Please Be Okay // Dan Howell

Nineteen ~

Aria's pov

I didn't bother to grab my stuff and rushed back out into the living room.
"I have to go." I said to mom and Dallas. "I'm sorry, I'll explain later."
"Is everything alright?" My mom asked.
"No." I told her. "But I'm fine." I rushed out the door and got into a cab to take me to the airport.
"I need the soonest flight to London." I said quickly.
"Calm down ma'am." The man said noticing my hands were shaking and I was about to cry.
"The next flight to London leaves in three hours." I sighed anxiously.
"Okay, well is there any chance I could get a ticket?" I asked about to pass out.
"Let me check." He said. I could tell he felt bad for me.
"There is one seat available but it's pricey." He said. I didn't care. I would figure out money later. I asked how much it was and paid. He handed me a ticket and I sat down and waited. The three hours went by faster than I thought they would as I spaced out almost the entire time. They called my flight and I shot up, practically running to the boarding area.

When I sat down in the seat I felt like my heart was going to explode. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath hoping to just fall asleep and not have to deal with this anymore. The thoughts of what could've happened to Dan were overwhelming and I felt like I was going to throw up. Luckily, I drifted off to sleep after a few minutes and didn't wake up again until the plane was about to land.

     I quickly got off of he plane and rushed into the airport. I took out my phone and quickly called Phil. At this point, it had been around eleven hours since Phil had called me and I had no idea what was going on.
"Aria." Phil said quietly as he yawned.
"Phil thank god, I just landed where are you guys?" I asked as I ran out of the airport and climbed into a cab.
"At the hospital. You should get here soon." He replied. He hung up the phone again and I told the cab driver where to go.

    I rushed inside and looked around the waiting room until I found Phil.
"Hey." He said waving me over. I was out of breath and mentally exhausted as I walked over to Phil and sat down next to him.
"What the hell is going on?" I asked frantically.
"Dan had an... incident." Phil told me. He had tears stained on his cheeks and his eyes were puffy.
"Phil he's not-" I paused.
"No, he's alive." Phil replied. "But he's not doing good. We were out for a walk yesterday and Dan was feeling fine at first. Then... all of a sudden he got really dizzy and fell and hit his head on the sidewalk. He's fine now, but he's still unconscious. The doctor said the head injury shouldn't effect much, but if he doesn't have the surgery soon he won't have that option anymore. They did a scan and the tumor has shown a small amount of growth since the last time we were here. I tried to talk to Dan again but he still refuses."
"Am I aloud to see him?" I asked. I was so shocked by everything Phil had said I didn't know what else to say. Phil nodded his head and grabbed my hand, leading me to Dan's room. He was lying in bed and his eyes were closed. He had a bandage wrapped around his forehead and blood was seeping through slightly on one side. I walked over to him slowly and sat down grabbing his hand and holding it tightly.
"Dan.." I whispered. "Please..." I lied my head down on his chest and sobbed loudly. Phil had left the room, wanting to give us some time alone. I jumped slightly when I felt Dans hand in my hair.
"I'm okay." He said quietly. I sat up quickly and kissed his lips passionately. I pulled away and looked into his eyes. I thought about everything. About the cancer, about the surgery, about when I first met him. All the pain I felt when I found out he was sick, the overwhelming fear of what could have happened to him. The thought of losing him, of watching him go through so much pain... and I just said it.
"I'm done." I said quietly and emotionlessly.
"What?" He asked.
"I can't do this." I told him. "I can't watch you die."
"Aria..." he put his hand in my hair again but I stood up quickly.
"I love you and I'm sorry..." I said. "But I am not going through this again... I'm done. We're done." I turned and walked out the door. I heard him call my name a few times but I just kept walking. I walked through the waiting room and passed Phil who got up and tried to stop me.
"Aria where are you going?" He asked grabbing my shoulder. I pulled away and looked at him full of sorrow.
"I'm sorry Phil." I said before walking out. The entire ride back to my apartment was silent and I was alone with my thoughts.
"Thanks." I said harshly to the cab driver handing him money and running up the many stairs to my apartment. I walked in and closed the door locking it behind me. I paced around the room gripping my hair hard, almost painfully. I felt tears rush down my face as I closed my eyes tightly. I choked out a loud sob as I fell to my knees. So many thoughts were running through my head.
'Y-you're Dan Howell.'
'I am, and you are?'
'Aria.'
'Nice to meet you Aria.'
Voices echoed through my mind as I felt my breathing start to get difficult. I was sobbing intensely on the floor and my chest was on fire.

'Together?'
'Aren't you?'
'I don't know.. are we?'
'Do you want to be?'
'I would love to be.'

   My eyes were shut tightly and I was rocking back and forward on the floor begging for it to stop.

'You make trying worth it.'

I felt like I was gunna throw up as my eyes burned from the hot tears still continuing to stream down my face. I wanted to scream. I wanted to scream so loud that my vocal chords gave out.

'Hello beautiful... too cheesy?'
'Nope.'

My ears were starting to ring and I felt my entire body start to ache as my head fell to the floor, buried in my arms.

'Is it too early to say I love you?'
'I love you too.'

   "Shut up!!" I finally yelled. My throat started to hurt and I felt myself start to calm down. I lied down on the floor, too emotionally drained to move, and curled up into a ball as my breathing slowed and I fell asleep.