Moving In || l.r.h

• 22 •

"Are you okay?" Kaela asked her hands finding the source of pain. I looked ahead of me and Luke was stood up as if he was about to jump to the other side of the table and hold me close just like he did the night before. And I wanted that more than anything. But he didn't do either. He slowly sat down next to Michael, and opposite me. 

Ashton. I couldn't do that to him. You wouldn't be doing anything he called it off remember? I sighed and lent on Kaela for support. For once I just wanted this to be easy.

Once I had taken my head off of Kaela and could sit up by myself Luke's eyes watched mine, looking hurt. I felt bad but I quickly shook the feeling off.

********

"Are you actually going to eat something this lunch?" Calum asked concerned. I had been staring at my food since Luke had sat down about fifteen minutes ago, not talking to anyone. I couldn't eat, I looked at it and looked at it but I couldn't. I'd throw up, I knew I would.

"Uh- I-I'm not h-hungry," I said pushing the plate away from me, standing up and walking away again. It seemed like that was the only thing I ever did nowadays.

"Well done dipshit," I heard Luke spit at Calum before he got up and walked after me. Everyone was looking at me walking out, or Luke running after me. I shivered and walked faster, knowing Luke would do the same. His legs were a lot longer than mine and he could easily catch up with me but he didn't want to do it in the middle of everyone and I thanked him for it, in my head.

"I'm not letting you run away anymore Hollie," he said as he grabbed my wrist and turned me around. I crumpled to the floor in pain at the tight grasp on my cuts. "Are you okay?" He gasped, catching me before I hit the floor.

When he pulled me up we were face to face and his familiar arms were around me once more, I let out a long breath and melted into his arms, resting my head on his shoulders before I started crying. I needed this so bad but I couldn't have it.

"Hey," he said pulling me away and wiping my tears with his thumb but I turned my head. "Hollie please don't block me out, I can't take it any longer. I need you - I mean I need to know you're okay. What just happened?" He asked me directing his gaze towards my wrists quickly before I pulled at my sleeves and put them behind my back.

"I-I just I can't Luke, the last time I opened up to someone it went wrong and I ended up the joke of the year, it can't happen again, I wouldn't be able to go through that again, something even worse would happen," I said hugging the large boy closer. He quickly wrapped his arms around me and laid his head on the top of mine.

"I would never do that to you Hollie, please believe me," he said. He grabbed my wrists and pulled them off of him so I was facing him. I flinched violently and gritted my teeth, trying not to let the obvious pain show. But he caught on and took his hands away, I let out a breath I had been holding so I didn't scream and almost immediately I saw the clock tick in his head. "Hollie?..." I pulled my wrists away from his worried eyes yet again but this time he stopped me, making sure he didn't grip them too hard. I still flinched and that was all the evidence he needed I guess before he started shaking.

"Luke," I said putting my hand to his face, trying calm him down but he stormed away hitting the nearest locker with so much force I wondered how it didn't break.

"Why?! Why Hollie? Who did this to you!" He yelled. There was no one but us in the hallway but if Luke carried on there would definitely be a few more and I couldn't have that. I wanted to run, but this time even if I did run there was nowhere for me to hide.

"No one did it to me Luke," I admitted looking at my feet, I let the tears roll down my cheeks and I felt him rush towards me. He brushed my cheeks with his palms.

"What?" The look in his eyes told me he didn't understand, but I couldn't say it out loud. It would make it all too real. "Hollie why? When? You don't deserve this," He was beginning to well up and I could tell.

"I do though Luke, I messed you around, leading you on and everything just got too much, all the words and names came back and I remembered how it was last time I let Milly in, I can't Luke, I can't," I whispered into his chest.

"I-Milly did this?" He said in sudden realization. "And I sided with her..." He stepped away from me until he hit the wall, like he was scared and ashamed of himself. "You hated me because you didn't want to get hurt again and then I made friends with the one person that made you hurt in the first place? I forced this on you. This is my fault." He was looking at me but I knew he wasn't paying attention.

"Luke this isn't your-"

"Without me you wouldn't have done this to yourself! Tell me when you did it Hollie! Prove to me it isn't my fault!" He demanded.

"T-T..." I couldn't tell him. How could I trust this boy? No that wasn't it. The problem was I trusted him, too much. I couldn't tell him that I cut because he would think it was his fault and it wasn't.

"Tell me Hollie," He said slowly stepping closer to me, I tried to back up but when I hit the lockers I knew I was stuck. He gained on me and looked down at me with a new look in his eyes. "Tell me, please," he begged. Scared. He was scared of me.

"Yesterday..." I stuttered. He hit the locker behind me and I flinched away from him.

"Let me help you," he said after a few minutes of looking into each other's eyes.

"Luke you can't..."

"Don't say that Hollie! I can! Just please let me in! I won't hurt you, I need to know you're okay, please," he pleaded. I looked up at the blue eyed boy and saw tears forming. I couldn't say no. I wrapped my damaged arms around his neck and nodded.

"I have a lot of baggage," I sighed looking up to him.

"I'll carry it for you," he whispered into my ear before he brushed his lips across mine making every inch of me set alight. I was never going to get used to that.