Don't Judge Me (Being Edited)

17_ Friday Night

It’s very hard climbing up the side of a house in a dress.

I don’t know why I didn’t use the door that Friday, like a normal person. Maybe because that night I didn’t feel normal, I felt superhuman.

I'm going to compare it to reaching the end of the book, because that’s how I am.

My happily ever after.

It wasn’t one of those books where you feel cheated or you need to read the sequel.

It was one where you felt better off for reading it. When the book stops the story still continues in your head, making up small wonders that characters go through, creating your own world of magic.

In short I was happy. Luke was like a little pill of happiness.

As I knocked on Callum’s bedroom window I felt invincible, and slightly high, worse than I’d been in the English controlled assessments.

Cal’s disgruntled little face popped up and when he realised it was me (though who else would it have been) all the creases on his expression smoothed out into a smile, only to be then replaced by a slight frown.

I balanced on his ledge, expertly, while he opened his window. “What are you doing here?” he inquired.

I looked at him dubiously, “You remember me, right? It’s Toni. We do practically everything together.”

He sent me a wry smile and moved out of the way so I could come in.

Let me tell you, no matter how warm that dress was, the breeze going up that thing while I was waiting for Callum was torture.

I hugged myself for warmth as Callum shut the window behind me. “I know who you are, Toni. I just thought you didn’t want to know me anymore.”

It was my turn to frown at him. “Why wouldn’t I want to know you anymore?”

He shrugged stiffly and sat on the bed going back to what he was doing before, looking through pictures on his camera.

I sat on his bed next to him, moving up until our legs touched, and watched my best friend. He was wearing the suit he’d worn to the wedding. But I'm not going to tell you about that, not now anyway. I don’t know why he looked different, I mean our school uniforms were basically suits, but in that Callum looked laid back and comfortable, like a normal teenager. In the suit he looked… different. He was still Callum but a lot more condensed, organised, to the point, mature even, that is until he opened his mouth. It was kind of nice to see Callum looking different but still pointing out all of the similarities. I wondered, fleetingly if I looked different in my dress. Did I still look like a little girl or was Luke right? Did I look sexy? I almost laughed out loud at the ludicrousness of it all but stopped myself instead thinking about our kiss, our dance, my Luke.

“Toni!” Callum yelled and I jumped.

“What?” I shrieked.

Cal started laughing, “You’re such a girl.”

I glared at him, “Boys squeal too, your voice was higher than mine until about 6 months ago.” (Ah, high-pitched Callum, he could do Michael Jackson so well. And when his voice actually did break it was HILARIOUS).

“Not that.” He told me, “You got all… wistful.”

I frowned. I was wistful? I was never wistful, I didn’t think about boys, not regularly anyway, not in a way that would make me blank out. Did I?

“You’re doing it again.” Callum sighed.

“I'm not being wistful, I'm thinking.” I stated.