American Woman: Book 4

Chapter 66

The next morning, Amy came by with my medication. I could hear her and Prince conversing in the living room as I lay in bed.
"So what's going on? Why does she need these pills so urgently?" Amy questioned.
"Her psychosis is back...."
"Oh no! Is she hearing and seeing things again?" She asked worriedly. "She seemed fine to me last night at the wedding."
"No, I don't think she's having hallucinations or hearing voices this time. It seemed like milder things until last night. She kept saying things were crawling on her and then got out of bed and started cutting herself with a knife to get it to come out." Prince sighed. "I think I would almost rather have the delusions back. I don't know. At least before she didn't use a knife, or any sort of weapon, on herself. So, in a way, I think it may have gotten worse."
"Oh my god, I'm so sorry. You can't let her around the girls..."
"I know. I'm not. Lenny and Mayte have them. I'm going to call them in a little bit and see if they can keep them for at least a couple more days." Prince responded.
"Well if they can't, Shawn and I can. I may not be the best babysitter, but Shawn would be...."
"Thanks. I appreciate it. I just dread the next day or two or however long it takes before the meds kick in. I have no idea what I'm in store for. But I know I can't let her out of my sight. I actually better get back up there. Even five minutes is too long to not be watching her right now. She's unpredictable."
"Of course, get back up there. Let us know if we can do anything to help. Again, I'm so sorry. I really thought she was getting better. I just hope you don't have to eventually put her in a psych ward or something..."
"Amy, please! That's not going to happen. Not on my watch. She's my wife and the mother of my children, and I would never do that to her, or to us. She will get better. She has to." He says hopefully, almost like he was trying to convince himself.
As he comes into the bedroom and hands me the pills and a glass of water, I sit up and take one from the bottle and swallow it. "You know, maybe it isn't a bad idea for me to going to the looney bin..."
"Jensen, don't start...."
"You even said yourself you dread me until the meds kick in..."
"I didn't say I dreaded YOU, I just said I dread what could happen. I'm just scared you may hurt yourself baby. That's all I meant." Prince explained.
"Well if you check me in somewhere I'm sure I would be on round the clock surveillance, so maybe that's the best thing." I suggest.
"I can give you round the clock surveillance..."
"No, you need to sleep at some point. What are you going to do? Stay awake for two or three days straight? Or more?"
"It's not like I've never done it before. Lucky for you, you're married to a slight insomniac." He chuckled. "I'm not going to discuss this any further. You are staying here with me for however long it takes. End of discussion. Now I'm going to call Lenny and Mayte and see if they can watch the girls until we are ready to get them."
I decided to go take a shower while he made his phone call, mainly because I didn't want to listen to him explain what was going on with me. Prince couldn't be more incredible but that doesn't stop the fact that I still feel shame and embarrassment about it. After a few minutes, I could feel his presence slip up behind me as I rinsed my body of the suds. He wrapped his arms around my waist and pecked the top of my shoulder. "All taken care of..."
"The girls need clothes and..."
"They said they would handle everything..."
"They don't need to go buy clothes when we have stuff for them that we can take over." I huff.
"Baby I will pay them back for anything they buy. I didn't want to go over there because seeing the girls will only make you want to bring them home even more, and me too. We will call them everyday. It's not like last time. They'll be back in just a few days, at the most, momma." He assured me.
"I hope you're right. But it is not a guaranteed that the pills will work quickly. Hell they may not even work at all this time. Have you considered that?! Then what will you do?!" I panic.
"They'll work. I don't know why you want me to give up on you so bad, but I won't. Please don't let this bump in the road detour all the progress that's been made the last few months. Things are going to be just fine. I know it sucks and it's scary but we can handle it. We always do." He says, spinning me around to face him. "You know if we just spend the next couple of days making love, they'll pass real quick."
"Oh, so crazy girl sex must HAVE been good." I chuckled.
"It's always good with you, momma." He replies, leaning down to capture my lips. I wrap my arms around his neck and he pulls back to break the kiss. "How's your arm today?" He asked, turning it to check out my self inflicted wound.
"It's fine." I assure him. "Please don't tell anymore people than you already have about this. I know I'm not a big star like you, but I don't want everyone knowing my business either..."
"I'm sorry, babe. I shouldn't have told the details to anyone other than Laura. My lips are sealed." He promised.
"It's just utterly embarrassing..."
"I understand. But please don't dwell on it. We have all done things in our life we aren't proud of. Let's just move on and move forward."