Little White Lies

Explanation

Blaine was ready and dressed within 20 minutes and arrived at Kurt's house no longer than 30 minutes after.

Breathing deeply, Blaine raised his hand to knock and paused with his hand rested against the wood. He knew what this visit meant; it meant Blaine telling Kurt everything that went on between them. And that was a lot. But he wasn't worried about that, he was more terrified for confessing up to the real reason why Kurt Hummel suffered from amnesia, all because of one car crash over 6 years ago now.

Shaking out his thoughts, Blaine wrapped his hand 3 times against the door and waited.

"Just a sec!" A voice that sounded far away called.

Blaine's eyebrows raised when he heard a loud bang sound that sounded as if someone had fallen over, followed by a quiet exclamation of "shit."

Finally the door swung open to reveal a very flustered looking Kurt who was completely red in the face but smiling none the less, "Sorry about that."

Blaine laughed, "It's fine. Are you alright?"

"Uh, yeah. I'm alright. I just- just tripped up." Kurt gestured behind himself, "Come in!"

-_-_-

Blaine and Kurt had been making light conversation for a while before deciding to watch a movie, having finally settled with Moulin Rouge.

When 'Come What May' came on Blaine felt his eyes begin to tear up so he had excused himself from the room to go to the bathroom.

When he returned, the movie was paused and Kurt was sat cross-legged on the couch, facing him.

"Can you tell me what happened between us now?"

Blaine took in a deep breath before nodding slowly.

He sat down next to Kurt and stayed silent for a while as he stared at the floor, "I'm not sure where to start."

"The beginning, maybe? Where did we meet?"

"Uh, at a gay bar. Called Scandals? You- you didn't look like the type to be there so I went over. We got to talking and we eventually found out that we were both competing at Nationals the following week, you with the New Directions and me with the Warblers."

"Then what? What kept us talking afterwards?"

"Well I- you have to understand that I was a very different guy back then." Blaine shook his head before looking down at his hands, "But I kinda, maybe got you extremely drunk, took you to my house and, uh, had my way with you, let's say. But afterwards I kicked you out and made you walk home. I- I feel so bad for it, and always have."

"Wow." Kurt raised an eyebrow, "I must have been really messed up to start talking to you again. What did keep us together?"

"Well, I'm not entirely sure why, but you wouldn't leave me alone. I guess, you thought that fuck had meant something more. You would come to Scandals every Wednesday, as that was the day you'd found out I mostly go there. And eventually you found your way back into my pants and then we sorta just became fuck buddies?"

Kurt rolled his eyes at the term, chuckling slightly.

"But I- I started developing feelings for you. Feelings that I hadn't felt before. And I- well, I was scared. I didn't know what to do about it. So, I pushed you away. And you were obviously upset. But I thought I was better off without you. But then I- I couldn't get you out of my head. You were there every day, always in the back of my mind. I couldn't concentrate in class, not that I did before I'd met you."

"So, is that it? Did we turn into anything more?"

"Of course not! Of course there's more. Eventually you confronted me about how I'd pushed you away and I ended up breaking down and confessing my feelings for you, not that I knew what they were at that point. Later on, I'd realise that what I felt for you was love. But at that moment, I just knew that you were no longer just a regular fuck, you were something special."

Kurt smiled, "So, you changed because of me?"

"Shut up, we don't want to boost your ego too much." Blaine laughed, "But yes, if it wasn't for you I'd probably still just be an empty shell of a human, fucking anything with two legs that could move."

"So, did you ever tell me you loved me?"

"Yes, I- I did. But it kind of backfired. I told you, I came round to your house and just admitted to loving you. But then I got scared and I ran away. I didn't answer your messages or phone calls and made sure to never be at home during the day because that way you could find me." At Kurt's widened eyes, Blaine continued, "I know, extreme. But it's the only way I could think to avoid you."

Blaine looked down at his hands in his lap before continuing, "I- I found you that night." He paused, looking up briefly to study Kurt's face before dropping his gaze again, "I found you lying on your back in your car which was flipped over. Glass and blood was everywhere, Kurt. I just- I pulled you out and held you and- and, despite your injuries and my fear of you never waking up, it felt right. Having you there in my arms felt better than anything I'd ever felt before. I was so mad at myself for having done this to you."

"But Blaine, it wasn't your fault. You couldn't have stopped me crashing into that car."

"But if I'd answered one of you calls, I- you might have been with me. I could've done so much to stop it Kurt."

"Blaine I-"

"No, I know it's my fault. It's my fault that your beautiful face was covered in blood, it's my fault that you can't remember." Blaine cleared his throat, "Can we, uh, can we just finish the movie please?"

Kurt continued to stare at him for a while before nodding sadly and grabbing the remote, aiming it at the tv and pressing play.

Aw man 3 more chapters.