Please Be Okay // Dan Howell

Seventeen ~

       Aria's pov

            "So have you met any cute boys?" My mom asked. It had been two days since I flew up there and she was still asking me questions like this. Luckily this time I actually had something to tell her. I didn't want to talk to her about Dan being sick or really any of the shitty things that had been happening so I just made it seam like we weren't serious.
"Yeah, actually I've been seeing this guy." I told her. "It's nothing crazy just a few dates."
"Ooh, what's his name?" She asked excitedly.
"Daniel." I replied. Why did I call him that? I laughed to myself.
"He sounds so cute." She smiled. "Do you have a picture?" I pulled out my phone and found a picture I had taken of Dan smiling at the camera and me kissing his cheek. I handed the phone to my mom.
"Oh he's handsome." She laughed. I tried to refrain from face palming at how awkward the situation was.
"Yea..." I said quietly. She handed me back my phone.
"So is he nice?" She asked. She crossed her arms and sat back. This was gunna be a long conversation.

     Dan's pov

          "Dan you should get out of bed." Phil suggested sitting on the edge of the bed I'd been laying in for three days straight.
"I'm tired." I told him, not turning to face in his direction.
"If you were tired, then you would sleep." He argued. "You've just been laying in bed."
"I know it's just-" I started to speak but was cut off by and uneasy feeling in my stomach. I was going to puke. I got up quickly and ran to the bathroom leaning over the toilet.
"Dan, please just let me call the doctor." Phil begged. He had been asking for a few days now but I wouldn't let him.
"No." I said again. "There's nothing they can do."
   After making sure I was done vomiting I stood up and wiped my face. I walked back to my bed and plopped down in the same position I was in before.
"That's not true." Phil said. "You could have the surgery."
"Phil I already told you-"
"Just listen." He interrupted. "I am not going to allow you to sit here feeling sorry for yourself when you have the option to live. If they do the surgery, and it's successful then you can live a long, healthy life. But instead of that you want to live a few shitty months? You say you don't want to lose who you are, but if you don't have the surgery then that's what you're doing. Not only that but you're hurting everyone around you. You know how Aria is gunna remember you? She's gunna remember you as sick, and tired and in pain. She's not gunna remember you as Dan. She's going to remember you as dying...." there was a long pause before he spoke again. "If that's what you want, be my guest. But I thought you were different." He walked out of the room and shut the door loudly. I could tell that all of this was hurting Phil. He was my best friend in the entire world. I knew he cared about me and I guess I didn't pay enough attention to how much all of this was effecting him. Yeah, I may have been the one that was sick but I was sure as hell not the only one in pain.

     Aria's pov

         I was starting to get worried about Dan. He hadn't texted me back since I got to America and that was three days ago.
     I finally decided to call Phil and ask if he was alright.
"Ari?" Phil asked. "Hi." He sounded tired and sad. But there was a hint of excitement in his voice to talk to me.
"Hey.." I said. "I was just calling to ask if everything's okay back there. You know... with Dan." I felt like I was about to puke. I didn't want to hear Phil's answer in fear of what it could be but at the same time if he didn't tell me I might have died.
"Yeah.... he's fine." Phil said slowly and unsure. This only scared me more.
"Are you sure?" I asked. "He hasn't been answering me all week."
"He's just tired." Phil said quickly. "I'll have him call you tonight."
"Okay." I agreed. "Thank you." I hung up the phone and walked out of the room I had walked into to call Phil and noticed Dallas outside the door.
"Who's Dan?" He asked. "And why are you so worried about him?" Dallas was almost seventeen years old and I knew that lying wouldn't have worked out very well. I sighed and told him to come with me.
    We sat down on my bed together and I turned so I was facing him.
"First of all, Dan is my boyfriend." I told him. "You're not gunna believe me when I say this, but it's Daniel Howell." Me and my brother watched him together a lot before I moved. But he didn't like Dan and Phil as much as I did.
"Sure." He laughed. I sighed and rolled my eyes. I pulled out my phone and showed him the picture I had shown my mom, along with a few others Phil, Dan and I took at Starbucks.
"Holy shit." He said quietly.
"Yeah..." I said quietly. "But that's aside the point. Dallas I am about to tell you something. And if you repeat this to anyone else at all, even mom, then I will literally stab you to death." I sounded violent but that was just how I talked to my brother. He nodded and gave me and intrigued look.
"Dan has cancer." I blurted out quickly.

    Dan's pov
 
        I couldn't stop thinking about what Phil said for the rest of that day.
'You know how Aria is gunna remember you?' Those words echoed through my mind over and over again. Aria had texted me a few times but I couldn't look at a screen without my head hurting, so I didn't text back.
    For the first time in a while I started thinking about how my being sick was effecting everyone around me. Aria, Phil, my parents. They were all suffering and I was just acting like nothing was happening. I think I was just trying to avoid the fact that I was sick. I was trying to ignore all the decisions and all the pain. But as I was lying in bed that night, thinking and worrying about Aria, and about myself, it finally hit me. I was dying.