Hidden Beneath the Scars [Completed]

Ashton POV

"Hey. I dont know when youre gonna hear this, but i hope you do. Some things happened and i have to go back to london. So this is going to be ny last message for you. I wish it wasnt. I wish i could stay and fix us. I love you Ashton. I really do. I'm not going to lie, yes i do love Kyle. Not the way i love you. I am in love with you Ashton. You are the love of my life. Not him. You. And i really really really wish you were here. I was scared of loving you. I went to find you that day. But you were already gone. I knew i made a mistake, that i needed you, but it was too late...  I really wish we could do this face to face. But...yeah...well i guess this is it...." then came silence, and she sobbed. "I miss you. I miss you so fucking much. I am so sorry. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you."

I replayed the message once again.
What have I done? I asked myself over and over again while I played the message over and over again.

Soon as the flight landed, I ran outside. A lady was getting in a cab when i stole her cab muttering a sorry. Ofcourse she cursed at me.
I gave the driver Izzie's address, yelling him to make it faster.

Nate and Lee were at the doorsteps of her house. And I knew. This time I was too late.

"She left already." Lee was glaring at me when he stood up.

"Shit." I mumbled and tried calling her.

I heard the ringtone from inside the house and i hoped. I hoped she wasn't gone. I hoped she didnt leave her phone behind. I hoped it was just a prank, to get me home.

"She can't have a phone inside the facility." Nate's voice was softer.
He was feeling guilty about what he had said at Izzie.

"What did I do?" I asked to no one in particular.

"You didn't trust her." Lee was really angry by then.

Lee loved Izzie more than any of her friends. If it came down to it, he would've chosen her over me. And it was well deserved.

"Did...did she relapse?"i finally asked.

But that wasnt what i wanted to know. I wanted to know if i had caused her relapse.

"Don't flatter yourself. She's not some spoiled little bitch to relapse over some guy. Despite what you used to think. Or do you still think that?" Lee was truly mad at me. And I deserved every one of the things he said at me.

"Lee!" Nate looked at Lee and he shut up. "She started seeing her mom again. Steven says it's because she hasn't dealt with her death yet. Her psychiatrist suspected it would happen again. Because she wouldn't talk about it. Can you believe it? She is so messed up. Such a beautiful girl, so fragile. So broken."

"I know." I whispered, sitting down on the doorsteps.

"She attempted suicide. That was the real reason she was sent the first time." Nate said again.

"I know." I whispered again.

"What do you mean you know?" Nate asked.

"I mean she told me." I looked up at a frowning Nate.

"Thats fucked up Ashton. If she told you, why didn't you wait for her to figure things out. Why'd you..." he sighed. "God, I called her a home wrecker."

"Thats on you!" Lee was yelling now.

"Thats on you Nate. Not on Ashton. Thats on you. You should have listened to her. We all should have just let her think things out. Henderson saved her, Ashton. He fucking saved her life. She was drowning when she came to this shitty town. She was deep under water, she was breathing the damn salt. And you made it worse with your fucked up way of showing how you feel about her. She wanted to die. And he saved her."