My Unlikely Best Friend

Chapter 50

A/N: Hey guys, sorry for missing Sunday, but here ya go!

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Dawn's   P O V

It's been a little while after Adam's visit to my house, I think about a month, and I haven't seen him at all since then, which drives me almost insane because I really missed seeing his face. I even went as far as to invite him over again but unfortunately, he kindly refused. I was so sad when he said no because I wanted to spend time with him, but I guess I could understand; he might've had friends he was hanging out with that day.

We still text and sometimes call each other but not nearly as much like we did in the past; but even so, it's still never feels the same as if we were to be together in person. It's like we're in a long distance relationship, trying to stay in contact, except... I'm the only one who knows about it.

I don't know, it kinda feels like he's pulling away from me for some reason... but that's crazy, he'd never do that. He's probably just busy with school work or something.

Anyway, my mom and I were in the car, heading to the hospital. Today was the day for me to receive chemo because last week, during my check up, Dr. Campbell said that I had completely got over the infection that had me really sick for a while, and continued to say that I'd be able to go through chemotherapy treatment as soon as possible. Life sucks for me right now and... I don't know how to turn that blatant truth around.

This is why I've been longing to talk to Adam lately. I wanted to ask for his advice and instruction on how I'm supposed to view life and this... cancer. He'd used to always tell me that I shouldn't view cancer as something that will take my life or all the things that are important to me, but to see it as something that will make me stronger when I'm healed. Adam would strongly dislike whenever I'd say if I get healed. He would tell me the word would make him cringe so much so, that he made me promise to never use 'if' in front of my healing again. I kept my word for his sake, but it would've meant more to me if the promise was made in person; but no one gets what they want all the time, will they? I smiled at the thought of that weird and mysterious boy.

I missed him... a lot.

I remembered that while my doctor smiled at the fact of me finally being able to get another chance at chemo, my frown deepened to where my mouth was just a shadow. My mother also was upset, but I could see that she tried her best to conceal her worry and act hopeful. She was, it's just that it's harder to truly be hopeful when you're in a very hard and dire situation.

I was so nervous. My heart raced at the thought of that liquid being forced into my vein. I had no say in any of this; everytime I tried to express my opinion about chemo to my doctor, he'd just brush it off as gently as he could and tell me, ‘Don't worry, Dawn, I've got this,’ or ‘You're in good hands.’ I don't know why, but that just made me feel worse.

As soon as my mom took a left under the green light, I was immediately able to see the tall building after we'd passed a few big trees. I scrutinized the building for a long while, wondering if I would go through what I went through the last time. My stomach was kinda acting funny at the thought, cramping a little bit—I felt like crapping my pants, actually. I wish this day didn't have to come. Why did it?

I'd rather die with this cancer consuming my blood and bones than to have poison fight against it on my behalf. It's ironic to me, really—chemo... isn't it the very thing that would kill a healthy person in a heartbeat? Yet, it's being used on me to hopefully help me and to not kill me in the process.

After my mom managed to find a spot in the heavily crowed parking area, we got out and began to make our way toward the hospital. I held my mom's hand as we walked, not caring what other people might think. I really needed the comfort I'd get from holding hers. They were so soft. Even though I clearly wasn't by myself and my mom was standing right next to me, I still felt alone and deathly afraid.