I'll Still Love You (Kaisoo Fanfic)

Chapter 40

Where is Jongin was the first thing that Kyungsoo thought when he woke up. No one was occupying the space beside him on the bed, and the curtains were pulled tightly over the windows so no sunlight was streaming through or illuminating the room, giving it an ominous look, and Kyungsoo almost mistook it for being night from how dark it looked. The room was fucking freezing and Kyungsoo's arms were covered in goosebumps, even though the covers were pulled up to his shoulders.

"Jongin?" No answer came to Kyungsoo, and he was even more confused. Jongin could've just been in the bathroom, but then why didn't he reply to Kyungsoo when he called out to him? Crawling out of bed, Kyungsoo pulled on a pair of boxers and one of Jongin's large hoodies with his jeans.

The second his foot exited the bedroom, Kyungsoo was shivering all over. It was colder in the hallway. What was going on? Did Jongin forget to turn the heater up last night? It was pretty warm when Kyungsoo had fallen asleep, but that could've just been because arousal was still coursing through his body and pumping in his veins, keeping him nicely heated, along with Jongin's warmth that rubbed off onto Kyungsoo during their love-making and stayed with him even after he had dozed off. The freezing air in the condo, though, didn't seem like a good sign, but maybe Kyungsoo was just being paranoid.

"Jongin?" Kyungsoo called again, and Kyungsoo thought he heard shuffling, and he turned his head and came across Jongin who was just walking out of the kitchen with something being pulled behind him. At first, Kyungsoo was about to burst with happiness because Jongin hadn't died like he thought, until he took in how emotionless Jongin looked. Dark, heavy bags hung under Jongin's eyes and his eyes looked red and puffy, as if he had just been crying. His hair was messy and he looked sleep deprived.

But nonetheless, Kyungsoo was happy to see him, especially since he didn't get his morning kisses yet. "Jongin!" Kyungsoo ran up to Jongin and threw his arms around him while burying his face in Jongin's neck. "Why weren't you in bed this morning? I thought you vanished or something without me."

"I'm sorry," Jongin apologized as he rested his hand on the small of Kyungsoo's back.

Giggling, Kyungsoo replied, "No, it's fine."

"No, I'm sorry. Not for being out of bed when you woke up, but for everything."

Kyungsoo slowly pulled away from Jongin and frowned. "Everything? What are you talking about? You didn't do anything to hurt me, and you never will--"

"No," Jongin cut in, his hands curling into fists and his nails digging into the palm of his hand, "I'm sorry for everything I'm going to do to you."

"What-"

"I want to break up." Kyungsoo's frown deepened before his expression lightened.

Kyungsoo laughed, not really understanding the joke. "Jongin, your joke isn't funny. That's too upsetting to be a joke. Try to come up with a better one next time."

Just like Kyungsoo, Jongin wished he could laugh and think it was a joke, but it wasn't. He was doing this, and everything was real. "N-No, I'm serious. I want to end things between us. I don't want there to be an us anymore. I'm sorry I'm saying this all so early in the morning, but it's the truth."

The laughter ringing through the condo suddenly seized and Jongin squeezed his eyes shut at the deafening silence that replaced the noise. "I'm- What? Jongin, I don't- I can't understand. W-Where... How did this come to be?" When Jongin didn't say anything, Kyungsoo tried grabbing Jongin's hand, but Jongin pulled away from him and took a few steps back. "J-Jongin? What's going o-on? Why a-are you suddenly doing this?"

Kyungsoo was ready to laugh. This was obviously a joke that Jongin was playing on him. It had to be.

Right when tears collected in Jongin's eyes, he suppressed them and blinked them back so Kyungsoo wouldn't notice. "I-I don't want you, Kyungsoo. You should know by now that relationships aren't my thing. I don't do relationships. It surprised me that I kept ours for this long even when I didn't want to." Okay, that was a lie, and Jongin's chest tightened with each word, every syllable tasting like poison on his tongue. He sucked his bottom lip into his mouth to keep himself from crying and a bit of blood was starting to gather under his fingernails from how hard Jongin was curling his fists and piercing the skin of his palm with his nails.