American Woman: Book 4

Chapter 30

The good times rolled for a couple more weeks. Prince was a very observant and attentive husband and father. He was really good to make sure Devon didn't feel like any of her thunder was getting stolen and knew I had to spend more time with the baby since I was breastfeeding and couldn't always be at her beck and call. So many times while I was nursing, he would go play with her outside or in her playroom or curl up and watch tv with her. Of course Devon did sometimes see me nursing and was very curious and inquisitive about the whole thing. The first time she saw me do it she had Prince and me rolling in laughter bc she asked "momma, you got a bottle in there?!"
I tried my best to explain that mommy's body makes milk for the baby to drink. Then of course she asked if she could have some and I had to tell her it was just for babies and she was a big girl, even though a huge part of me just wanted to tell her yes so she wouldn't feel left out and hell some people do still nurse kids her age. Overall though we were pleasantly surprised by how well Devon had adjusted to the new baby so far. For the most part she paid no mind to her, which I felt was a better option than being mean to her or acting jealous. Of course I knew things would change as they both got older and as Waverly became mobile and able to play with Devon's toys. So I was savoring the fact that they were existing separate, but equal, for now.
Not only was Prince being a superior father of two and juggling it nicely, he was also being an exceptional husband. Anytime I needed a nap, he was ushering me to bed and taking over all the duties for the girls. He was splitting time with me and taking turns getting up in the middle of the night with Waverly. He was finding ways to get meals taken care of bc I told him I was on strike for a few weeks. He was comforting me anytime I was on the verge of a breakdown over stupid, silly things like Devon going two days without a bath and me forgetting to kiss her before she went to bed one night and all the other times I felt like I was failing as a parent.
Even though we were both exhausted, his sexual appetite and ability had seemed to come back with a vengeance and he somehow persuaded me to pleasure him in some way most days. Not that I minded and he most certainly deserved it. He even convinced me to let him manually stimulate my clit less than two weeks after having the baby. I wasn't near as nervous as the first time after Devon but I, of course, wasn't ready for anything more quite yet. For the most part I felt pretty good and was able to just use Ibuprofen to alleviate any discomfort the first couple of weeks.
Right around the time Waverly was three weeks though, things started backsliding. Over the course of the next three weeks before I went back for my six week checkup, Prince slowly stopped doing all the things he had excelled at the first three weeks. He was back to minimal interaction with the kids and even me. He spent much of the day laying around or asleep, and most of the time I preferred him not awake bc when he was, he was irritable and argumentative with everyone. He barely helped with anything and the only times he would was when I felt like I had to badger him into it, so it eventually became not worth it and so I did everything, for everyone, on my own. He had again lost all interest in anything sexual and the couple times I tried pleasing him, he was limp as a noodle. I was so confused and upset that I didn't even want him coming to my six week checkup. I just wanted to get away for awhile, so I said a little prayer that he would actually take care of our two little girls and left for my appointment that afternoon.
Dr. Thatcher greeted me warmly as always and asked about Waverly and how Devon was adjusting to being a big sister. I smiled as I talked about my two precious blessings. She probed a little more and I started feeling a little uncomfortable with her prying and wondered if maybe I was answering the questions incorrectly. Finally she had me lay back so she could give me the physical exam. After she finished up, she cleared her throat and began to say things that were going to rock my world. "So Jensen, you've healed up really nicely. You should be able to resume all regular activity, exercise and sexual. Honey, I know you had a natural birth this time but honestly the healing process afterwards is the same whether you had an epidural or not. It's only during the delivery where it would be different."
"Ummmm...ok." I say, staring at her with what a I had to presume was a look of total confusion.
"So no more Percocet refills. I see no physical reason you would still need them. You are healed. You shouldn't be having any pain. Is something still painful?"
"No, I..." I mutter, trying to wrap my brain around what she was saying.
"So then my next assumption is maybe you are experiencing some sort of postpartum depression but your answers to my questions seemed normal. Are you trying to alleviate some mental or emotional pain with the Percocet?" She asked in concern.
"No, I haven't even..."
"Jensen, you need to be completely honest with me. I am your doctor. I'm here to help in anyway I can. I'm afraid you have developed a dependency on them..."
"Dr. Thatcher, you are mistaken I'm afraid. I haven't taken a single Percocet since I left the hospital. I never even filled the first prescription." I explained.
"Ok Jensen I know that's not the truth. Your husband has called every week to get you a refill...."
"What?!" I shrieked.
The realization was evident in both our faces at the same time. I was speechless as I tried to process what she just told me and come to terms with the fact that Prince was obviously taking my pain pills. "Um..." I began before she cut me off.
"I can only assume your husband is either taking them himself or selling them. From the shock on your face, I am going to trust you had no idea and are not involved in his illegal activity...."
My heart began to pound in my ears as she said those words. As mad as I was at him, thinking about him being arrested was scaring the shit out of me and I had to try to convince her to not go there. "I can assure you I am not involved in anyway. I don't think my husband is doing anything illegal..."
"Just taking them is illegal Jensen, even if he isn't giving or selling them to other people. If he is taking mediation prescribed to you, that's illegal..."
"Ok, I understand. I will take care of this. Just don't refill anymore and please keep this to yourself. I beg you." I plead.
"I'm not going to lose my license over this..."
"I understand. Please Dr. Thatcher, I will get him the help he needs if he is in fact taking them. We won't be asking you for anymore..."
"Oh I won't be prescribing you anything of that nature, probably ever again. But let me warn you Jensen, opioids are nothing to play around with. They are highly addictive and deadly. If Prince is taking them, I can almost guarantee you he is already addicted, or at least dependent upon them. He has also already crossed over to illegal measures to obtain them. If he hasn't already, his next step will be doctor shopping and/or obtaining them off the streets. This isn't some easy, go home, and scold him and it's all over type of deal. No quitting on your own or stopping cold turkey. It takes medical assistance, preferably rehab."
I felt like I was married to Lenny all over again, but even worse this time. I think I would rather catch Prince smoking pot and drinking excessively than be addicted to pain medicine, that he is obtaining illegally at that. "So, what are the signs and symptoms of someone who is taking them regularly?" I ask in a shaky voice.
"Someone who is taking them regularly could have a range of signs and symptoms... constipation or diarrhea, reduced sexual drive and performance, slurred speech, shallow breathing, small pupils, nausea, mood swings, withdrawal and isolation, confusion, lack of coordination, nodding off often or even losing consciousness at times..."
"Ok I've heard enough. Yeah he's taking them. Apparently for awhile...like before the baby." I choke out, tears streaming down my face.
Dr. Thatcher comes over to embrace me. "But I think he must have tried to quit bc after the baby was born those signs weren't there for awhile anymore. I'm so confused...."
"He may have tried to stop once the baby was born. That would be a very normal assumption that the new baby made him want to get clean. Did you notice any withdrawal symptoms?" She asked.
"Like what?"
"Fever, headache, vomiting, diarrhea, shaking/tremors, sweating..."
"Yes. I thought he had the flu."
"That's exactly what it mimics. Well the good news is he apparently is aware he has a problem and tried to stop. Most people aren't successful at quitting on their own. He's going to need medical intervention. I can give you the names of some doctors who specialize in opioid addiction."
"Thank you, doctor. I am so sorry to put you in this position. I'm still so confused. Why would he even start taking them? He hasn't had a surgery or anything that would warrant being prescribed something like that."
"He either has some sort of physical ailment that is bothering him and he's truly in pain, or sometimes people who are in mental or emotional distress will think they are in physical pain even though they are actually fine. But once they are addicted, it's their brain telling them they need it, even if they aren't really in much physical pain. Do you know of any physical pain he is in?"
"Yeah, his hips..."
"That probably triggered it then."
"But I still don't understand where he got pain pills from in the first place..."
"Could be anywhere, honey. Like I said doctor shopping, suppliers off the street, friends or family who have access to them..."
As soon as she said that a light bulb went off in my head...Shawn! The fucking black bag flashed through my mind. He was medically discharged from the military so I'm sure the VA is willing to supply him with pain medication. And he seemed way too eager to pick up my Percocet prescription when we got home from the hospital. The way he was eyeing Prince I knew was bizarre, along with carrying around that stupid bag!!! He's a freaking pill pusher! Even before I went into labor he was obviously trying to give Prince something and Prince turned him down. Not that Prince is innocent in this but Shawn has got to go!!!! I made it back to Paisley so fast I don't even remember driving! As I got up to our living quarters, low and behold the two people I was looking for happened to be sitting in the living room, my pill popping husband and his loser pill pushing employee.