Please Be Okay // Dan Howell

Eighteen ~

     Aria's pov

         "I-is he okay?" Dallas asked. "I mean- how bad is it?"
"It's pretty bad." I said trying to avoid breaking down crying. "A few months." Dallas' face turned from shock to sympathy and he placed his hand on my shoulder.
"I'm sorry." He said quietly.

      When Dallas and I were kids, our dad died due to really bad lung cancer. Dallas knew that this was something that really effected me.
"Is there anything they can do?" He asked after a few minutes of silence. I thought about Dan and the surgery but decided not to tell Dallas about his refusal.
"No..." I said quietly. "But please don't say anything to mom- or anyone else for that matter. I'm okay, it's just... hard."
"You don't seam okay." He said glancing down at my arms. I glanced down and looked back at him. "When was that?"
"... A few weeks ago." I said with a small amount of hesitation in my voice. "But it was stupid and- and I'm fine now."
"That's what you said befor-"
"I'm fine." I interrupted. "Nothing bad is gunna happen to me." It was silent for a while again.
"When you were in the hospital..." Dallas started. "I thought you were gunna die. I thought I was gunna lose you. You and dad. And I was terrified. So... so you have to promise me that you won't do that again. Because I can't handle losing you Ari. I don't know how."
    I felt a tear fall from my face but wiped it away quickly.
"I promise." I assured him. He nodded his head and stood up.
"We should go." He said. "Moms waiting in the kitchen." I agreed and we walked out of the bedroom, Dallas' hand on my shoulder.

     Dan's pov

         I called Aria later that night and we talked for a couple hours before she got tired and went to bed. She told me about her brother and her mom and about how glad she was to see them again. She also asked how I was doing to which I responded with 'I'm fine' and tried to change the subject. I knew she was worried about me but the last thing I wanted to talk about at that moment was myself. I loved Aria, and all I wanted was for her to be happy, at least as happy as she could be. I wanted her to remember us playing Pokémon together, and talking on the phone until four in the morning, not going to the hospital and worrying if I was gunna wake up the next morning. I wanted her to remember me. Not my illness.
"I should probably go to bed." She said in her raspy, quiet voice that I loved so much. I couldn't help but smile to myself.
"Okay." I said quietly. "I'll talk to you tomorrow. I love you."
"I love you too." She whispered before hanging up the phone.

    I woke up at around noon the next morning and felt better than I had in a while. I was happy, and I wasn't in any pain at all. I stood up and walked to the lounge where I found Phil sitting on the couch eating popcorn.
"Morning." I said smiling. I plopped down on the couch next to him.
"Morning..?" He said questionably. "Are you alright?"
"Great, actually." I told him. "I feel... energized." Phil looked confused for a second but then started to smile.
"That's amazing!" He said loudly.
"Yeah..." i said. "Hey, we haven't filmed a gaming channel vid in a while... you want to?"
"If you're feeling up to it then of course I do." He laughed.
"Great." I smiled.

    Aria's pov

        I stayed up until 10:00 that night talking to Dan before I got pretty tired. It was like, nothing was wrong and we were just lying in bed having a conversation. Like everything was... normal. I was glad to have an actual conversation with him even though all we talked about was random, stupid crap. I didn't care what we talked about as long as we were talking.

    I spent the next day going to random places and restaurants with my mom and Dallas. We went to all the places we used to go to when Dallas and I were kids. It was weird and amazing at the same time, seeing all of the things and people I hadn't seen in 13 years was so... uncomfortable yet incredibly fun at the same time. It made me feel old.
"You and your brother used to climb up on the top of that slide every time we would come here." My mom said pointing up to a tube slide about ten feet high in the arcade we were in.
"You weren't supposed to and if was pretty dangerous but you just kept doing it. Until one day Dallas fell off and broke his arm."
"We were pretty stupid kids." Dallas laughed nudging my shoulders.
"We really were." I laughed back.

    Dan's pov

         "You can't move the sofa there Dan!" Phil yelled laughing as I tried to put Dil's sofa in the hallway to make room for the stereo I wanted to buy.
"C'mon it's not a big deal." I joked. "It's... artsy."
"No." Phil said snatching the keyboard. I looked at him and laughed as he returned everything to where it was.
"Fine." I whined jokingly.
    We continued playing for a few more minutes before ending the episode. Phil turned off the camera and looked over at me.
"How ya feeling?" He asked suddenly becoming serious. I groaned and looked at him annoyed.
"I already told you I am fine." I said for the third time in the last hour.
"I'm just checking." Phil said. "It's not normal for you to be this happy."
"Well I am." I laughed. I paused for a second and thought. "We should go do something."
"Like what?" He asked standing up. I stood up as well and stretched my legs.
"Lets just... go for a walk or something." I suggested.
"Are you sure you're not pushing it a little?" He asked putting his hand on my head to check my temperature. I hit his hand away and rolled my eyes.
"No." I replied. "I'm fine let's just go." Phil agreed and we left.

    Aria's pov

         "Okay, that is so stupid I never said that." I laughed as I ate another piece of popcorn. We had been home for a few hours and it was around midnight. We had been watching old family movies and eating for a long time.
"One sec." I said hearing my phone go off. I climbed off of the couch and walked to a different room to answer it.
"Aria?" Phil asked frantically.
"Phil?" I asked. "Yea it's me is- is everything okay?"
"You need to come back to London as soon as possible."