Don't Judge Me (Being Edited)

55 _ Sweet

Yes it sounds sweet now. Things may be sweet when you're reminiscing. You forget certain things. But now I remember. I remember the end. It won't be sweet for long.

One of us should have kissed each other – you know, since we were in love and all – but neither of us tried anything. It wasn't like I was waiting for him to kiss me, no, I was too busy trying to deconstruct and reconstruct his face in my mind. Taking tabs, remembering, because loving Callum didn't change much. I would still leave.

At the time I didn't think of him kissing me. It was completely natural that we were staring at each other. Now it seems odd. But I know the end, so I would notice something like that wouldn't I?

Callum's grin didn't fade. In fact it intensified.

It stopped me from taking the words back. How could I when I had never made anyone look as happy as Callum did that night with words?

"Every single part of you is beautiful." He said. Well he slurred. I don't know what it was, maybe it was the party or how sad it had made me or how happy Callum made me, but I hadn't realised how drunk we were.

I laughed so hard and he laughed too. I couldn't stand straight and my eyes were blurred. "I have to sit down." I said, and when I tried to I fell. Callum was there to fall on me as per usual.

"Ouch." I cried.

"Sorry." He said, he kissed my cheek. It was sloppy. "I am so very, very, very, very" – I'm not sure how many 'very's he said, but I remember the sounds his mouth made, it was like opera I thought – "very, very sorry."

I shook my head wildly. I swear I could hear the alcohol swishing around my brain. "I don't accept. You're meant to catch me when I fall, not fall on top of me."

He pouted.

"No. No looking cute, I'm mad at you."

"You think I'm cute?" Callum said grinning wildly at me.

I rolled my eyes, "Of course I do. You're always cute."

The smile on his face made me want to compliment him more.

"And you're smart and kind and hopeful and handsome and so, so, so... nice. You're so nice." I repeated, "And you make me feel like all those things too."

He laughed, got off of me and pulled e onto is lap. "I'm so glad you came back. I can't wait for..." he paused in thought, "I can't wait until..."

I couldn't wait to hear what he couldn't wait for. But I had to. In fact I am still waiting because at that moment the back door open and Susie came spilling out. "TONI! IT'S OUR SONG. COME ON!" she screamed.

I cocked my head to the side, "We have a song?"

Her painted face looked horribly offended, "You don't remember?!"

I thought, I swung a little in Callum's lap. He enjoyed me being there. He poked at my side and nuzzled my shoulder.

"What are you two lovebirds doing?" Susie asked, forgetting my faux pas.

"Just sitting." I sang.

She covered her ears, "Well come on. It's S-Club 7!"

I giggled and bundled out of Callum's lap. "Oh my gosh! I forgot. I can't believe I forgot!" I rapped my head with my knuckles, it hurt. "I'm such a poo poo head sometimes."

Callum sniggered, "Ha! Poo poo head."

"Well come on." Susie said, grabbing my hand and dragging me away with her.