Diary Qina

Part 43

Its been a month. Uncle Qhoftar had a arranged a proper merisik. He sent his personal assistant, Talhah and Syed's maid. I forget what her name was. I think it was Murni or something but they definitely called her "bibik". 

Anyways, the dates were set. They akad nikah will be on my birthday that is the 16th September. That's just months away. I just couldn't believe that I'm getting married. I'm just worried that I could be a good wife.

I told dad that I don't have to have a wedding ceremony because there would be plenty of sheepish things to do and I have loads of things to do well mostly school work. Reminding me about school work would be a bit stressful. To me one word could remind me a whole incident. I just wondered since Syed got back we got in a lot of fights. He said sorry then I said sorry then we fight again. There's too many roses in my room because he will always buy 12 of em everytime we fight. 

There's this one time, I was having a discussion with Halim. Well, he's my classmate and groupmate. Before that, Syed asked me out for lunch but I told I'm having a discussion about my first assignment. He sounded a bit dissapointed but then he said okay. Then I hung up.  What I forget to tell him was I was discussing with a guy. 

So then, it was 12 o'clock and I was at the park with Halim. I wasn't quite sure how did he manage so find me there but he did. I was surprised as in a happy surprise but on the other hand he was in a jealous surprise. 

"Qina kata busy buat assignment dengan group?" he asked.

"Yeah, Halim is my groupmate. Well he divided us into partners actually," I explained reffering Prof Anderson as 'he'.

"Halim huh? Why didn't you mentioned partner?" he asked. I know that tone. He was jealous. I do understood why because we were parted for two years and when he wanted to spend time with me he saw me spend time with Halim.

"Syed, could you not? We're studying not that we're dating. You could help us if you want," I said.

"Its okay. This is for you anyway. I thought you were hungry," he said while giving me a bag of char kuey teow in two tupperwares. 

"You want us to go and eat somewhere and come back here again?" I asked. 

"Its okay. You just eat with your partner," he said while keeping his eyes on Halim. Halim was a nerdy type of guy but he wears cool clothes. He wasn't aware of Syed present because he was so keen on solving the calculas. 

"I'll make it up to you for dinner maybe?" I asked.

"We'll see," he said and walked away. I couldn't be bothered because my mind was just focusing on the algebra problems. Since its an algebra and calculas so we decided to split up. 

So that night I called him and asked him out for dinner at Bubba Gump, Citta Mall since dad won't allow to go out too far with him (because we're unmarried couples to go jauh-jauh =_=). But then he said he couldn't because he had something else to do. His old friend, Elina wanted to see him. I knew he wanted to make me jealous. So I just said okay. It tends to be true and he was questioning wether I love him or not. It started to become so annoying.

"Are you on your period?" I asked.

"No, but you are. You're not even jealous hearing that I'm going out with another girl and you're mad because I asked you if you love me back?" he said.

"I told you Syed, I can't say that I love you but I like you. Whatever it is I've choosen you to be my husband. Then after that I could say that I love you," I said.

"So you're uncertain?" he asked.

"Syed don't let me remind me of it. I hate it. I hate why I can't say that I love you because of my past. I will only love you once you are my legal husband and that's final. I don't wanna fight with you right now. Its a bad time," I said. 

"So its true then," he said.

"Fine, if this is you an immature, selfish, a guy who has period and likes to be jealous then I don't know if you're going to be my husband," I said.

"Really? Fine," he said and slammed down the phone. The next day morning, he came as early as 7.30 before I left for school and brought me breakfast with 12 bunch of roses. Well mostly we'll argue of things like that. Since, he's bored at home searching for a job while I'm studying it is so obvious we're fighting because he's just so restless and I tend to be freakin' busy. 

So as I said, I didn't want to have a ceremony on my side but dad and umi insisted. Mama too. They all said according to our religion we must held a ceremony to avoid fitnah. So I agreed to make a simple one. Not at home and not at the garden like I told Syed in New York earlier but at the Carcosa Sri Negara. Its a nice place althought its quite pricey but dad told me I could pick anywhere as long as I held a wedding ceremony. 

When I told dad that I wanted to held the ceremony there he automatically agreed because he said there won't be any fuss because the food will depends on the caterer and the wedding will be held indoors not at the garden but when we called the manager said someone else booked indoor and we had to held the wedding outdoor. I told Syed about it and he's okay.

So I had a class at 3 today and tomorrow is a Friday. I told dad last week that I'm taking Syed to visit Mama in Kota Bharu this weekend and he agreed. He said that its been awhile. When I told Syed he was delighted. He said he never been to Kota Bharu before and searching the web about it made him excited especially those beaches. 

I told Syed that I wanted him to drive but he said its better to book a flight a rent a car as it will save time. We argued about that too. I told it would be expensive and I'm saving up for the life after the wedding so does he (I mean he should). Unfortunately, I gave in because I can't stand another fight with him. I'm too tired of fighting. Biaslah kalau dah anak Tan Sri tu duit tu sepak kaki je. Manja pun satu. Macam manalah kalau aku kahwin nanti? Macam aku je yang jadi suami dia jadi bini. Who's going to lead our lives to be on the right path ? Sometimes (since he came back) his attitude gave me second thoughts. He acted so immature lately and I don't understand why. He was a self reliant back then. I hope he'll change and stop being a spoilt brat.