20 | Chapter Twenty

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 A//N: Hello HI! I'm glad I finished this book cause I left is on hiatus for a while and made a lot of people drop it but it's done for now and I'll probably come back in the future to edit it more and maybe rewrite it. Who knows? Enjoy the chapter, I hope you liked the book!

A X Y

     "Come on Cupcake, You'll get a hang of this quick you just have to try harder and soon It'll be like the old times," Sarah whispered leaning down to face me. My eyebrows pulled down and I grabbed the paper and pen near me, before furiously scribbling something down and shoving it in her hands.

     'Leave me alone! I tried already and I fail every time!!! I don't wanna do this. It hurts every time, don't you get it!?!?'

     I didn't wanna stay with her anymore. I didn't even wait for her responses. I just got up and ran to Diesel's office. Slowing down once I was in front of his office door. My hand raised and I knocked quietly on his door.

     "Come in," his sharp voice yelled out.

     I opened the door and closed it back before turning around to face him. He looked up at me from his desk and tilted his glasses down to see me better. His face twisted in worry as he saw my tears.

     "Hey Kitten. What's wrong?" He set his papers down and opened his arms for me. I slowly walked towards him before running into his arms. He made my troubles go away and I couldn't ask for more. He rubbed my back and kissed my head as I straddled him on his chair.

     "Baby Doll, you have to tell me what's wrong soon. Where's your notebook?" He asked. I cried harder into his chest and shook my head. I don't wanna hear anything about writing or talking.

     "I'm sorry. Please, Kitten don't cry," He whispered and leaned down to kiss my cheek. I sniffed and opened my mouth to say something back before I shut it again cried even harder than before.

     There are times where I can't deal with this, times I forget I don't have a voice anymore, times where I wanna use my voice, times I don't wanna carry around a notebook, or write/text everything I wanna say, times I wanna tell my mate I love him...

     "Hey, It's gonna be okay. We'll get through this baby." He whispered and rubbed and massaged my back. We stayed like that for what seems like hours. This wasn't new. It wasn't new to him. It had become a routine to have a breakdown somewhere during the day. Even if it's been a month since the incident. I need to get over it, as much as it's killing me, I know it kills Diesel too. I know he blames himself for what happened. I don't. I'm thankful he saved me. I never blamed him once.

     We stayed like this for what felt like hours. I don't make a move to retract, I love this. After a few more minutes Diesel asked me if I was okay and I nodded. I nuzzled my face further into his neck and he hummed against mine. I didn't really understand why simple actions like that made my body feel weird, but the good kind of weird. I didn't mind honestly. I felt him rub his nose on my neck making me purr. His hands started rubbing harder and moved to my lower back. It felt so good, I made a weird gasping noise and jumped when Diesel growled lowly. One of his hands left my back and moved to take my chin matching my face up to his. He looked at me then my lips and smiled.

     "I love you so much Kitten," He leaned down and pressed his lips against mine. His kiss was slow and amazing. I purred and cuddled into him more. He softly growled and pushed his lip harder on mine. I gasped when I felt him bite my bottom lip, his tongue than when into my mouth. It danced with mine, even though I honestly didn't know what we were doing. All I knew was that this felt good and I wanted to feel more of it.

      Diesel pulled away and it made me want to whine. He let out a chuckle and ducked back into my neck, where his planted kisses and licks. It was a feeling slightly better than the kiss but it was still amazing. It all made my pants feel tighter. He moved to a spot near my chin and sucked on it, and I made a loud gasp. He chuckled again and sucked on it again, then blowing air on it. I shivered and moved my hands to tangle into his hair.

     I pulled him away panting, I tilted my head and looked confusingly at him. I rubbed my hand on the spot he kissed as in questioning it. He smiled and went to kiss it again.

     "We can call it your little sweet spot. Whenever I do this to it," He cut himself off and sucked on it again; earing a noiseless whimper from me and my hands tightened on him "It'll make you feel really good," He looked up at me and I saw his eye switching colors, meaning Mr. wolfy is on the surface. I wrapped my tail around his hand and wrote down with my finger;

I L I K E I T

     He looked down a bit then smiled up after realizing what I was trying to tell him.

      "Well I'm glad you like it, baby," I smiled back at him and pressed my lips to his again. His hand moved to my hip and he kissed me harder. I swiped my tongue over his lips, something else I learned after many shared kisses, he opened up and our tongues moved together again. I make out a small gasp when I feel one of his hands grab my butt. He kneads it softly and I purr, I melted into his touch.

     After a few more licks and bites he picks me up and takes up to our room. I rest my head on his shoulder and take in his smell. He smelled like mint and pine trees, it was so good. Once we got in our room, he closed the door and placed me softly on the bed. The kissing continued and the massage on my bum did too. I was feeling so good, there were times he'd go down to my neck again and the feeling was beyond amazing.

     "I love you so so much kitten, you mean everything to me," Diesel mumbled into my neck. I held onto him tighter and purred. Then one of his hands moved up to my chest and went under the shirt I was wearing. I sucked in air when his fingers rubbed my nipple. He then let go and moved to take his shirt off.

     "Hey honey, I wanna try something with you. But if something hurts or makes you feel uncomfortable just push me okay?" He said softly. I trusted him, he could never make me feel bad. I'll let him do anything.

     The night went by slow and wonderful. It was filled with kisses and touching. Touching me places I didn't think would make me feel any good, but boy was I wrong. I guess you do learn something new every day. Something that makes you feel good even if the beginning part was rough.


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