that makes me feel even worse," I explained. He looked up at me and I couldn't make out the expression on his face.

"Even worse than what? I know you needed space and I gladly gave it to you but you still refuse to tell me anything that's going on with you. I know everyone has secrets but when I have them you get annoyed but when you have them it's normal right? I just don't understand because I care about you as well Hollie! I hate not being able to talk to you and knowing nothing about what's going on! I hate not being able to make sure you're okay, most of all I hate you keeping things from me because I don't know why you do and it frustrates me because I'm trying to make this work!" He was getting wound up, we were going in circles but we were going to keep walking around and around until I was prepared to trust him completely. And I wanted to but I just couldn't. Not yet.

"Ashton we've known each other a couple of weeks! I know that to want me to trust you and I do just not with things like this! When I do trust you I will tell you but you have to realize this is too big... I just can't, why can't you except that?"

"Because I care Hollie, I want to help." He finally shook his hands free of his sleeves and places either one on my shoulders. I shivered at the touch. It wasn't the warm, electric touch I was used to. It was emotionless and harsh and I could feel the frustration.

"Ash-"

"I know, I can't know, but I want to know and it annoys me because we're going in loops with this. Just please, tell me one thing..." he waited for me to nod before he carried on. "Would you ever come to me if things got bad?" He asked. I looked to the floor. How could I answer a question I wasn't sure about myself?