ICE CREAM [ completed ]

Seventy-Eight

I take a long shower and rest my head against the tile as the hot water stings my body. I spend a good ten minutes just pouting to myself over everything that's happened. Regardless, it feels nice to be clean and to dress in something other than sweat pants and white t-shirts. I take some time to style my minty hair and decide on jeans and a black jacket with a white Rolling Stones shirt under. I tug on black boots and my rings, grab my phone and head out.

For a minute I feel like I'm not supposed to be doing what I'm doing. I don't know how to explain it -- it's just a feeling like I'm supposed to keep being miserable and keep laying around, and not get dressed up to see my ex-boyfriend at the cafe.

Regardless, I slip in the Uber and it takes me several minutes downtown. In the middle of the week, the city is as calm as it can be with only light traffic beginning to pile up. It feels like forever since I've been this way. I gaze longingly out the window as we drive. I wonder if I'll ever get over this feeling of not wanting to belong.

I feel so emo it's not even funny.

After a seven minute or so car ride I exit the cab and ruffle my hair. This cafe in particular is familiar and warm, and holds memories both good and bad. If I decide to walk to University I would usually stop by here for breakfast. I've been doing it for four years now, and just the fact that it's the last year of school is surreal. Just down the street a few blocks is my school. It feels strange to be here at this hour, especially knowing that I've missed so much school the last three weeks. I feel undeserving of my own favorite place.

I let out a sigh and that's when I see Park Jimin sitting at the table outside. He's reading a book and has his legs crossed over his knee, and he hasn't seen me yet. I inhale deeply and bite the inside of my lip, unsure of what I'm feeling. Jimin has always been beyond beautiful, and although I recognize the outfit he's wearing from his silly-faced snap he sent me a few hours ago, it's almost too easy to sink back into how attracted I am to him.

I guess that'll never really go away.

I've seen him at the games but I've done well at literally ignoring every part of him. But now, I've voluntarily come to see him...and I'm confused more than ever.

I walk up to him and he notices me coming. He smiles with his eyes and gives a small wave with his hand. I'm thankful that he doesn't get up to hug me or greet me in any particular way.

"Hi!" he motions to the chair next to him and I take a seat. I see he already has a latte, and his backpack is on the table as well. He moves it out of the way to the ground. "How's it feel to be outside?"

"It's actually nice," I give a dry laugh. "Fresh air is nice,"

Jimin nods in response. The waitress comes over and I give her my order.

"I think we should start with the really blunt things first," Jimin says and I raise my eyebrows at him.

"Oh? And what's that?"

"You need to go back to school," he tells me and I roll my eyes. "You are so close to graduating Yoongi hyung. Just tough it out, okay? You only have a few more weeks left,"

"I didn't realize I'd be coming here to get a pep talk," I glare. He ignores my comment.

"The second thing is this," Jimin says and leans on his arms cutely to look at me. I appear uninterested. "I'm not trying to get back together. I promise I'm not,"

"It's really hard to believe. Being friends with your ex is almost impossible," I retaliate.

"You don't have to believe me. I gave you space after what happened last semester at the hotel for a reason,"

"You were literally at all of my games, Jimin,"

"I wasn't there for you entirely. Don't think so highly of yourself," Jimin smiles again. I squint my eyes, unsure if I believe him entirely. "Try to remember that I lost a lot of friends too after everything that happened last year with us. Hoseok's games were the only thing that got me out of the house when I came back to the city. Sure, you were just a nice added touch. But try not to look at it like that. I wanted to see you play not because I missed you romantically, but just because I missed the environment,"

"I guess that makes sense," I agree with a sigh. "You should have just said something, though,"

Jimin shrugs. "I didn't want to push it. I wanted to show you that I wasn't back here for you. I'm not saying we have to be best friends, or even friends at that, but I'd like to be civil, and maybe move on from what happened,"

"It's not that easy, Jimin. And honestly I don't have the willpower to try right now. You cheated on me and that was it. It fucked me. You lost friends because everyone realized what a piece of crap you were. I just don't have the energy mentally or emotionally to deal with this after going through my own dating issues lately,"

"Then why did you come?" Jimin asks and I know it's innocent, and it's not intended to be vile. Looking at him, I know he's not a terrible guy. For a year I've been bitter because of what he did and it's always easier to make him out to be the worst person in the world than to face the facts.

Deep down, Jimin wasn't happy with me. And neither was I. I know he didn't cheat to hurt me.

It's a weird situation.

"Why did you move back, anyway?" I dare to ask. Jimin presses his lips together as if he knew I may or may not ask that question. My coffee comes and I thank the waitress. "I initially moved away because the guilt was sort of all consuming but...honestly this is my home. This is my cafe and my block. My theater and my park. I wanted to come home. There isn't an ulterior motive, Yoongi hyung. I'd have hoped by now you could see that,"

"Sorry, but my trust level on people's stories and excuses these days is sort of on high alert. Especially with my ex being involved in the mix," I say.

"You don't have to tell me but...I'm here to listen if you want to talk about these crazy stories," Jimin suggests. He's always been so kind and considerate, and forever open to other peoples issues rather than his own. It hurts my pride to admit that it's impossible to truly hate him. "Considering I have no idea what the fuck is going on it might even give you a new perspective,"

I contemplate the option for a moment while I sip my drink. I sigh and give in. "Alright...it all sort of started with this little mother fucker named Jeon Jungkook,"