asset [h.s.]

sixty nine // worry

Harry

After what feels like hours, I finally manage to calm Alicia down enough that she is actually able to breathe properly again. I finally manage to pull her exhausted, limp body up off the floor and help her walk back to our room. She immediately crawls into bed and buries herself under the covers, clearly not wanting anything to do with the outside world. It stings a little that she's also shutting me out as well as everything else, but I know this is just part of her grieving process, and I have to let it happen. As terrifying as it is, she has to reach breaking point before she can get any better.

As she huddles under the covers, I lay down on the bed beside her. I don't even know if she wants me there or not, but I need to make sure she knows that I'm here for her, even if she keeps pushing me away. I'll always be here for her, no matter what.

I lay next to her until she eventually drifts off, probably exhausted from all the grief and the crying. Even after she's fallen asleep, I stay there for a while, just watching her finally looking at peace. Her face is still slightly flushed from all the crying and her cheeks still look wet, dried tears remaining on her skin.

My heart pangs painfully in my chest as I look at her, and I begin to wish that she never had to suffer like this or feel even an ounce of pain. Because of her, I now understand what true love means. It means putting another person before you, caring for their happiness more than your own, and I definitely care more about Alicia's happiness than mine.

As I gaze at her now, I truly understand just how much I love this girl next to me. I love everything about her, and I'm definitely not the type of man who says that lightly. I have only ever loved a very small amount of people in my life. I always thought that love was something so idiotic and pointless, something you shouldn't bother wasting your time on.

But now I realise how wrong I was, because this woman is the love of my life, and she has a hold of my heart that I couldn't break even if I wanted to.

And even after everything we've been through, all the things that could've changed the way I feel about her, I can't even fathom loving her any less than I do right now. I wonder if she feels the same, but deep down I know I understand her enough to know that she does. She's been pushed past and far beyond her breaking point, had to deal with so many things that could've changed her beyond recognition, but yet she is still the same compassionate, caring, and beautiful girl that I fell for.

She's proof that you can walk through hell and still be an angel.

I eventually pull myself up off the bed and quietly leave the room, gently closing the door behind me so I don't wake her. When I walk into the lounge downstairs, I find that Liam and Zayn are in there talking to some other guy I don't know, although he leaves when I walk in, knowing that I probably just want to talk to them.

"How is she?" Liam asks quietly as I take a seat on the couch.

I let out a small sigh, shrugging. "Right now, she's a mess," I tell them. "But she finally fell asleep."

"That's good, I guess," Liam says and I slowly nod in agreement, my eyes flickering over to Zayn who's probably being the quietest I've ever seen him, causing me to raise an eyebrow. "You're not saying much."

"What is there to say?" he asks, and for once, I agree with him too.

"How's your arm?" Liam suddenly asks me, clearly trying to change the subject of the rather depressing conversation.

"It's ok," I tell him, but he shoots me a disapproving look, confusing me. "What? I told you, it's just a graze."

"That's not what I mean."