American Woman: Book 4

Chapter 52

I had dozed off by the time Prince came rushing back, his hands full of condoms. "I said don't fall asleep, momma! We are going to use all these...tonight!"
"You have like a dozen! Where did you get them?" I asked, rubbing the sleep from my eyes. I sit up and stretch, almost out of the mood and wanting to go back to my slumber  but I couldn't turn him down after all of this.
"The security office. Mark and some of the other guys keep a stash in there."
"Why?!"
"Bc they are single horny guys...."
"Who are having sex with each other at work?!" I chuckle.
"No! Well not that I know of. They like to try to get with any new female employee or artist that comes to use the studio." Prince explains.
"You know there is a lot that goes around my own house that I don't even realize."
"Well not really in our house just the other parts of Paisley." He laughed.
"You know as the girls get older and if we have more children, I may not want Paisley to be our permanent home anymore." I admit.
"I know. I've thought about that too. Being in a real home is something I plan to do sooner than later. This was never meant to be a family home. I never saw myself raising my children here. Anyway, I've got the condoms so spread em!" He announces, tossing the condoms onto the bedside table.
"Your romance game hasn't improved much since Mayte. 'It's time for birth control. Spread em.' You're a real Rico Suave."
"Oh give me a break. I romanced her plenty! And I've romanced you too and you know it. Every time can't be some grand gesture or it loses its appeal...."
"Yeah but for taking her virginity you think you could..."
"I said that like a week or two before, not immediately! I'm pretty sure I lit some candles and put on some music and turned on the charm. I'm so sorry Lenny is more of the romancer. Maybe he will make it up to her when they start banging..."
"Lenny wasn't overly romantic." I admit. "I didn't have candles or music so I actually think you did better."
"Damn right I did! Now don't you wish you would have waited for me?"
"Of course. What would you have done? Show me." I say, laying back and batting my eyelashes. "I'm some young innocent nervous virgin who can't believe the rockstar Prince is about to deflower me."
"Oh geez." He laughs. "You don't have to make it sound so creepy. First of all, I would tell you to get on the pill bc I hate using condoms. Then I would ask if you want to put it on for me."
"I've never put one on before. Will you show me?" I giggle. "For real, I never have." I admit.
"What?! You're kidding?!" Prince shrieks.
"Well I've only had sex with you and Lenny, so I never had a need for one. When's the last time you used one?"
"A long time. Before Mayte. It's not the best way..."
"Wow! I'm so eager now!" I say, rolling my eyes.
"No, baby, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that. I just wish I could feel you. Condoms dull the sensations a bit, but I want you so bad I don't care. We will figure something out so that we hopefully don't have to keep using these." He strips off his pajama pants and pumps himself a few times until he rises to attention. I grab a condom and tear the wrapper open with my teeth. I take it out and hesitantly look at it not even sure which way to turn it. Prince takes my hand and helps me guide it on him, reminding me to leave room at the tip. I roll it all the way down his shaft and sit back and chuckle. "I can't believe I'm almost 31 and it's the first time I've ever seen a guy with a condom on. Is it going to feel different to me too?"
"Probably."
"I'm kinda excited!" I respond, jerking off my clothes.
"It's not ribbed or anything fancy so don't get your hopes up." He warns. "Ok Virgin Jensen lay back for daddy." I lay back and spread my thighs as he gets in between them. "Are you ready?"
I nod my head in agreement and he slowly pushes himself inside my core. "Are you ok baby girl? Can I move?" He asks, role playing with me.
"Mmmmm yeah. Do I feel good? Am I tight?"
"Yes." He moans as he begins to thrust into me slowly but forcefully. "I just wish I could feel my bare dick on your warm pussy. Fuck I hate this condom shit!" He complains.
It didn't take long for me to agree with his opinion. "Damn baby it's kinda hurting. The condom is drying me out or something. Please just take it off. I don't like it! I want to feel you. Don't you want to feel me wrapped around you?" I beg.
"Oh honey don't torture me like that. You have no idea how much I want to feel you, but we can't risk it. Laura made it clear you can't get pregnant on this kind of medication...."
"I'll just take a morning after pill or something." I plead.
"No! Come on, we don't believe it stuff like that. That's basically abortion. God is not ok with that...."
"Everyone sins. We can ask for forgiveness...."
"No!" Prince yells, pulling out and glaring down at me. "What's wrong with you? This isn't the way my loving wife would talk. I'm not in the mood anymore. It sucks anyway." He winced knowing how bad what he just said sounded.
I wanted to call him every name in the book but I just pushed my way out from underneath him and got under the covers, silently sobbing into my pillow. I could hear Prince removing the condom and flinging it into the trash can. He climbs in and starts to cradle me. "Momma I'm so sorry. That came out wrong. I'm just so frustrated with so many things. I didn't mean having sex with you sucks...I just meant everything sucks right now and condom sex always sucks. It has nothing to do with you. I promise...."
"If it sucks so bad, why were you so eager to find one?" I say lowly.
"Bc baby, you're my wife. I've missed you terribly. Of course I want to make love to you, even if it isn't ideal. Maybe we just aren't ready yet. We can talk to Laura tomorrow about a birth control plan so we are prepared when it does happen. Hopefully you can take pills until we are ready to try for another baby." He explains.
"Ok." Is all I managed to choke out. I was tired of talking...about everything. A part of me just wanted to give up. Just run away. The mountain seemed too high to climb and I felt I had nothing left to give. But I knew a life without Prince and my kids would be even more miserable than suffering through the next days, weeks, or possibly months until we hopefully found our normal life again. I dozed off without another word.
At some point, I woke up and Prince was gone, which is rare. I had a sinking feeling about where he might be or what he might be doing. A part of me didn't want to get up and investigate since I may rather not know. But I know my imagination is probably way worse than reality. I get up and look at the clock to see it was almost 3am. I check on the girls who were snoozing away, making me genuinely smile. As I make my way towards the kitchen, I hear Prince talking and I stop my footsteps.
"I really want to apologize to you for the way I was during our marriage. I didn't do you right in many ways and for that I'm truly sorry...."
"I don't even want to know who all you may have been sleeping with." I hear Mayte respond.
"Nobody. Oh Mayte I swear I didn't cheat on you once we were in a committed relationship, even before we got married. That's one of the things I did right. I-I-I was just mainly talking about the pregnancies. Not allowing you to get an amniocentesis for starters. I had no right to call all the shots..."
"Would it have changed anything? If we would have found out about Ahmir's condition while I was pregnant, would you have wanted to terminate..."
"No. God no..."
"Ok then the point is moot. It may have caused me to miscarriage anyway so I think it was the right decision...."
"Maybe so, but it still should have been a mutual decision, not me being a tyrant. And then of course the way I was after Ahmir died. I should have grieved with you. It would have helped me too. I was just too foolish and stubborn to realize pulling away wasn't the right answer for either one of us."
"Prince it's really ok. I'm fine. I'm over it. Well I mean not over losing Ahmir of course that will always hurt..."
"I know. I still hurt for him too. I don't want you to think having my girls has completely diminished that pain. I'll always be heartbroken about our son. And the second baby, God, I know I came off as not caring at all about it and you. I had lots of issues then, Mayte, and I'm sorry you had to suffer for them. Thankfully I've worked or am working on those and have become a better man. The Prince of a few years ago would have never apologized to you, or anyone, no matter how I felt. That is so unbelievably wrong and I should have done it a long time ago. I truly am sorry for how I handled everything..."
"Boo!" I hear Lenny whisper from behind me, right in my ear. I let out a blood curdling scream and turn around and immediately started beating the shit out of his arm. "You stupid idiot!" I yell. "You could have woken up my babies!"
"Ow shit! Stop hitting me! I'm sorry, Jen!" In the midst of all of it, Mayte and Prince round the corner to investigate the commotion.
"Oh hey. Didn't know you guys were up. Am I missing out on a party or what?" Lenny chuckled.
"You know for people who claim to not get up at night, everyone sure keeps getting up tonight!" I roll my eyes.
"Well you're up too. Eavesdropping again I assume." Prince smirks.
"I got up bc you weren't in bed and I...." I begin.
"You what? Thought I was fucking Mayte? Doing drugs? Don't lecture me about trust when you wonder what I'm doing when I'm not in bed with you." Prince interjects.
"Well what were you doing up, asshole?" I growled, pissed with the way he was addressing me, especially in front of Mayte and Lenny.
"Waverly was fussing. I heard her on the monitor so I came to check on her. Mayte heard her too and woke up at the same time. Then we started talking." Prince responds.
"Well what are you doing up?!" I ask Lenny.
"Getting a drink. I think we are just all a little on edge with being under one roof together. We don't want to cause problems. We can leave tomorrow if us being here is causing a rift in your marriage or with the girls." Lenny offered.
"No, it's ok. We would still have issues without y'all here. Maybe we should just all go back to bed for good." I suggest.
"I have a better idea." Prince replies. "Why don't we all hang out like old times? Maybe it would help break the ice a little more..."
"Its after 3:00 in the morning, Prince." I mutter.
"So?"
"So! In case you have forgotten we have two young children that will be up in a matter a few hours. We can't stay up all night like we used to...."
"We can get someone to watch them while we sleep in. I'm not suggesting this be a way of life.  I saying one night. Chill out and stop being so uptight. When is the last time you've had any fun?" He asked.
"Too long." I reply honestly.
"I'm in." Mayte smiles. "It has been awhile for me too."
"Lenny, you up for it?" Prince questions.
"Sure. What do you have in mind? Basketball court?" He chuckles, causing Prince's eyes to light up.
"No!" Mayte and I groan in unison.
"Oh come on. We aren't drunk this time. Nobody will be getting naked." Prince assures us.
Everyone went to change into more athletic gear and I grabbed the girls' monitors. As we were changing Prince says "I wasn't doing or saying anything inappropriate to Mayte. Before you even ask or accuse..."
"I never said that. You just assume that's what I think. And you know what they say about assuming? If I had to choose what I thought you were doing I would have gone with drugs over an affair. So don't put thoughts in my head or words in my mouth. I don't need any help with that." I shot back.
"I hate where we are with each other momma. It's like we have gone back in time and don't trust the other person, maybe more than ever...."
"Well we've actually now given each other big reasons not to. Before it was more based on our own insecurities, issues, and past experiences. I don't want to talk about us and everything that is fucked up right now. I just want to have a good time." I replied, grabbing the monitors and heading towards the court.